Not nearly as catchy as a tune.
Good news:
--We'll have a date for flying to Guatemala sometime next week. Is it sad that I've already picked out my entry title for the blog on that one?
--My dress for Vaya's wedding came. Its a little too long, and I don't know what to do about that, because the bottom edge is covered with embroidery...so I can't just cut it off and re-hem the dress. Well, I could, but at the loss of the embroidery.
--I bought the pattern and the fabric I needed for sweetling's dress. I still need buttons and some trim, but I thought I'd take Sweetling to the fabric store with me to pick those out. Plus, I need to get the dress made first, so I can measure exactly how much trim I'll need.
--Mango Margarita called me on Monday just to say hi and chat. (insert small victory sound byte here). I sent her a vase of red roses on Webkinz world. I hope that wasn't too forward of me ;)
Other news:
--I'm trying to avoid stressing and panicking. I tend to do that when I start feeling overwhelmed. I really want to enjoy the cool upcoming events in my life. Right now I'm taking more of a 'lets get this over with attitude' and not only does that not match the many blessings going on in my life, it means I'll miss out on a lot of events that should be bringing me a great deal of joy.
--Sweetling wants to have a birthday sleepover. There is not a single weekend that we can do this in before the Guatemala trip. I think we'll stick to the original plan of a park birthday party. I have no rain plans. As it is, I think the plans are, the Jedi goes and scouts a location. I stay here and wait for most mom's to drop off and talk one mom into following me over and staying to the party. The Jedi calls me when he has a location, and we head out. We asked the park about reserving a pavilion. On monday-thursday, you can reserve a pavilion for half the cost of a weekend rate...only $57. We're going with the scout and squat option instead. I still need to come up with a craft and a game for the girls. You know, if I HAD a flippin weekend night open at all, the sleepover would be the much easier option.
--The other option that I take when I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed is to say "forget this" and go read a book. I have a box of VC Andrews that MIL sent back from Canton with me. And you can all get off your literary high horses about the author (I'm looking at you, Smurf)....these are my mind-numbing alternatives to facing responsibility.
--Telephone really really wants to come over and paint fishes on Energy's wall. So does Smurf. I don't think I need to spell that one out any further.
--I'm putting off going to the grocery store, because the prospect of trying to come up with a dinner menu for May is just daunting. I'm envisioning a lot of spaghetti in our near future. I am, however, almost out of cocoa...which means my hot chocolate is in jeapordy. Am I a bad mother if I come home from the grocery store with mutliple boxes of spaghetti, jars of sauce, peanut butter, bread, and two or three tins of cocoa? Oh, and cookie ingredients. Maybe a brownie mix or two.
--Mother wants me to go the to bank, take cash out of my account in the drive through, then use a deposit slip to go up to the tellar and deposit it in her account, so she can use her check card to get gas to get home from work. I'd make a few comments there, but I'm feeling rather guilty that so many of my blog entries have turned into venting sessions recently. (She doesn't know her account number, so I don't have that to put on a deposit slip either).
Oh, more good news. I'd scroll up, but maybe putting this at the end will off set my little pity party (with snacks).
The light is visible at the end of the school tunnel. We need to reach 90% completion on the core lessons, and we're at 86%; 75%; 81%; 81%; and 78%. That's doable right? That's 7 math lessons, 15 literature lessons, 20 total language skills lessons (includes vocab, grammar, and comp), and 12 history lessons. Those of you who are particularly observant will notice that I skipped that 75%. Yeah, that's in spelling. We're taking a new approach to that for the remainder of the year, so I'm not too fretful of the percentage there.
Speaking of which, Sweetling is finished with her math, so I'm going to go do grammar with her.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Tra la la la la
I had a totally awesome weekend, but only have a few minutes, so I can't blog about that now. I actually sat down, because I just finished unpacking from both this weekend and last weekend, and figured I could take a couple minutes to check my emails.
Sweetling just went tra la la la la-ing down the hallway, with ka plunk ka plunk ka plunk following along with her. I looked up to see what the ka plunks were. She had a cup of glass marbles (the kind you put in vases for flower arrangements and the like) and was strewing the marbles all over the hallway like they were flower petals.
I just turned back to my computer without asking.
Sweetling just went tra la la la la-ing down the hallway, with ka plunk ka plunk ka plunk following along with her. I looked up to see what the ka plunks were. She had a cup of glass marbles (the kind you put in vases for flower arrangements and the like) and was strewing the marbles all over the hallway like they were flower petals.
I just turned back to my computer without asking.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Mango Margarita OR I'm a stray cat
In the past couple weeks I...
...completed my first scrapbook ever. Key word here is completed. I've worked on scrapbooks before, but you know I'm not down with this completion thing. I got the pictures in the mail for the scrap book on Tuesday afternoon. The Jedi went through them with me on Tuesday night and scanned the ones we were going to use in the computer. On Wednesday I sized some photos and did a little photo editing because the photos were old, and their quality was low. On Wednesday night (after church), I got my first double page spread completed. I did a full day of school on both Wednesday and Thursday, and then on Thursday afternoon, between 3:30 and 11:30...I got all the other scrapbook pages done. Go me. About 18 pages (nine double spreads) in all. Yay :)
...discovered that red and green really do make a yucky color together. We went, as a family, to ColdStone last week or the week before (its all a blur.) The Jedi bought a strawberry cake, which had huge honking whole frozen strawberries on top that one could break a tooth on, but not eat. Sweetling wanted a smoothie, and I through the frozen strawberries in the blender. I didn't rinse the icing off of them, because I figured, bonus sugar, right? Well, red icing and green icing results in grey smoothie. Sweetling and I drank our grey smoothies anyway.
...drove the wrong way down a one way street on purpose with a van full of little girls. I told them to close their eyes. So, maybe that doesn't quite count as corrupting a minor. Endangering maybe...
...decided that as soon as my life calms down, I really need to spend time with my friends. Realized that my life isn't going to calm down until maybe July. Maybe.
...told Telephone that I was NOT working Veteran's Day and that if she signed our troop up for working the Veteran's Day program, I was anticipating being sick that day. Telephone laughed, but she didn't sign us up for Veteran's Day.
...wore matching shirts with Telephone to church on Wednesday. Our camporee theme for the weekend was "Extreme Home Makeover: Camporee Edition." I really really really wanted a shirt. They were so cool. They were also reserved for the workers and the organizers of the event. Which, you know, I wasn't. (see above for a clue as to why). Telephone nabbed me a shirt anyway.
...discovered that getting your thumb smashed by a hammer weilded by a 7 year old really hurts and birdhouses aren't as easy as they should be to build.
...was amazed that 400 girls could spend all day working at stations learning to use tools (including some power drills) and didn't have any injuries worse than a scrapped knee after lunch.
...got my picture taken for the local paper at above events.
...went stargazing with 7 little girls after campfire. Found the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, Polaris, Draco's tail, Orion, Venus, and Saturn and was able to point them out to the girls. (Saturn involved calling the Jedi and having him run a starchart on the computer to tell me where to look and how to find it).
...was the absolute last group of little girls to get to bed.
...became enamored of Mango Margarita and want her as a friend in the worst way. Like grade-school, please oh please oh please be my friend.
...shuffled across the courtyard of the 'fort' in the middle of the night with Mango Margarita because neither of us could sleep for worrying about the seven little girls in the other room. Mango Margarita decided it was too cold to get out of her sleeping bag, so she did the sleeping bag shuffle across the grass. I stepped into my shoes, wrapped my sleeping bag around my shoulders, and through my flimpsy camp cot mattress over my back like a mutant turtle. Just outside the door of the room (which we reached after a great deal of giggling), Mango accurately observed, "We are the biggest losers *EVER*". She creaked open the door, and whispered "Girls, don't be scared, its just us." No one answered her, because the girls were all alseep. Not a single one was lying on their cot in a dark room feeling homesick, needing to go to the bathroom, or too cold to sleep, as we had imagined. Mango slept on the last cot open in the girls room, and I slept on my sorry camp cot pad on the floor. We still slept fitfully, waking up when the girls would turn over. (Which really was noisier than it sounds.) In the morning, we further proved our dorkiness because between the two of us, we couldn't get Mango's sleeping bag rolled up and back in its nifty duffle bag. The two of us were outside, trying to wrestle the sleeping bag into submission long after all the 7 and 8 year olds had rolled their sleeping bags up and packed up for the day.
...drank more hot chocolate than I even want to think about.
....have successfully made many dinners in the crockpot, which I remembered to plug in and turn on. Now I just have to work out this whole "turn it off" part at the end.
...am two weeks behind in my Beth Moore bible study. Haven't decided if I want to try to catch up, or skip it.
...am sleeping through the night, for 7-8 hours, but still feel sleepy through the day. The answer of course, is to maybe exercise to get my circulation perked up. Or something else that just isn't going to happen.
...learned that "putzed", which I've always used as a synonym for "puttered" has a *totally* different meaning.
...have been so very very glad that I didn't order any seeds or bareroot plants for the garden. The outdoors is just going to have to fend for itself this year. Its getting NOTHING from me. Nothing.
...tried to tactfully explain to Sweetling why its important that she get her foot up high enough to kick the little boy she is sparring with *above* the belt.
Next week, I'll...
...keep up the amazing progress Sweetling has made in school the past few weeks. She's gone from being behind (from missing a lot when mother was in the hospital and had appointments all over the place), to being on track to finish within the first week of June. I'd like to get finished before the end of May, but that's a long shot.
...get fabric and a pattern to start sewing Sweetling's dress for Vaya's wedding.
...hem 14 sashes for girl dancers.
...finish painting fishes on Energy's wall.
...clean Sweetling's fishtank and take her to pick out a couple new fish as a reward for the school progress she has made.
...wish I was able to celebrate the first of May properly. Nothing in our yard is conducive to that though.
...go on walks or scooter rides with Sweetling. Post our minutes on FlyLady's 'bless your heart' club to participate in her 'virtual walking tour' of America.
...make three dozen cookies for the reception after the Children's Musical on Sunday.
...call Mom to tell her about the Children's Musical on Sunday.
...get together a grocery list for May and go shopping. When I'll get to go shopping, I don't know. Maybe the Jedi can take Sweetling to Tae Kwon Do on Tuesday and I'll go while they're in class. Maybe I should do the May shopping week by week, since there's so much craziness going on. Maybe trying to go shopping every week would only make it worse.
...realize my plans for the week have a distinct lack of fun or interesting activities. Drink more hot chocolate to compensate.
...completed my first scrapbook ever. Key word here is completed. I've worked on scrapbooks before, but you know I'm not down with this completion thing. I got the pictures in the mail for the scrap book on Tuesday afternoon. The Jedi went through them with me on Tuesday night and scanned the ones we were going to use in the computer. On Wednesday I sized some photos and did a little photo editing because the photos were old, and their quality was low. On Wednesday night (after church), I got my first double page spread completed. I did a full day of school on both Wednesday and Thursday, and then on Thursday afternoon, between 3:30 and 11:30...I got all the other scrapbook pages done. Go me. About 18 pages (nine double spreads) in all. Yay :)
...discovered that red and green really do make a yucky color together. We went, as a family, to ColdStone last week or the week before (its all a blur.) The Jedi bought a strawberry cake, which had huge honking whole frozen strawberries on top that one could break a tooth on, but not eat. Sweetling wanted a smoothie, and I through the frozen strawberries in the blender. I didn't rinse the icing off of them, because I figured, bonus sugar, right? Well, red icing and green icing results in grey smoothie. Sweetling and I drank our grey smoothies anyway.
...drove the wrong way down a one way street on purpose with a van full of little girls. I told them to close their eyes. So, maybe that doesn't quite count as corrupting a minor. Endangering maybe...
...decided that as soon as my life calms down, I really need to spend time with my friends. Realized that my life isn't going to calm down until maybe July. Maybe.
...told Telephone that I was NOT working Veteran's Day and that if she signed our troop up for working the Veteran's Day program, I was anticipating being sick that day. Telephone laughed, but she didn't sign us up for Veteran's Day.
...wore matching shirts with Telephone to church on Wednesday. Our camporee theme for the weekend was "Extreme Home Makeover: Camporee Edition." I really really really wanted a shirt. They were so cool. They were also reserved for the workers and the organizers of the event. Which, you know, I wasn't. (see above for a clue as to why). Telephone nabbed me a shirt anyway.
...discovered that getting your thumb smashed by a hammer weilded by a 7 year old really hurts and birdhouses aren't as easy as they should be to build.
...was amazed that 400 girls could spend all day working at stations learning to use tools (including some power drills) and didn't have any injuries worse than a scrapped knee after lunch.
...got my picture taken for the local paper at above events.
...went stargazing with 7 little girls after campfire. Found the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, Polaris, Draco's tail, Orion, Venus, and Saturn and was able to point them out to the girls. (Saturn involved calling the Jedi and having him run a starchart on the computer to tell me where to look and how to find it).
...was the absolute last group of little girls to get to bed.
...became enamored of Mango Margarita and want her as a friend in the worst way. Like grade-school, please oh please oh please be my friend.
...shuffled across the courtyard of the 'fort' in the middle of the night with Mango Margarita because neither of us could sleep for worrying about the seven little girls in the other room. Mango Margarita decided it was too cold to get out of her sleeping bag, so she did the sleeping bag shuffle across the grass. I stepped into my shoes, wrapped my sleeping bag around my shoulders, and through my flimpsy camp cot mattress over my back like a mutant turtle. Just outside the door of the room (which we reached after a great deal of giggling), Mango accurately observed, "We are the biggest losers *EVER*". She creaked open the door, and whispered "Girls, don't be scared, its just us." No one answered her, because the girls were all alseep. Not a single one was lying on their cot in a dark room feeling homesick, needing to go to the bathroom, or too cold to sleep, as we had imagined. Mango slept on the last cot open in the girls room, and I slept on my sorry camp cot pad on the floor. We still slept fitfully, waking up when the girls would turn over. (Which really was noisier than it sounds.) In the morning, we further proved our dorkiness because between the two of us, we couldn't get Mango's sleeping bag rolled up and back in its nifty duffle bag. The two of us were outside, trying to wrestle the sleeping bag into submission long after all the 7 and 8 year olds had rolled their sleeping bags up and packed up for the day.
...drank more hot chocolate than I even want to think about.
....have successfully made many dinners in the crockpot, which I remembered to plug in and turn on. Now I just have to work out this whole "turn it off" part at the end.
...am two weeks behind in my Beth Moore bible study. Haven't decided if I want to try to catch up, or skip it.
...am sleeping through the night, for 7-8 hours, but still feel sleepy through the day. The answer of course, is to maybe exercise to get my circulation perked up. Or something else that just isn't going to happen.
...learned that "putzed", which I've always used as a synonym for "puttered" has a *totally* different meaning.
...have been so very very glad that I didn't order any seeds or bareroot plants for the garden. The outdoors is just going to have to fend for itself this year. Its getting NOTHING from me. Nothing.
...tried to tactfully explain to Sweetling why its important that she get her foot up high enough to kick the little boy she is sparring with *above* the belt.
Next week, I'll...
...keep up the amazing progress Sweetling has made in school the past few weeks. She's gone from being behind (from missing a lot when mother was in the hospital and had appointments all over the place), to being on track to finish within the first week of June. I'd like to get finished before the end of May, but that's a long shot.
...get fabric and a pattern to start sewing Sweetling's dress for Vaya's wedding.
...hem 14 sashes for girl dancers.
...finish painting fishes on Energy's wall.
...clean Sweetling's fishtank and take her to pick out a couple new fish as a reward for the school progress she has made.
...wish I was able to celebrate the first of May properly. Nothing in our yard is conducive to that though.
...go on walks or scooter rides with Sweetling. Post our minutes on FlyLady's 'bless your heart' club to participate in her 'virtual walking tour' of America.
...make three dozen cookies for the reception after the Children's Musical on Sunday.
...call Mom to tell her about the Children's Musical on Sunday.
...get together a grocery list for May and go shopping. When I'll get to go shopping, I don't know. Maybe the Jedi can take Sweetling to Tae Kwon Do on Tuesday and I'll go while they're in class. Maybe I should do the May shopping week by week, since there's so much craziness going on. Maybe trying to go shopping every week would only make it worse.
...realize my plans for the week have a distinct lack of fun or interesting activities. Drink more hot chocolate to compensate.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Stuck
I'm writing a letter about the Jedi to someone who is very important to the Jedi. The Jedi asked me to do this, and I agreed. BUT, I'm stuck. I can't explain in a whole lot of details, because the Jedi is so very private, and I'm not sure he wants his story posted on my internet blog. I've gotten two paragraphs finished.
Stuck.
Suggestions?
And yes, I've been scarce. If it makes you feel better, I went for days without being on Webkinz either. Christopher Robin will tell you its because its spring.
Yes, it is Spring. Hooray for Spring. Glorious Spring. Wonderful Spring.
It also happens that every spring my life gets really busy. This spring is more busy than most. Now, I'm trying NOT to sound like a helpless victem of circumstance. I think that's a broken record that has been skipping along the same sorry rut in the women of my family for a while now. TPTTPTPTPPPPtttt to being a victim. I'm all freaking done with that.
But, in the priorities of my life right now, sitting down to spend time at the computer isn't high on my list. Not that I don't love all of you. Just that computer time is pretty far down there on my list at the moment.
Stuck.
Suggestions?
And yes, I've been scarce. If it makes you feel better, I went for days without being on Webkinz either. Christopher Robin will tell you its because its spring.
Yes, it is Spring. Hooray for Spring. Glorious Spring. Wonderful Spring.
It also happens that every spring my life gets really busy. This spring is more busy than most. Now, I'm trying NOT to sound like a helpless victem of circumstance. I think that's a broken record that has been skipping along the same sorry rut in the women of my family for a while now. TPTTPTPTPPPPtttt to being a victim. I'm all freaking done with that.
But, in the priorities of my life right now, sitting down to spend time at the computer isn't high on my list. Not that I don't love all of you. Just that computer time is pretty far down there on my list at the moment.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Cleaning out my Yahoo mail
It isn't on the list, but the laundry is nearly caught up. and anyway, I have to hang out in the school room to help Sweetling not get distracted.
Anyway, I came across a Cranium "newsletter" (read graphic advertisement with a code for free shipping that's already expired.) And, being the productive, non-sucker that I am, I click on the link for their new blog site.
I read...
Hey Vaya, check out the dress I found for me for your wedding. Go me. I should post this as an image so Christopher Robin gets to see it. No, nevermind, I need to beg her for favors. I shall not tease her with dresses.
Anyway, I came across a Cranium "newsletter" (read graphic advertisement with a code for free shipping that's already expired.) And, being the productive, non-sucker that I am, I click on the link for their new blog site.
I read...
she asked him a couple days ago how stoplights changed color, he asked her to put forth her theory.And Sweetling (remember, I'm in the room so that she doesn't distract herself from school) immediately begins drawing me a possible circuit for the interior of traffic lights. Then we went on to read about the gnomes together.“I can think of three things that make stoplights change colors,” he said. “Can you tell me what any of those might be?”
“People can push the button …” she said.
“And?” Adam asked.
Lucy paused for a moment before answering.
“Gnomes?” she suggested.
Hey Vaya, check out the dress I found for me for your wedding. Go me. I should post this as an image so Christopher Robin gets to see it. No, nevermind, I need to beg her for favors. I shall not tease her with dresses.
About Completion
Just a little thought of encouragement for myself:
Getting it done IS the "right" way of doing it...NOT "doing it the right way"
I have a lot on my list. I just need to get it done, not fret myself into paralysis over getting it done 'perfectly'.
Vaya is my foster daughter. We got guardianship of her just before she turned 18, only because they wouldn't let us adopt her. But everyone assumes that we're sisters, because I look 15 at best, and Vaya looks 12 ;) Sweetling looks, um, sweet enough to eat. I think I'll go do that now. Better run little girl who is reading over my shoulder. Your stuffed eagle isn't going to save you.
Getting it done IS the "right" way of doing it...NOT "doing it the right way"
I have a lot on my list. I just need to get it done, not fret myself into paralysis over getting it done 'perfectly'.
Vaya is my foster daughter. We got guardianship of her just before she turned 18, only because they wouldn't let us adopt her. But everyone assumes that we're sisters, because I look 15 at best, and Vaya looks 12 ;) Sweetling looks, um, sweet enough to eat. I think I'll go do that now. Better run little girl who is reading over my shoulder. Your stuffed eagle isn't going to save you.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Ding, dong, the list is here...
It does *so* work as a title. You just weren't trying hard enough.
Sweetling's birthday: May12th
cake
location
games
craft
party favors
decorations
invitations
snacks
guest list
Energy's room: ?
sort clothes, fill drawers
paint fish
toys?
books?
figure out what IS that STUFF on the shelf of his closet
comforter for bed
scrape vaya's stickers off the windows
items for shower: car seat, big wheel, baby monitor?, church clothes
Sewing projects:
flower girl dress
my dress
1850's outfit?
-find patterns (Simplicity 3987)
-buy fabric and notions
-shop around for dress for me so I don't have to sew one
Vaya's wedding: May 19th
procure tableclothes (9 round and 2 rectangular)
beg and borrow glass bowls (8)
buy floating candles (8)
buy ivy 3 runners, 8 circles
get plates, utensils, etc- 60 people
plan menu with Mollie
drinks, coolers, ice
outdoor seating arrangements (Christopher Robinnn....)
The Jedi's scrapbook
Girls' Dance May 7th
--figure out where in the world I put the CDs
--hem sashes
--borrow streamers from Guappa
Guatemala!!!!!!!!!!!!
-get list from NiceLady of needed items
-get said list to Office Jewel
-pack medicine bag (sounds so tribal)
-list of materials for plane ride
-get second Hep B shot (ooops, hope the first one is still valid)
-disposable cameras
-get vacation fish feeder
-ask neighbor to grab mail
Summer
--darn schedule
--Sweetling handwriting
--Spanish
--summer reading list
--scrapbooks
Garden
--move strawberry patch
--reseed lawn
--mulch under swings
Computer
--rename and save photos
School
--math
--history
--literature
--grammar
--vocabulary
--spelling
--art
Ok. I'm stopping now. I was excited when I sat down to make my list...but I can sense myself turning sarcastic. So I'll stop now. I have BIG news to share though. I put it last as a special treat for everyone who loved me enought to read trough my list....
Energy's adoption case has been approved by the Guatemalan government! Hooray! We'll all be flying to Guatemala to get him at the end of May, beginning of June sometime. Woo and HOO!
I'm editing this entry and greying things out as I get them done.
Sweetling's birthday: May12th
cake
location
games
craft
party favors
decorations
invitations
snacks
guest list
Energy's room: ?
sort clothes, fill drawers
paint fish
toys?
books?
figure out what IS that STUFF on the shelf of his closet
comforter for bed
scrape vaya's stickers off the windows
items for shower: car seat, big wheel, baby monitor?, church clothes
Sewing projects:
flower girl dress
my dress
1850's outfit?
-find patterns (Simplicity 3987)
-buy fabric and notions
-shop around for dress for me so I don't have to sew one
Vaya's wedding: May 19th
procure tableclothes (9 round and 2 rectangular)
beg and borrow glass bowls (8)
buy floating candles (8)
buy ivy 3 runners, 8 circles
get plates, utensils, etc- 60 people
plan menu with Mollie
drinks, coolers, ice
outdoor seating arrangements (Christopher Robinnn....)
The Jedi's scrapbook
Girls' Dance May 7th
--figure out where in the world I put the CDs
--hem sashes
--borrow streamers from Guappa
Guatemala!!!!!!!!!!!!
-get list from NiceLady of needed items
-get said list to Office Jewel
-pack medicine bag (sounds so tribal)
-list of materials for plane ride
-get second Hep B shot (ooops, hope the first one is still valid)
-disposable cameras
-get vacation fish feeder
-ask neighbor to grab mail
Summer
--darn schedule
--Sweetling handwriting
--Spanish
--summer reading list
--scrapbooks
Garden
--move strawberry patch
--reseed lawn
--mulch under swings
Computer
--rename and save photos
School
--math
--history
--literature
--grammar
--vocabulary
--spelling
--art
Ok. I'm stopping now. I was excited when I sat down to make my list...but I can sense myself turning sarcastic. So I'll stop now. I have BIG news to share though. I put it last as a special treat for everyone who loved me enought to read trough my list....
Energy's adoption case has been approved by the Guatemalan government! Hooray! We'll all be flying to Guatemala to get him at the end of May, beginning of June sometime. Woo and HOO!
I'm editing this entry and greying things out as I get them done.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Me want spring!!!
I don't have a lot of room to complain, cause we don't have snow here...on the other hand...we have cold and mud here. Of the two, snow might be preferable. That would at least give me an excuse to send Sweetling outside to play while I did many productive things....none of them involving Webkinz. ;)
I was going to say that I have nothing to write about, but that's not true. I have plenty to write about. The truth is just that I don't feel like writing.
I want the magic house fairy to come in and clean my house. Or at least pick up and put away all my clutter. I can clean, I can't declutter. No, that's a lie. I can clean, and I don't like to declutter.
And I want chocolate. I should take five minutes and do just a few exercises. Because you know, five minutes of exercising totally negates a chocolate binge, right?
Sweetling is dressing herself out of clothes in "buckets". I had, several weeks ago, put away all her winter clothes and put out all her summer clothes. The Jedi, in his wisdom, didn't take the large storage tubs out to the garage just yet. Which is good, cause he'd have been bringing them back in from the garage a week after I packed everything up. Now Sweetling is living out of two plastic storage tubs till the weather changes back to what its *supposed* to be.
We put on music after devotions this morning and got 15 mintues of cleaning done. We did a five minute room rescue in the school room. We got math and some history done. We're having egg salad for lunch. I lit candles to bring some more cheer in...but there's still a distinct lack of cheer and enthusiasm over here.
Nonetheless, I'm being a good little girl and staying home to do school and housework instead of giving up and heading to Christopher Robins house. My reward for being good is that I get to stay home and do school and housework.
I need to pick a better reward? Do I want to reward myself this afternoon with Buffy, Malcolm, or webkinz?
I was going to say that I have nothing to write about, but that's not true. I have plenty to write about. The truth is just that I don't feel like writing.
I want the magic house fairy to come in and clean my house. Or at least pick up and put away all my clutter. I can clean, I can't declutter. No, that's a lie. I can clean, and I don't like to declutter.
And I want chocolate. I should take five minutes and do just a few exercises. Because you know, five minutes of exercising totally negates a chocolate binge, right?
Sweetling is dressing herself out of clothes in "buckets". I had, several weeks ago, put away all her winter clothes and put out all her summer clothes. The Jedi, in his wisdom, didn't take the large storage tubs out to the garage just yet. Which is good, cause he'd have been bringing them back in from the garage a week after I packed everything up. Now Sweetling is living out of two plastic storage tubs till the weather changes back to what its *supposed* to be.
We put on music after devotions this morning and got 15 mintues of cleaning done. We did a five minute room rescue in the school room. We got math and some history done. We're having egg salad for lunch. I lit candles to bring some more cheer in...but there's still a distinct lack of cheer and enthusiasm over here.
Nonetheless, I'm being a good little girl and staying home to do school and housework instead of giving up and heading to Christopher Robins house. My reward for being good is that I get to stay home and do school and housework.
I need to pick a better reward? Do I want to reward myself this afternoon with Buffy, Malcolm, or webkinz?
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Beedy Red Eyes
This is a "collectable" dice game inside the webkinz world. Its a strategy game...you try to knock out your opponent's move dice, defend your own move dice...and at the end of the turn, each player advances...if they have any move dice left.In this lovely photo, I'm in the process of having my sweet pink bottom handed to me by a tree frog controlled by an eight year old. Notice the beedy red tree frog eye's staring at me in mockery.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Tadpoles and Accountants
One of these two things are absolutely adorable and a blessing from God. The other is the embodiment of slow, cruel torture. Can you guess which is which?
I didn't blog on Tuesday. I should know better than to make predictions. You should know better than to believe me.
It was a beautiful day :) We had had a "spell" with mother that morning that was a bit worrisome. But, by the afternoon, she was doing much better. Smurf had come over to be with me and Mom, cause Mom's health was still a bit iffy and she needed someone with her just in case. (The anti-coagulent level in her blood was dangerously high, any bleeding or bruising or signs of spontaneous internal bleeding was cause for an er trip). But, like I said, by the afternoon she was no longer weak or dizzy, and was in fact, pretty perky. I was restless. Smurf wanted to take Sweetling for a walk. Mom wanted to go. I wasn't going to stay cooped up in the house when it was sunny and 80 out....so we took our health frail mother to the local nature preserve. That's right. But, in fairness, its not a 'rugged' nature preserve. It has a paved asphalt path and I had a wheelchair in my van, so we thought we'd go for a walk and let Mom alternately walk and ride when she needed to.
There's a little pond there, and it was *full* of tadpoles. I have never in my life seen so many tadpoles. The pond had a small wooden deck so that we could stand on the deck and lean over the rail to look straight down at the shallow edge of the pond. And that's where all the tadpoles were. Fat tadpoles lazily hovering over the rocks at the bottom of the pond. Every now and then one would slowly swim up to the surface. We who were leaning over the railing decided that they were coming up to say "hi". They were just adorable. I loved them :)
Accounting on the other hand, is a very different story. Mom is taking Financial Accounting and Business Stats. She's not very computer savy, and has trouble getting her homework to format correctly on the computer. She asked if I would type the problems up for her after she worked them out on paper. I thought, hey, I can type and use a computer. I said sure. Foolish mortal that I am. Accounting sucks. Accounting sucks so bad that even excel, which was created to do accounting, hates to format accounting homework problems.
Tadpoles good. Accounting bad.
I didn't blog on Tuesday. I should know better than to make predictions. You should know better than to believe me.
It was a beautiful day :) We had had a "spell" with mother that morning that was a bit worrisome. But, by the afternoon, she was doing much better. Smurf had come over to be with me and Mom, cause Mom's health was still a bit iffy and she needed someone with her just in case. (The anti-coagulent level in her blood was dangerously high, any bleeding or bruising or signs of spontaneous internal bleeding was cause for an er trip). But, like I said, by the afternoon she was no longer weak or dizzy, and was in fact, pretty perky. I was restless. Smurf wanted to take Sweetling for a walk. Mom wanted to go. I wasn't going to stay cooped up in the house when it was sunny and 80 out....so we took our health frail mother to the local nature preserve. That's right. But, in fairness, its not a 'rugged' nature preserve. It has a paved asphalt path and I had a wheelchair in my van, so we thought we'd go for a walk and let Mom alternately walk and ride when she needed to.
There's a little pond there, and it was *full* of tadpoles. I have never in my life seen so many tadpoles. The pond had a small wooden deck so that we could stand on the deck and lean over the rail to look straight down at the shallow edge of the pond. And that's where all the tadpoles were. Fat tadpoles lazily hovering over the rocks at the bottom of the pond. Every now and then one would slowly swim up to the surface. We who were leaning over the railing decided that they were coming up to say "hi". They were just adorable. I loved them :)
Accounting on the other hand, is a very different story. Mom is taking Financial Accounting and Business Stats. She's not very computer savy, and has trouble getting her homework to format correctly on the computer. She asked if I would type the problems up for her after she worked them out on paper. I thought, hey, I can type and use a computer. I said sure. Foolish mortal that I am. Accounting sucks. Accounting sucks so bad that even excel, which was created to do accounting, hates to format accounting homework problems.
Tadpoles good. Accounting bad.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Back to Life, Back to Reality
You know, the next time anyone hears me whining about wanting a break from my life, smack me upside the head.
I had a break from my life for about a week and a half now....AND I WANT MY LIFE BACK!
There. I'm done with my temper tantrum. Almost. Can I just say that getting excited about being able to do laundry and housework again is a *bad* sign. A very bad sign.
I got to clean my kitchen today and pick up a bunch of clutter in the living room and I am thrilled. Its like the Easter Bunny came early :) I can't wait till I get a chance to get some of my laundry in the machines. I'm totally serious. I know I'm often sarcastic, but I swear I'm serious this time!
Spring happened while I was at the hospital with Mom. Literally. I went on a walk in the hospital courtyard on one of the first days I was there, and the ground was bare and the trees had just the faintest of buds on them. I went down with Mom when she was allowed to push her IV into the elevator and go on a short walk. There were daffodils and baby leaves and sunshine and pear blossoms. It was beautiful. It could not have happened in so short a time, but it did.
I spent Saturday morning puttering outside for a little. I cut back the dead growth from last fall and did some early spring weeding. I have to move the strawberry patch though. boo hoo. The strawberry patch is directly off the back patio. Sweetling is very careful to go around the strawberry patch. The worry is that E is for Energy will go THROUGH the strawberry patch on his way to the lawn. Its a valid worry. And the lawn isn't that big, so having that area as lawn space will be better for a little boy to kick a soccer ball around on.
I'm moving the strawberry patch into the butterfly garden. Now, the butterfly garden has been, to date my most successful gardening attempts. I felt like crying as I ripped up the path in preparration for moving things around. It started to rain, and I was sitting in the mud digging up buckets of decorative rocks that were in the path. The Jedi (who had spent the morning changing the oil in the van and car) came around to make sure I had enough sense to stop what I was doing and come in out of the rain. I wouldn't have left to my own devices. Sitting in the mud in the rain digging up rocks fit my mood for most of the past couple of weeks. But I stopped. The Jedi took my trowel and my bucket away from me and put them in the garage. And I did feel much better after a shower.
The plants still need moved. They are already nearly too big to transplant. Spring happens FAST.
Lushgirl tagged me with songs, I think. I'll try to get back to that tomorow. (And hooray for having a tomorrow when I *know* I can sit down and blog.
For now, my little timer has gone off. Fifteen minutes are up. I'm going to go start dinner. (Monkey bread, bacon, eggs and canteloupe).
I had a break from my life for about a week and a half now....AND I WANT MY LIFE BACK!
There. I'm done with my temper tantrum. Almost. Can I just say that getting excited about being able to do laundry and housework again is a *bad* sign. A very bad sign.
I got to clean my kitchen today and pick up a bunch of clutter in the living room and I am thrilled. Its like the Easter Bunny came early :) I can't wait till I get a chance to get some of my laundry in the machines. I'm totally serious. I know I'm often sarcastic, but I swear I'm serious this time!
Spring happened while I was at the hospital with Mom. Literally. I went on a walk in the hospital courtyard on one of the first days I was there, and the ground was bare and the trees had just the faintest of buds on them. I went down with Mom when she was allowed to push her IV into the elevator and go on a short walk. There were daffodils and baby leaves and sunshine and pear blossoms. It was beautiful. It could not have happened in so short a time, but it did.
I spent Saturday morning puttering outside for a little. I cut back the dead growth from last fall and did some early spring weeding. I have to move the strawberry patch though. boo hoo. The strawberry patch is directly off the back patio. Sweetling is very careful to go around the strawberry patch. The worry is that E is for Energy will go THROUGH the strawberry patch on his way to the lawn. Its a valid worry. And the lawn isn't that big, so having that area as lawn space will be better for a little boy to kick a soccer ball around on.
I'm moving the strawberry patch into the butterfly garden. Now, the butterfly garden has been, to date my most successful gardening attempts. I felt like crying as I ripped up the path in preparration for moving things around. It started to rain, and I was sitting in the mud digging up buckets of decorative rocks that were in the path. The Jedi (who had spent the morning changing the oil in the van and car) came around to make sure I had enough sense to stop what I was doing and come in out of the rain. I wouldn't have left to my own devices. Sitting in the mud in the rain digging up rocks fit my mood for most of the past couple of weeks. But I stopped. The Jedi took my trowel and my bucket away from me and put them in the garage. And I did feel much better after a shower.
The plants still need moved. They are already nearly too big to transplant. Spring happens FAST.
Lushgirl tagged me with songs, I think. I'll try to get back to that tomorow. (And hooray for having a tomorrow when I *know* I can sit down and blog.
For now, my little timer has gone off. Fifteen minutes are up. I'm going to go start dinner. (Monkey bread, bacon, eggs and canteloupe).
Friday, March 23, 2007
Oh, we've come to intermission...
I'm not in the mood to write about the hospital just now, though I totally have to write about the urine log later. I don't see how Smurf still has a shred of sanity left. It will be my watch tonight.
In the meantime, I'm leaving you with this interesting thought I came across:
In the meantime, I'm leaving you with this interesting thought I came across:
-----Email Message-----I used to write my initials on the corners of the dollars I got in my birthday cards each year. This is like a more interesting version of that.
Sent: Sunday, March 11, 2007 2:29 PM
For the last year, since I discovered PostSecret, I've been writing a different secret on every one dollar bill I get. When one makes it back. I'll send it to you.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Tae Kwon Do
First, Mom's recovery is going much slower than anticipated. They're thinking maybe a blood transfusion is in order. They had her back on oxygen this morning. She was able to eat a little bit at lunch, and she was a bit more awake and aware this afternoon than she had been all morning.
Second, I'm in total need of a mental break. Smurf needs one more though, so I can't complain too much.
Third....also called "In other news"
This is Sweetling's second week of Tae Kwon Do. When she was little, I have to confess I was really hoping she would take a liking to gymnastics. I even enrolled her in gymnastics for a year or so at Cincinnati Gymnastics. It was never her thing though. We've since tried swimming and soccer....but what Sweetling is really excited about is this.
You go girl.
In other, other news, I had a great, great birthday this Tuesday. Bear pointed out that he thought fey creatures like myself don't age. We might not age. We certainly don't grow up. But we *do* have birthdays. Why? Cause birthdays are awesome excuses to have everything just the way we want it for a *whole* day. It's like a magic phrase. Merely utter "but it's my birthday" on calendar date for which it holds true, and reality itself shifts to your whim.
Sweetling assembled ingredients for the crock pot dinner for the day, then we went and picked up Smurf. Smurf treated us to an awesome Japanese restaurant called Mei for lunch. Then we went to the Krohn conservatory with cameras and sketch books and took pictures and did sketches for the entire afternoon. We left there and went to Sweetling's Tae Kwon Do lesson, which Smurf got a kick out of watching. (I'm so very clever). Dinner at home, which mother and of course the Jedi joined us for. We all played Cranium Cadoo...which like Cranium is basically an excuse to do silly things together. I opened presents (a pink pegasus Webkinz which I named Phoebe, a book of Akiane's art, and all seven seasons of Malcolm in the Middle episodes.) Then we had ice cream together. After Sweetling's bath, she helped me adopt Phoebe and showed me around the Webkinz world.
See, I told you reality shifts for me on my birthday :)
Second, I'm in total need of a mental break. Smurf needs one more though, so I can't complain too much.
Third....also called "In other news"
This is Sweetling's second week of Tae Kwon Do. When she was little, I have to confess I was really hoping she would take a liking to gymnastics. I even enrolled her in gymnastics for a year or so at Cincinnati Gymnastics. It was never her thing though. We've since tried swimming and soccer....but what Sweetling is really excited about is this.
You go girl.
In other, other news, I had a great, great birthday this Tuesday. Bear pointed out that he thought fey creatures like myself don't age. We might not age. We certainly don't grow up. But we *do* have birthdays. Why? Cause birthdays are awesome excuses to have everything just the way we want it for a *whole* day. It's like a magic phrase. Merely utter "but it's my birthday" on calendar date for which it holds true, and reality itself shifts to your whim.
Sweetling assembled ingredients for the crock pot dinner for the day, then we went and picked up Smurf. Smurf treated us to an awesome Japanese restaurant called Mei for lunch. Then we went to the Krohn conservatory with cameras and sketch books and took pictures and did sketches for the entire afternoon. We left there and went to Sweetling's Tae Kwon Do lesson, which Smurf got a kick out of watching. (I'm so very clever). Dinner at home, which mother and of course the Jedi joined us for. We all played Cranium Cadoo...which like Cranium is basically an excuse to do silly things together. I opened presents (a pink pegasus Webkinz which I named Phoebe, a book of Akiane's art, and all seven seasons of Malcolm in the Middle episodes.) Then we had ice cream together. After Sweetling's bath, she helped me adopt Phoebe and showed me around the Webkinz world.
See, I told you reality shifts for me on my birthday :)
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Mom's surgery
Mom's surgery was today and it went really well. They wound up being able to do everything without cutting her abdomen open. Smurf's staying in the hospital with her tonight. There's a chance that they'll send her home tomorrow (though I think that sounds rather soon).
I did nothing but sit in a hospital chair since 9 this morning, yet I'm totally exhausted. Hopefully I'll get a chance to get back to blogging in the next day or two. (Prolly more like two.)
Prayers for her recovery and prayers that the insurance all works out (yes, that is in question right now) would really be appreciated.
I did nothing but sit in a hospital chair since 9 this morning, yet I'm totally exhausted. Hopefully I'll get a chance to get back to blogging in the next day or two. (Prolly more like two.)
Prayers for her recovery and prayers that the insurance all works out (yes, that is in question right now) would really be appreciated.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
My turn
Gaming is cancelled for tomorrow night. Which makes that Friday night become a date night for me and the Jedi. On Fridays, after Sweetling goes to bed, we take turns picking what we want to do together. Tomorrow night its my turn. I really want to watch Firefly, but know he isn't going to go for that until we wrap up a series that we're already watching. So, something else. Hmmmm....
Today was such a much better day than yesterday. Yesterday, after I posted about the dishwasher, I decided to get the vacuuming done for the week. I don't *think* I sucked anything up with the vacuum cleaner, but it suddenly started making a horrible clicking noise. I only had the school room left to vacuum though, so I went ahead and tried to quickly vacuum the school room. I bumped the closet door (which was partly open) with the vacuum and knocked it off its track again. I don't remember what we had for dinner. It might have been leftovers because I didn't want to risk cooking. We were late for church. And my shoulder, which has been inexplicably sore recently was just plain hurting by that night. I took two motrin, but had a hard time sleeping because no matter how I laid, my shoulder throbbed in discomfort.
So, to sum up, yesterday was bad. Today was good.
Today, I got my freezer cleaned out, had a great day of school with Sweetling. We made moon craters by filling a cake pan with 8 cups of flour, sprinkling 1/4 cup of cocoa on top, and then dropping small balls and pebbles into the pan. Sweetling then measured the diameter and depth of the craters. It made a wonderfully awesome mess. And of course, a crater had to be made with the fist as well. While Sweetling changed her flour and cocoa covered clothes and washed her hands and feet (yes...she was that covered), I swept and mopped the kitchen floor for the third time this week. We did math brain teasers via email. I emailed Sweetling the problem, she sat at the computer in her bedroom and worked it out then emailed me her solution. While she did that, I found FIVE count them FIVE brand new crockpot recipes that I think all three of us will actually eat and enjoy. Yes, yes, this totally IS a major accomplishment. If you doubt me, I'm make you help me plan next month's dinner menus.
This afternoon, we left for the store at 3:40. I got three weeks worth of food for $180, including a couple of pricier meats. We got through the checkout and back home and had all the perishables put away AND fed Sweetling a quick snack AND STILL made it to Tae Kwan Do by 5:15. Of course, that's also because the Jedi showed up at 5 when we were just starting to unload groceries and totally saved the day. Sweetling is now signed up for six months of twice weekly lessons. She is extremely excited. I really liked the instructor, and her class was a small class, but had a range of ages and ability levels in it. (Including two little girls smaller than Sweetling who have a yellow and a red belt). The class ended with sparring. I don't know how typical that is of a kids martial arts class, but there it was. Sweetling is eager to try it. The Jedi was also all about her getting signed up. Mommy was wistfully remembering Cincinnati Gymnastics.
Now its 7:50. Sweetling's bath time is in ten minutes. I need to put the non-perishable groceries away, and I think I still have a load of whites in the dryer that need put away. I also have a day's worth of Breaking Free to read and respond to. (still on photocopied pages *sigh*). The Jedi is hooking a computer up in the living room that will run all the media electronic stuff through Windows Media.
He came home last night with the book America's Cheapest Family. Which, after I had broken everything we owned, seemed well timed. I had also spent a bit of the afternoon checking out cool online clothing just for fun. If I had the money to burn, I could drop hundreds of dollars into clothing every month. Hundreds. I don't. In fact, the last article of clothing I purchase were a pair of $8 brown cords at Steve & Berry's in January. Before that I dropped nearly ninety on a new bra. It was totally worth every penny of that money. So, online clothes browsing is truly window shopping in every sense of the word. I try to make Christopher Robin look at all the cool things I find, but she still hasn't gone for it. She did go bra shopping with me though, so that counts.
The dishwasher, by the way, worked just fine for the Jedi.
Today was such a much better day than yesterday. Yesterday, after I posted about the dishwasher, I decided to get the vacuuming done for the week. I don't *think* I sucked anything up with the vacuum cleaner, but it suddenly started making a horrible clicking noise. I only had the school room left to vacuum though, so I went ahead and tried to quickly vacuum the school room. I bumped the closet door (which was partly open) with the vacuum and knocked it off its track again. I don't remember what we had for dinner. It might have been leftovers because I didn't want to risk cooking. We were late for church. And my shoulder, which has been inexplicably sore recently was just plain hurting by that night. I took two motrin, but had a hard time sleeping because no matter how I laid, my shoulder throbbed in discomfort.
So, to sum up, yesterday was bad. Today was good.
Today, I got my freezer cleaned out, had a great day of school with Sweetling. We made moon craters by filling a cake pan with 8 cups of flour, sprinkling 1/4 cup of cocoa on top, and then dropping small balls and pebbles into the pan. Sweetling then measured the diameter and depth of the craters. It made a wonderfully awesome mess. And of course, a crater had to be made with the fist as well. While Sweetling changed her flour and cocoa covered clothes and washed her hands and feet (yes...she was that covered), I swept and mopped the kitchen floor for the third time this week. We did math brain teasers via email. I emailed Sweetling the problem, she sat at the computer in her bedroom and worked it out then emailed me her solution. While she did that, I found FIVE count them FIVE brand new crockpot recipes that I think all three of us will actually eat and enjoy. Yes, yes, this totally IS a major accomplishment. If you doubt me, I'm make you help me plan next month's dinner menus.
This afternoon, we left for the store at 3:40. I got three weeks worth of food for $180, including a couple of pricier meats. We got through the checkout and back home and had all the perishables put away AND fed Sweetling a quick snack AND STILL made it to Tae Kwan Do by 5:15. Of course, that's also because the Jedi showed up at 5 when we were just starting to unload groceries and totally saved the day. Sweetling is now signed up for six months of twice weekly lessons. She is extremely excited. I really liked the instructor, and her class was a small class, but had a range of ages and ability levels in it. (Including two little girls smaller than Sweetling who have a yellow and a red belt). The class ended with sparring. I don't know how typical that is of a kids martial arts class, but there it was. Sweetling is eager to try it. The Jedi was also all about her getting signed up. Mommy was wistfully remembering Cincinnati Gymnastics.
Now its 7:50. Sweetling's bath time is in ten minutes. I need to put the non-perishable groceries away, and I think I still have a load of whites in the dryer that need put away. I also have a day's worth of Breaking Free to read and respond to. (still on photocopied pages *sigh*). The Jedi is hooking a computer up in the living room that will run all the media electronic stuff through Windows Media.
He came home last night with the book America's Cheapest Family. Which, after I had broken everything we owned, seemed well timed. I had also spent a bit of the afternoon checking out cool online clothing just for fun. If I had the money to burn, I could drop hundreds of dollars into clothing every month. Hundreds. I don't. In fact, the last article of clothing I purchase were a pair of $8 brown cords at Steve & Berry's in January. Before that I dropped nearly ninety on a new bra. It was totally worth every penny of that money. So, online clothes browsing is truly window shopping in every sense of the word. I try to make Christopher Robin look at all the cool things I find, but she still hasn't gone for it. She did go bra shopping with me though, so that counts.
The dishwasher, by the way, worked just fine for the Jedi.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Talking Teeth and Broken Appliances
Sweetling is trying her best to put the tooth fairy out of business. She's lost and is growing in teeth that the dentist said doesn't usually happen till they are eleven. She's well past the teeth replacements that happen to the typical seven and eight year olds. For the last few months, every time I look at her, she has her hand in her mouth wiggling a tooth. This last tooth, an upper canine, has been loose for a while now. A long while. Sweetling, in exasperation, asked *when* was this tooth going to come out? This was not the first time the question had been asked. Having moved beyond the standard 'when its ready' responses, over the weekend, I told her that if she were really quiet, she could hear the tooth whispering to God about when it was going to be ready to come out. Now, don't judge me yet. In my defense, Sweetling is a bright eight year old, and could tell I was just kidding. But, we've been having fun with this. Now the game is, I have to lean very close to her mouth so that I can listen to what the tooth is saying and repeat it in a murmured little 'tooth' voice.
Yes. A tooth voice.
Sweetling thinks this is the funniest game in the world. She is amused and delighted and thrilled by this game. Last night teeth brushing went like this:
Sweetling: "Try to hear what my tooth is saying now."
Tooth: "I'm wiggling."
Sweetling: "Listen again."
Tooth: "I'm wiggling."
Sweetling: "Is it saying anything about when its going to come out?"
Tooth: "I'm love wiggling."
Then I had to listen to the tooth while she was rinsing out the toothpaste. Maybe the toothpaste rinse would bring the tooth to its senses.
Sweetling: "Mmmm?"
Tooth: "I'm wet."
Water went everywhere.
Sweetling: "Listen again."
Tooth: "I'm wet and cold."
More hysterics and spraying water.
Sweetling: "Sorry about the mirror, Mommy."
Today listening to the tooth resulted in "Sorry about the saliva in your hair, Mommy."
In other news, yesterday we had the oven repaired to the tune of $172. And we also had cable switched from lifeline (which we only had because it came with cable internet) to basic cable. This was done so that Sweetling and the Jedi could have access to more documentaries on the history channel, learning channel, discovery channel and so on.
Saturday I went to Christopher Robin's and the Bear's house for movie night. I should have said CR and the Bear. (Get it, get it? CJ and the Bear? I'm so clever.) Sweetling was excited, because Mommy's absence meant she and the Jedi got to hang out that night and watch Nova episodes on tape. They watched the first part of a two part thing, and watched the second part on Monday. Then they decided that Mommy should be a part of this family time on Monday night. So Sweetling came in to ask me what documentary I wanted to watch with them. Once Mommy got involved, we wound up watching "The Tick".
My laundry is caught up, my bathroom is clean. My dishes are put away....BUT...
see, I told you my stories always involved that conjunction.
After I had emptied the dishwasher, I noticed a great deal of water still in the bottom of the dishwasher. I checked the dial, and its gone all the way through its little cycle. I'm pretty sure it doesn't usually have water in it, cause occasionally I have to retreave plastic lids and spoons that have made there way down there to die. So, being the mechanically inclined person that I am, I slid my fingers around the base of the big round thing. I found a paper label that had wedged itself down there and got that out. I slid my fingers around again, and this little doo-hicky came out. It looks like...well... remeber the little stoppers in squirt guns? It looks like a tiny one of those. I slid my fingers around again, cause the water was still there, and I found two more doo-hickies. They didn't seem to be attached to anything, they were just wedged down there. I don't know if they were supposed to be there, or if they came off something else. So, now my sink has a few dirty dishes in it, my dishwasher has two inches of water in it, and I have three doo-hickies lined up on my kitchen counter.
Last week I broke the closet door in the school room. The Jedi fixed it, and never said a word. I'm thinking he might not be too pleased with my doo-hicky story though. I'm contemplating running the dishwasher through a quick cycle before he comes home just to see what will happen. Maybe all the water will drain out after all.
Maybe I'll just go back to listening to teeth.
Yes. A tooth voice.
Sweetling thinks this is the funniest game in the world. She is amused and delighted and thrilled by this game. Last night teeth brushing went like this:
Sweetling: "Try to hear what my tooth is saying now."
Tooth: "I'm wiggling."
Sweetling: "Listen again."
Tooth: "I'm wiggling."
Sweetling: "Is it saying anything about when its going to come out?"
Tooth: "I'm love wiggling."
Then I had to listen to the tooth while she was rinsing out the toothpaste. Maybe the toothpaste rinse would bring the tooth to its senses.
Sweetling: "Mmmm?"
Tooth: "I'm wet."
Water went everywhere.
Sweetling: "Listen again."
Tooth: "I'm wet and cold."
More hysterics and spraying water.
Sweetling: "Sorry about the mirror, Mommy."
Today listening to the tooth resulted in "Sorry about the saliva in your hair, Mommy."
In other news, yesterday we had the oven repaired to the tune of $172. And we also had cable switched from lifeline (which we only had because it came with cable internet) to basic cable. This was done so that Sweetling and the Jedi could have access to more documentaries on the history channel, learning channel, discovery channel and so on.
Saturday I went to Christopher Robin's and the Bear's house for movie night. I should have said CR and the Bear. (Get it, get it? CJ and the Bear? I'm so clever.) Sweetling was excited, because Mommy's absence meant she and the Jedi got to hang out that night and watch Nova episodes on tape. They watched the first part of a two part thing, and watched the second part on Monday. Then they decided that Mommy should be a part of this family time on Monday night. So Sweetling came in to ask me what documentary I wanted to watch with them. Once Mommy got involved, we wound up watching "The Tick".
My laundry is caught up, my bathroom is clean. My dishes are put away....BUT...
see, I told you my stories always involved that conjunction.
After I had emptied the dishwasher, I noticed a great deal of water still in the bottom of the dishwasher. I checked the dial, and its gone all the way through its little cycle. I'm pretty sure it doesn't usually have water in it, cause occasionally I have to retreave plastic lids and spoons that have made there way down there to die. So, being the mechanically inclined person that I am, I slid my fingers around the base of the big round thing. I found a paper label that had wedged itself down there and got that out. I slid my fingers around again, and this little doo-hicky came out. It looks like...well... remeber the little stoppers in squirt guns? It looks like a tiny one of those. I slid my fingers around again, cause the water was still there, and I found two more doo-hickies. They didn't seem to be attached to anything, they were just wedged down there. I don't know if they were supposed to be there, or if they came off something else. So, now my sink has a few dirty dishes in it, my dishwasher has two inches of water in it, and I have three doo-hickies lined up on my kitchen counter.
Last week I broke the closet door in the school room. The Jedi fixed it, and never said a word. I'm thinking he might not be too pleased with my doo-hicky story though. I'm contemplating running the dishwasher through a quick cycle before he comes home just to see what will happen. Maybe all the water will drain out after all.
Maybe I'll just go back to listening to teeth.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Just like college
Or high school either for that matter. On Wednesdays, I have a women's bible study and prayer group that I attend. We take turns watching little ones in the nursery so that the rest of us can meet together and do a Bible study and have a prayer circle. I really really really appreciate this in the middle of my week. Its my sanity break. This spring we're doing a Beth Moore study called "Breaking Free". Now, Beth Moore is a wonderful speaker and author. This study has a video segment that goes with it each week, that we watch and discuss together. And it has a workbook with five days worth of homework....which is often material I find very interesting and insightful.
But.
You know its a true me story when the conjuction "but" enters the tale.
When we first decided to do this study, no.... let me back that up. When the workbooks were first available for this study, we had already overspent in the month and I decided to be financially responsible and wait until March to get a workbook. We weren't starting the study till March (since we had a couple of snowdays in February...or maybe we started on the last wednesday of February. If you really need to know, I guess you could pull out a calendar. If Feb 28th is a wednesday, that's when we started.)
So, I waited until the start of the class to get the workbook. And...guess what? The workbooks were sold out. The bookstore said they expected a shipment in on April 1st. I said, you meant March 1st, right? No. No. They meant April 1st. But, I could, they told me, place and individual order for a book, since those often shipped before the big group shipment. Fine. I did that.
Now, I didn't ask for the first week of the workbook to be photocopied for me. I think I was pouting instead. I did ask for the second week to be photocopied, and one of the women in the group did that and gave it to me. I, of course, didn't do it. Why? Not because I wasn't interested...but because I kept waiting, hoping that MY workbook would come in and that I could do the assignments in my workbook rather than on the photocopied pages.
It didn't come in.
So, now, it Tuesday. I've done three days of the five days during the course of the day. I have two more days to do. And I'm having flashbacks to all my years of schooling. Of course, I started it this morning instead of at bedtime or midnight....so I guess in that respect its different from my high school and college days.
Now, I could have taken this opportunity to share with you some of the really neat insights that are in the workbook so far...but I didn't. I'm not sure what that says. I think it says that I didn't really internalize any of the really cool insights.
Or it says, I just spent all day on the really cool insights, and can't possibly sum them all up. I will leave you with the coolest one though. End of Day two's session (which I wrapped up during lunch.)
The day begins with Isaiah 43:7 "Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." The day is spent studying what does it mean 'created for his glory'? What does 'glory' mean in different contexts and scriptures in the Bible? But...here's the coolest part. The day concludes with John 17:9-10...where Jesus is praying to the Father at the last supper "I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them." Beth Moore writes "In this context, Christ used the word glory to indicate wealth and riches He had received. No matter where you are on this journey to the glorifying, liberated life in Chirst, you are His treasure."
And finally, there is a space at the end of each day to write either a prayer, or a response, or a summation of what was revealed through that day's study. Here is what I wrote, as if I could hear the Father speaking to me...
But.
You know its a true me story when the conjuction "but" enters the tale.
When we first decided to do this study, no.... let me back that up. When the workbooks were first available for this study, we had already overspent in the month and I decided to be financially responsible and wait until March to get a workbook. We weren't starting the study till March (since we had a couple of snowdays in February...or maybe we started on the last wednesday of February. If you really need to know, I guess you could pull out a calendar. If Feb 28th is a wednesday, that's when we started.)
So, I waited until the start of the class to get the workbook. And...guess what? The workbooks were sold out. The bookstore said they expected a shipment in on April 1st. I said, you meant March 1st, right? No. No. They meant April 1st. But, I could, they told me, place and individual order for a book, since those often shipped before the big group shipment. Fine. I did that.
Now, I didn't ask for the first week of the workbook to be photocopied for me. I think I was pouting instead. I did ask for the second week to be photocopied, and one of the women in the group did that and gave it to me. I, of course, didn't do it. Why? Not because I wasn't interested...but because I kept waiting, hoping that MY workbook would come in and that I could do the assignments in my workbook rather than on the photocopied pages.
It didn't come in.
So, now, it Tuesday. I've done three days of the five days during the course of the day. I have two more days to do. And I'm having flashbacks to all my years of schooling. Of course, I started it this morning instead of at bedtime or midnight....so I guess in that respect its different from my high school and college days.
Now, I could have taken this opportunity to share with you some of the really neat insights that are in the workbook so far...but I didn't. I'm not sure what that says. I think it says that I didn't really internalize any of the really cool insights.
Or it says, I just spent all day on the really cool insights, and can't possibly sum them all up. I will leave you with the coolest one though. End of Day two's session (which I wrapped up during lunch.)
The day begins with Isaiah 43:7 "Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." The day is spent studying what does it mean 'created for his glory'? What does 'glory' mean in different contexts and scriptures in the Bible? But...here's the coolest part. The day concludes with John 17:9-10...where Jesus is praying to the Father at the last supper "I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them." Beth Moore writes "In this context, Christ used the word glory to indicate wealth and riches He had received. No matter where you are on this journey to the glorifying, liberated life in Chirst, you are His treasure."
And finally, there is a space at the end of each day to write either a prayer, or a response, or a summation of what was revealed through that day's study. Here is what I wrote, as if I could hear the Father speaking to me...
"Be still, little one. You are my beautiful one. My treasure. My lovely one. I delight in you. Be still. Do not be anxious or afraid. Let me lead. Take my hand and trust in me."
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Blame Smurf
My newfound goal of blogging all the cool things that happened last week a bit at a time is out the window. Whose fault is this? Not mine. That would imply taking responsibility for my choices.
I spent the afternoon, and a portion of the evening on meez. So this is the picture that Smurf sent me that was the bait. Its Fawn.
The rest of the afternoon was spent recreating various rp characters as creepy little 3d dolls.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Panda Garden
We didn't have pineapple pancakes. The Jedi showed up with dinner from Panda Garden. This deserved it's own entry.
Expanded Updates
I slept soundly from 10:30 last night till 8:30 this morning, and I could have slept another hour or two at least. I could have also taken a nap this afternoon. But I didn't. I have 30 minutes now while Sweetling is watching Cyberchase. I could either clean the bathroom, clean the schoolroom, or put away laundry. I'm doing none of those things. I'm blogging. I'll start at the top of my list from last week, and work my way down to see how much I get written.
Sweetling was in a science fair. We homeschool (sort of, technically, we're part of OHVA.) We participated in a regional science fair with other OHVA families. The Jedi says there were about 25 children in the fair, I would have guessed 40...so I'll compromise and go with 30. Now, I aslo have to confess that I am a science fair junkie. I could show up at school science fairs where I didn't even know any children and just wander around looking at science projects and I'd be a happy person. When Sweetling wanted to enter the science fair, it took a very conscious, deliberate effort on my part not to micromanage or, worse yet, want to offer lots of suggestions for how she "should" do her project. But I was a very very good mother, and left her totally alone on the project. She devised it, she named it, she conducted the experiment, she wrote up her report, she wrote up her experiment, she put together her labels and her display board totally on her own. Mommy kept her nose OUT of the project. It took a lot of will power, but I stayed out. And, when we went to set up, many elementary projects had that smoothed, polished, parents helped me put this together feel. Not ours. Ours had crooked lablels, jagged corners, and other minor touches that demonstrated that a third grader had done it independently. And Sweetling was oh so nervous.
So nervous, in fact, that at home, she decided she needed to practice her oral presentation in a room by herself before she could give her oral presentation to her doll babies. You see, science fair projects are judged. The parents are all asked to leave the room. The students stay with their projects and each student must speak to two judges. The student presents and explains her experiment, and then must be preparred to answer questions the judges might ask. Sweetling was quite nervous about this.
I waited in the cold sanctuary of the local church who had agreed to let the virtual school use its facility to host the science fair. I read for a while till the Jedi got off work and got up to the fair. Sweetling and I had arrived at 3:30. The judging started slightly after 4. The parents weren't admitted back into the room until just before 6. (OHVA treated all the families to pizza). Vaya and the Gentle Giant showed up...and I dragged Vaya around the room with me to look at the projects. Mind you, I had already made TWO circles of the room with all its tables and displays...once before the judging, once with the Jedi, and now with Vaya.
There was a kindergartener with a project titled "How does steam make a boat go?" His display included a 'paddle' made from a tin can suspended in a tub formed from a hollowed pineapple half with little plastic pirate figures standing guard. I thought the pirates were a nice touch. There was another kindergartener with "Do roots always grow down?" Her display was perfectly mounted photos of her in various stages of her experiment (which involved sprouting seeds on wet paper towels inside of petri dishes affixed to the window pane. After a certain number of days, she rotated the petri dishes to see if the roots, that now faced up, would turn themselves back down). There was a 4th/5th grader with a project to determine if cats were right or left 'pawed'. She designed three different tests to see if a cat would reach for an object and show a preference for its right or left paw. In addition to her own two cats, she contacted her vets office, and they let her test cats that lived in the office (and some of their employees brought in their own pets for her to test as well.) Of course, a few of the cats failed the jar test when they stuck their heads in the jar to reach the bait rather than reaching in with a paw to pull it out.
Another 4th/5th grader had a "Collecting CO2" project. S/he had a homerigged set up to catch CO2 given off in "kitchen chemistry" reactions. S/he tested the CO2 with limewater to see which set up and "kitchen chemistry" reaction would yield most CO2 collected. Another 4th/5th grader had a project on the effects of acid rain on plants. A 6th-8th grader had a "What's the Hype about Hydrogen" project. He built his own small hydrogen solor cell. I didn't follow this project that well. It was a bit techical for me. Another 6th-8th grader had a project comparing the taste of 'healthier' chocolate chip cookies to standard chocolate chips cookies. I personally thought this one should come with samples for the audience. A 9th-12th grader had a project testing the presence of different minerals in soil and its effects on corn growth. His credits included "I would like to thank my dad for driving me, in a blizzard, to pick up my soil testing kits."
Now, the projects don't really compete against each other. Each project is evaluated by two different judges. Each judge rates each project on a scale from 1-10 in several different categories (and adds any personal comments at the bottom of the sheet.) The catergories are totalled, and the totals for the two judges are averaged. A project with a score of 90-100 receives a superior rating and a blue ribbon. A project with 89-70 points is rated "excellent" and receives either a red or yellow ribbon, depending on the fair...I've seen both. And 69 or less gets a "good" or an "honorable mention" which is almost always printed on a white ribbon. But, more than one project in each age category can receive a blue ribbon....or none can. There is no "first place" or "best in show".
Sweetling's project? She did "Operation Chromotography"....which I believe I've just misspelled. I'll have to get her permission to post her report and experiment write up. She tested the effects of different solvents on three different types of markers to see which produced the best spread of ink. And she, as previously mentioned, was one of only a few to receive a superior rating. And she did it all by herself. No perfect display, no Mommy coaching, no adult revisions of the process or the writing. I'm so so proud of her.
Now, the second thing I like about science fair is the families. There was an 18 month old in a fuzzy yellow shirt and striped leggings that would have made Houdini proud. Every time I glanced around, she was in a different part of the large room, zigging around adult legs with mother or an older sibling trying to catch up with her. At one point, I was standing in the doorway of the room, because Sweetling was in the lobby watching a chess game being played (she got an invitation to join a student chess club), and a streak of yellow at my knees caught my eye as the Houdini child went trotting out of the room....mother just a few paces behind her. Another mother wore this stipped...wrap? I'm not even sure what its called. It was lont and cotton and went across her body twice, from her shoulder to the hips, around her waist and back up to her shoulder. It was secure enough to keep an infant snug against her chest, flexible enough to be quickly rearranged when she sat to nurse the baby, and long enough that two young sons could hold on to the ends of it for security when mom was walking through the crowded room. I think it was one of her older boys that did the CO2 experiment.
Ack! Its 5 o'clock....I have to do dinner. Pineapple pancakes tonight. Mmmmm.
Sweetling was in a science fair. We homeschool (sort of, technically, we're part of OHVA.) We participated in a regional science fair with other OHVA families. The Jedi says there were about 25 children in the fair, I would have guessed 40...so I'll compromise and go with 30. Now, I aslo have to confess that I am a science fair junkie. I could show up at school science fairs where I didn't even know any children and just wander around looking at science projects and I'd be a happy person. When Sweetling wanted to enter the science fair, it took a very conscious, deliberate effort on my part not to micromanage or, worse yet, want to offer lots of suggestions for how she "should" do her project. But I was a very very good mother, and left her totally alone on the project. She devised it, she named it, she conducted the experiment, she wrote up her report, she wrote up her experiment, she put together her labels and her display board totally on her own. Mommy kept her nose OUT of the project. It took a lot of will power, but I stayed out. And, when we went to set up, many elementary projects had that smoothed, polished, parents helped me put this together feel. Not ours. Ours had crooked lablels, jagged corners, and other minor touches that demonstrated that a third grader had done it independently. And Sweetling was oh so nervous.
So nervous, in fact, that at home, she decided she needed to practice her oral presentation in a room by herself before she could give her oral presentation to her doll babies. You see, science fair projects are judged. The parents are all asked to leave the room. The students stay with their projects and each student must speak to two judges. The student presents and explains her experiment, and then must be preparred to answer questions the judges might ask. Sweetling was quite nervous about this.
I waited in the cold sanctuary of the local church who had agreed to let the virtual school use its facility to host the science fair. I read for a while till the Jedi got off work and got up to the fair. Sweetling and I had arrived at 3:30. The judging started slightly after 4. The parents weren't admitted back into the room until just before 6. (OHVA treated all the families to pizza). Vaya and the Gentle Giant showed up...and I dragged Vaya around the room with me to look at the projects. Mind you, I had already made TWO circles of the room with all its tables and displays...once before the judging, once with the Jedi, and now with Vaya.
There was a kindergartener with a project titled "How does steam make a boat go?" His display included a 'paddle' made from a tin can suspended in a tub formed from a hollowed pineapple half with little plastic pirate figures standing guard. I thought the pirates were a nice touch. There was another kindergartener with "Do roots always grow down?" Her display was perfectly mounted photos of her in various stages of her experiment (which involved sprouting seeds on wet paper towels inside of petri dishes affixed to the window pane. After a certain number of days, she rotated the petri dishes to see if the roots, that now faced up, would turn themselves back down). There was a 4th/5th grader with a project to determine if cats were right or left 'pawed'. She designed three different tests to see if a cat would reach for an object and show a preference for its right or left paw. In addition to her own two cats, she contacted her vets office, and they let her test cats that lived in the office (and some of their employees brought in their own pets for her to test as well.) Of course, a few of the cats failed the jar test when they stuck their heads in the jar to reach the bait rather than reaching in with a paw to pull it out.
Another 4th/5th grader had a "Collecting CO2" project. S/he had a homerigged set up to catch CO2 given off in "kitchen chemistry" reactions. S/he tested the CO2 with limewater to see which set up and "kitchen chemistry" reaction would yield most CO2 collected. Another 4th/5th grader had a project on the effects of acid rain on plants. A 6th-8th grader had a "What's the Hype about Hydrogen" project. He built his own small hydrogen solor cell. I didn't follow this project that well. It was a bit techical for me. Another 6th-8th grader had a project comparing the taste of 'healthier' chocolate chip cookies to standard chocolate chips cookies. I personally thought this one should come with samples for the audience. A 9th-12th grader had a project testing the presence of different minerals in soil and its effects on corn growth. His credits included "I would like to thank my dad for driving me, in a blizzard, to pick up my soil testing kits."
Now, the projects don't really compete against each other. Each project is evaluated by two different judges. Each judge rates each project on a scale from 1-10 in several different categories (and adds any personal comments at the bottom of the sheet.) The catergories are totalled, and the totals for the two judges are averaged. A project with a score of 90-100 receives a superior rating and a blue ribbon. A project with 89-70 points is rated "excellent" and receives either a red or yellow ribbon, depending on the fair...I've seen both. And 69 or less gets a "good" or an "honorable mention" which is almost always printed on a white ribbon. But, more than one project in each age category can receive a blue ribbon....or none can. There is no "first place" or "best in show".
Sweetling's project? She did "Operation Chromotography"....which I believe I've just misspelled. I'll have to get her permission to post her report and experiment write up. She tested the effects of different solvents on three different types of markers to see which produced the best spread of ink. And she, as previously mentioned, was one of only a few to receive a superior rating. And she did it all by herself. No perfect display, no Mommy coaching, no adult revisions of the process or the writing. I'm so so proud of her.
Now, the second thing I like about science fair is the families. There was an 18 month old in a fuzzy yellow shirt and striped leggings that would have made Houdini proud. Every time I glanced around, she was in a different part of the large room, zigging around adult legs with mother or an older sibling trying to catch up with her. At one point, I was standing in the doorway of the room, because Sweetling was in the lobby watching a chess game being played (she got an invitation to join a student chess club), and a streak of yellow at my knees caught my eye as the Houdini child went trotting out of the room....mother just a few paces behind her. Another mother wore this stipped...wrap? I'm not even sure what its called. It was lont and cotton and went across her body twice, from her shoulder to the hips, around her waist and back up to her shoulder. It was secure enough to keep an infant snug against her chest, flexible enough to be quickly rearranged when she sat to nurse the baby, and long enough that two young sons could hold on to the ends of it for security when mom was walking through the crowded room. I think it was one of her older boys that did the CO2 experiment.
Ack! Its 5 o'clock....I have to do dinner. Pineapple pancakes tonight. Mmmmm.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Updates
We're very very busy and we have so much to do...
Quick list of topics I'd love to come back and write more about when I'm not exhausted.
--Thursday: Science fair, projects, cool families, mom that did attachment parenting, chess club, Sweetling's "superior" rating (blue ribbon)
--Friday. I had one. It fleeted past. But I was happy to see it. ah...bird feeders, squirrel feeders, enrichment devices
--Saturday. What did I do on Saturday? Oh, Amazing Grace movie. Go see it. I went with the Jedi. He made the arrangements for childcare for Sweetling. This is getting to be more than a list. Maple syrup. Area building. Bunny parties. Frog Hair.
--Sunday. Elephants. Missions weekend. Sweetling's voice. Devotions journal.
--Monday. AHG. I'm sure there were other things in my life that day. OH! letter about Energy from NiceLady. AND----mother's last biopsies all came back cancer free! (thanks everyone for all your prayers and thoughts and encouraging comments.) Also Renaissance Dresses.
--Tuesday. Mother's surgery delayed. IHOP. Schooling. School room. Photos. Tenebrae. Dance.
Now, after the lovely compliment that Maven paid me about my writing, I'm leaving you all with this crappy list. Why? Because. Doesn't that just stink as an answer? Here are the real reasons--I'm tired. I can't pick just one topic and I do have something to say about all of them. I go through my days sometimes and think, oooo, I'd love to blog about that. But somewhere between the thought and the blog, life interrupts. So, maybe through the week I'll blog about a few of those topics. Maybe. For now, I feel better just jotting them all down.
Quick list of topics I'd love to come back and write more about when I'm not exhausted.
--Thursday: Science fair, projects, cool families, mom that did attachment parenting, chess club, Sweetling's "superior" rating (blue ribbon)
--Friday. I had one. It fleeted past. But I was happy to see it. ah...bird feeders, squirrel feeders, enrichment devices
--Saturday. What did I do on Saturday? Oh, Amazing Grace movie. Go see it. I went with the Jedi. He made the arrangements for childcare for Sweetling. This is getting to be more than a list. Maple syrup. Area building. Bunny parties. Frog Hair.
--Sunday. Elephants. Missions weekend. Sweetling's voice. Devotions journal.
--Monday. AHG. I'm sure there were other things in my life that day. OH! letter about Energy from NiceLady. AND----mother's last biopsies all came back cancer free! (thanks everyone for all your prayers and thoughts and encouraging comments.) Also Renaissance Dresses.
--Tuesday. Mother's surgery delayed. IHOP. Schooling. School room. Photos. Tenebrae. Dance.
Now, after the lovely compliment that Maven paid me about my writing, I'm leaving you all with this crappy list. Why? Because. Doesn't that just stink as an answer? Here are the real reasons--I'm tired. I can't pick just one topic and I do have something to say about all of them. I go through my days sometimes and think, oooo, I'd love to blog about that. But somewhere between the thought and the blog, life interrupts. So, maybe through the week I'll blog about a few of those topics. Maybe. For now, I feel better just jotting them all down.
Monday, February 19, 2007
The Seagull
I have to confess I went to bed Friday night a little put out with God. My prayers that night were less of a "our father" nature and more of a "I really didn't think one seagull was too much to ask," whiney nature. And ask any of my close friends, they'll tell you that I have perfected the art of whining. Well, maybe not 'perfected' since that implies a degree of pleasantness, but I'm skilled at it.
I talked to Mother on Friday night around 8:30. She had just gotten out of class and was excited because she had gotten her first paper back with an A and all the grading categories marked as 'excellent'. I asked her how she was feeling, since after her biopsies that morning she had gone home to lay down because she was feeling it. After establishing that she was feeling well, and after chatting with her for a while, I tried to nonchalantly ask if she had seen a seagull that day. Now, mother is wise to my ways. She said that she hadn't, but immediately insisted that she had been surrounded that morning by an overwhelming sense of joy and peace and could tell that I had been praying for her. She went on to insist that she wouldn't have noticed a seagull unless it had landed on the hood of her car. I encouraged her. Told her that was wonderful. Was thrilled for her paper. Was glad she was feeling better. Was delighted that she was calm on the way to the doctor's office (she had called me that morning really worried. I offered to go with her, but she declined. Maybe I should have insisted.)
I got off the phone, and immediately started this inner dialogue with God over this lack of seagull issue. I pointed out that I hadn't even asked for a real live seagull, a poster, a picture in a magazine in the waiting room, something on the wall of her school, a billboard, the side of a Uhaul truck. Any image of a seagull would have sufficed. But recalling mother's comment about the seagull on the hood of her car, I realized, very cleverly, that obviously God had a better plan in mind. Surely, what he was going to do, was have mother walk out of her trip to the bank Saturday morning to find, in fact, a seagull on the car. (No, he wouldn't poop. This is a divine messenger seagull. They don't poop on the cars of the chosen.) So, I decided to leave the issue at rest, letting the Almighty's oversight alone for now, as long as he sent a real seagull to land on the car the next day. The still quiet voice tried to ask me....just who was this seagull *for* at this point? Mother? or me? Wasn't the peace and comfort he sent what she had really needed that morning? But I was too caugth up in the seagull issue to pay attention.
Saturday morning. I had a dance practice from 9-11. On the way to dance I entered into another discussion with God about the whole issue of seagulls, answered prayers, and trust. This time, since I was alone in the car, my half of the dialogue, or at least parts of it was aloud. Again, the question of, who was this seagull for? came up. And, wasn't the answer of peace and joy more than I had prayed for? And, yes, I was confident that mother's health was going to be all right, but was that because my trust was in God? or was my trust in the doctors and the medical proceedings? (To which, I answered something about a seagull not showing up).
All day Saturday I went back and forth with God on this one. Saturday night was Gospelfest (our church hosts an evening for area choirs and performers to present a few pieces and we have a pretty good community turn out). Our dance ministry presented "Angels Watching Over Me" (not the Amy grant version, totally differents song). Sunday morning I 'read' Acts 16:25-34. (which means I memorized it and did a dramatic reading of it). I prayed my way through a lot of the worship songs.
So, I wrote all of what you just read up there on Monday. And then I got stuck. Its Thursday, and I still haven't figured out how to explain what changed or why it changed. But changed it did. Sometime on Sunday. I was over the seagull issue. I was able to realize, finally, that this was about Mother getting what she needed. I also realized a few other things, about myself, affirming things, good things. Things that I can't quite articulate just now. Or that I can't concisely articulate. About trust and about faith and about 'fruit'. It also helped that I had a slew of people praising me for the scripture reading. Not that I'm a bit conceited from time to time or anything.
Sunday night I went to bed, and could have cared less about seagulls.
Monday I slept in, due to being up at three with a Sweetling with a cold. (For some reason, I really thought the whole 'up in the middle of the night phase' went away after the frist couple years.) But Monday immediately announced itself as a 'spin your wheels stuck in the mud no matter how much effort you put forth' sort of day. I told Sweetling I wanted us to leave for the grocery store at 10 am. It was 11:30 before we actually left. In that hour and a half, I don't even know what I did....laundry? housework? Nothing fun on the computer. And certainly nothing that made a dent in the state of my house or in the impossibly long 'to-do' list that HAD to be addressed that day. In short, Monday was quickly looking like it was going to be a crappy, frustrating, disgusting day full of unmet obligations, failed efforts, and mediocre accomplishments. (Yes, Smurf, I'm leaving that word misspelled just for you. I know how fragile your self-esteen is, and how important it is to maintaining your self-esteem for you to oh so cheerfully point out my faults).
Monday, 11:30 and we're finally on our way to the grocery store. Its not cold, but its not warm. The snow is beginning to become slush. All the parking spaces are really just slushy wading pools. Nevertheless, I pull into one of these lovely spots, pop the van into park....
And there's the seagull.
Just one seagull, circling low over the parking lot,clear and large and perfectly framed in the windshield of my van. I scream, "There's the seagull!!!!!" Sweetling starts asking, where where? Even though she has no clue why Mommy is so spastically excited about this. But the seagull only made one small circle, just enough for me to see him. By the time Susan unbuckled and jumped forward, he was already winging away across the street. I tried to point out his dwindling form, but he was making quick time into the distance. Within what seemed like seconds he had dissappeared. And I just sat there stunned.
I talked to Mother on Friday night around 8:30. She had just gotten out of class and was excited because she had gotten her first paper back with an A and all the grading categories marked as 'excellent'. I asked her how she was feeling, since after her biopsies that morning she had gone home to lay down because she was feeling it. After establishing that she was feeling well, and after chatting with her for a while, I tried to nonchalantly ask if she had seen a seagull that day. Now, mother is wise to my ways. She said that she hadn't, but immediately insisted that she had been surrounded that morning by an overwhelming sense of joy and peace and could tell that I had been praying for her. She went on to insist that she wouldn't have noticed a seagull unless it had landed on the hood of her car. I encouraged her. Told her that was wonderful. Was thrilled for her paper. Was glad she was feeling better. Was delighted that she was calm on the way to the doctor's office (she had called me that morning really worried. I offered to go with her, but she declined. Maybe I should have insisted.)
I got off the phone, and immediately started this inner dialogue with God over this lack of seagull issue. I pointed out that I hadn't even asked for a real live seagull, a poster, a picture in a magazine in the waiting room, something on the wall of her school, a billboard, the side of a Uhaul truck. Any image of a seagull would have sufficed. But recalling mother's comment about the seagull on the hood of her car, I realized, very cleverly, that obviously God had a better plan in mind. Surely, what he was going to do, was have mother walk out of her trip to the bank Saturday morning to find, in fact, a seagull on the car. (No, he wouldn't poop. This is a divine messenger seagull. They don't poop on the cars of the chosen.) So, I decided to leave the issue at rest, letting the Almighty's oversight alone for now, as long as he sent a real seagull to land on the car the next day. The still quiet voice tried to ask me....just who was this seagull *for* at this point? Mother? or me? Wasn't the peace and comfort he sent what she had really needed that morning? But I was too caugth up in the seagull issue to pay attention.
Saturday morning. I had a dance practice from 9-11. On the way to dance I entered into another discussion with God about the whole issue of seagulls, answered prayers, and trust. This time, since I was alone in the car, my half of the dialogue, or at least parts of it was aloud. Again, the question of, who was this seagull for? came up. And, wasn't the answer of peace and joy more than I had prayed for? And, yes, I was confident that mother's health was going to be all right, but was that because my trust was in God? or was my trust in the doctors and the medical proceedings? (To which, I answered something about a seagull not showing up).
All day Saturday I went back and forth with God on this one. Saturday night was Gospelfest (our church hosts an evening for area choirs and performers to present a few pieces and we have a pretty good community turn out). Our dance ministry presented "Angels Watching Over Me" (not the Amy grant version, totally differents song). Sunday morning I 'read' Acts 16:25-34. (which means I memorized it and did a dramatic reading of it). I prayed my way through a lot of the worship songs.
So, I wrote all of what you just read up there on Monday. And then I got stuck. Its Thursday, and I still haven't figured out how to explain what changed or why it changed. But changed it did. Sometime on Sunday. I was over the seagull issue. I was able to realize, finally, that this was about Mother getting what she needed. I also realized a few other things, about myself, affirming things, good things. Things that I can't quite articulate just now. Or that I can't concisely articulate. About trust and about faith and about 'fruit'. It also helped that I had a slew of people praising me for the scripture reading. Not that I'm a bit conceited from time to time or anything.
Sunday night I went to bed, and could have cared less about seagulls.
Monday I slept in, due to being up at three with a Sweetling with a cold. (For some reason, I really thought the whole 'up in the middle of the night phase' went away after the frist couple years.) But Monday immediately announced itself as a 'spin your wheels stuck in the mud no matter how much effort you put forth' sort of day. I told Sweetling I wanted us to leave for the grocery store at 10 am. It was 11:30 before we actually left. In that hour and a half, I don't even know what I did....laundry? housework? Nothing fun on the computer. And certainly nothing that made a dent in the state of my house or in the impossibly long 'to-do' list that HAD to be addressed that day. In short, Monday was quickly looking like it was going to be a crappy, frustrating, disgusting day full of unmet obligations, failed efforts, and mediocre accomplishments. (Yes, Smurf, I'm leaving that word misspelled just for you. I know how fragile your self-esteen is, and how important it is to maintaining your self-esteem for you to oh so cheerfully point out my faults).
Monday, 11:30 and we're finally on our way to the grocery store. Its not cold, but its not warm. The snow is beginning to become slush. All the parking spaces are really just slushy wading pools. Nevertheless, I pull into one of these lovely spots, pop the van into park....
And there's the seagull.
Just one seagull, circling low over the parking lot,clear and large and perfectly framed in the windshield of my van. I scream, "There's the seagull!!!!!" Sweetling starts asking, where where? Even though she has no clue why Mommy is so spastically excited about this. But the seagull only made one small circle, just enough for me to see him. By the time Susan unbuckled and jumped forward, he was already winging away across the street. I tried to point out his dwindling form, but he was making quick time into the distance. Within what seemed like seconds he had dissappeared. And I just sat there stunned.
Friday, February 16, 2007
The C word
Now, the nurse said precancerous. The American Cancer Society says "Only some women with pre-cancerous changes of the cervix will develop cancer. This process usually takes several years but sometimes can happen in less than a year. For most women, pre-cancerous cells will remain unchanged and go away without any treatment. But if these precancers are treated, almost all true cancers can be prevented."
They took some biopsies today, which will yield some more specific info...in about a week. But, reading through some of the ACS information, it sound like this is in an early enough stage, even if its passed from precancerous to cancer, that the only treatment that will be needed is the hysterectomy...which is already scheduled.
Not that I'm not concerned, but I think everything has been caught early enough that this isn't devastating, traumatic news. They'll do a hysterectomy, they'll schedule her in for regular follow up appointments to keep on top of everything. It's something thats under control.
They took some biopsies today, which will yield some more specific info...in about a week. But, reading through some of the ACS information, it sound like this is in an early enough stage, even if its passed from precancerous to cancer, that the only treatment that will be needed is the hysterectomy...which is already scheduled.
Not that I'm not concerned, but I think everything has been caught early enough that this isn't devastating, traumatic news. They'll do a hysterectomy, they'll schedule her in for regular follow up appointments to keep on top of everything. It's something thats under control.
"It's a God thing"
We received an email yesterday from a woman who had worked in the home where E is for Energy lives in Guatemala. She had worked there for a year as a teacher. She said she loved Energy very much. He was just the light of her world while she was there. She knew that E is for Energy was being adopted, but the directors of the home wouldn't give out personal information on who was adopting him. She wanted to know, because Energy meant so much to her, she wanted to get in touch with the family who was adopting him. She came back state side in Novemeber. She did an internet search with Energy's first name and the word adoption, and was able to find the missions web page for our church. Our church sets up special accounts for certain projects so that people can contribute to a particular project and their donation is earmarked just for that fund and doesn't go into the church's general funds. An account like that was set up for us to help fund the costs of Energy's adoption. So, that's the page she found. She emailed the church secretary, who called the Jedi and with the Jedi's approval, forwarded the email to us.
We emailed her back last night and asked if we could call her. She promptly emailed a reply which said call her anytime, so we did. Right then and there. The Jedi was much more pumped about speaking to her than I was. I think partly because I'm really emotionally weary with how long this has gone on. On a subconsious level, hearing first hand accounts about Energy would just make me miss him more. But, still, it was so awesome to talk to her. She told us so much about Energy. It does hurt. I do want him to be able to come home to us soon.
but...he likes to eat. ;) he loves veggies. he's allergic to all tomatoes and tomato products. he loves to play outside and loves to play in the sandbox (we have a huge one). He loved to go to her classroom to visit the fish she had, which he called Nemo. He's very good at puzzles, she thinks he's very visual. He's bilingual. He likes to have stories read to him. He likes to cuddle. He's a little bit shy and quiet. There's an older boy there that he's good friends with and loves to play trucks with.
Then she told us two stories that just made us both not able to speak for a while. One was of an evening where he was crying and fussing. She said, "he just needed someone to cuddle him for a while, then he was fine." The other was of the picture of our family that he has. She said he would carry it around with him and clutch it to him. That one about did us in.
The good news is, we got an update (finally). His case came out of the PGN office with one objection...which was taken care of down in Guatemala and the case resubmitted. Typically, cases come out with 3-5 objections which get bounced back to the family in the states. So, I'm glad things were so promptly handled on that front.
Once the case has its final approval, they say its usually another 8 weeks before we get an appointment to appear in court and finalize the adoption in Guatemala. The Jedi says we might not get to bring him home before his birthday in May. I *NEED* to be able to bring him home before his birthday in May.
Two unrelated thoughts before I close. Mother's papsmear came back abnormal. The nurse called it "precancerous." Personally, because i'm good at living in denial, I'm thinking this means they do a hysterectomy as planned and there's no further issue. Smurf thinks that this means she actually does have cervical cancer, but it in the early stages and so hopefully hasn't spread yet. This is going to sound bizarre... but I'm really praying that Mother sees a seagull sometime today. They are her favorite birds, and I know that she'll take it as a sign that everything is going to be all right. It doesn't have to be a real seagull, though we do get them wheeling around parking lots in December and Janurary for some migratory reason I'll never figure out. But any image of a seagull. She needs a little encouragement that way.
Lastly, the trees are still covered with ice. The tree tops look loaded with diamonds in the sunlight. Our backyard trees have just been full of small birds flitting about this morning. One even flew over to the school room window and almost hovered for a moment before darting away. (yes, i know they can't really hover, i did say almost). I wish I had a bird feeder. If any of you know a nice link with instructions for making an EASY one, I'd love to see it.
We emailed her back last night and asked if we could call her. She promptly emailed a reply which said call her anytime, so we did. Right then and there. The Jedi was much more pumped about speaking to her than I was. I think partly because I'm really emotionally weary with how long this has gone on. On a subconsious level, hearing first hand accounts about Energy would just make me miss him more. But, still, it was so awesome to talk to her. She told us so much about Energy. It does hurt. I do want him to be able to come home to us soon.
but...he likes to eat. ;) he loves veggies. he's allergic to all tomatoes and tomato products. he loves to play outside and loves to play in the sandbox (we have a huge one). He loved to go to her classroom to visit the fish she had, which he called Nemo. He's very good at puzzles, she thinks he's very visual. He's bilingual. He likes to have stories read to him. He likes to cuddle. He's a little bit shy and quiet. There's an older boy there that he's good friends with and loves to play trucks with.
Then she told us two stories that just made us both not able to speak for a while. One was of an evening where he was crying and fussing. She said, "he just needed someone to cuddle him for a while, then he was fine." The other was of the picture of our family that he has. She said he would carry it around with him and clutch it to him. That one about did us in.
The good news is, we got an update (finally). His case came out of the PGN office with one objection...which was taken care of down in Guatemala and the case resubmitted. Typically, cases come out with 3-5 objections which get bounced back to the family in the states. So, I'm glad things were so promptly handled on that front.
Once the case has its final approval, they say its usually another 8 weeks before we get an appointment to appear in court and finalize the adoption in Guatemala. The Jedi says we might not get to bring him home before his birthday in May. I *NEED* to be able to bring him home before his birthday in May.
Two unrelated thoughts before I close. Mother's papsmear came back abnormal. The nurse called it "precancerous." Personally, because i'm good at living in denial, I'm thinking this means they do a hysterectomy as planned and there's no further issue. Smurf thinks that this means she actually does have cervical cancer, but it in the early stages and so hopefully hasn't spread yet. This is going to sound bizarre... but I'm really praying that Mother sees a seagull sometime today. They are her favorite birds, and I know that she'll take it as a sign that everything is going to be all right. It doesn't have to be a real seagull, though we do get them wheeling around parking lots in December and Janurary for some migratory reason I'll never figure out. But any image of a seagull. She needs a little encouragement that way.
Lastly, the trees are still covered with ice. The tree tops look loaded with diamonds in the sunlight. Our backyard trees have just been full of small birds flitting about this morning. One even flew over to the school room window and almost hovered for a moment before darting away. (yes, i know they can't really hover, i did say almost). I wish I had a bird feeder. If any of you know a nice link with instructions for making an EASY one, I'd love to see it.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day
The Jedi sent me these for a card today. I would share what he wrote, but I don't have his permission, and I know how private he is. Therefore, I will just share these instead.
Check these out in this order:
I type, therefore...
This could also be titled, I have a keyboard and access to the interet, which as far as I'm concerned gives me liscense to ramble. Sweetling can spell lisence properly. I know, cause it was on her sticky word list for a while and so she'd spell it every week when I quized her on her spelling list for the week. Now, from this process, Sweetling learned how to spell lisence. Mommy learned...that sticky words is an effective teaching technique for other people.
ONE (yes I do have some specific points to make)
A huge giant enormous thank you for everyone who called me, IM'd me, emailed me, or posted a comment to me in the last two weeks. Honestly, I wrote a couple of not so happy entries, and I was literally flooded with friends checking in on me and making sure I was all right. Now, at the time, I exploited my kind friends by taking the opportunity to whine even more. But, looking back, I realize how sweet you all were, and how blessed I was by your compassion.
TWO
You all are great loving friends, but all you all whine too much about the tag game. ;) I had a great time with it, and loved reading everyone else's tag. Thanks to the three that I tagged that were good sports enough to follow through with it. Even if two of those young women were too "cool" to do so on their own blogs, lest their peer group see that they do associate with people as dorky as me.
Also, let me point out that being threatened to be chased around with a spoon by a man that I've never met is a unique and interesting experience. (Nevermind the fact that I've silently stalked his blog entries more than once. Christopher Robin already accuses me of being a voyeur.) Any way, thank you Steven for that special comment. *grin* Behold the power of the internet.
THREE
I love snow days. (Sorry CR). Everything in my life got cancelled this week, so I've gotten to stay home from many of my commitments. (No AHG monday, no dance last night, no WoW today, no choir tonight). Now, I normally like all of these things, but you all know I needed a vacation. Apparantly ice storms are my ticket to stay home and veg for a few days. (Yeah, I did spend nearly 5 hours on the road trying to run errands before the ice hit yesterday, and was almost successful). But still, the Piglet goes wee wee wee all the way home.
Plus, it is simply beautiful outside. I stood at the kitchen window this morning in my bathrobe looking out at it. The maple tree in our front yard is just transformed into this delicate blown glass sculpture. I'm so used to thinking that trees are bare during the winter, but our maple is covered with little red buds that make each branch a work of art. The evergreens are bowed under the weight of the snow and ice. Sweetling says they are bowing to God. The sky was a hushed powder blue with the softest kisses of blushing clouds encirling the treeline. Even the ugliness of the utility pole and its tangle of power cables that stands at the corner of our driveway became strings of sparkling icicles.
FOUR
I had a most wonderful weekend. Sweetling stayed the weekend with some friends from church, and the Jedi and I went to a marriage conference. Let me explain, no, there is too much...let me sum up. First, the speakers were great. One speaker in particular was just hysterical. I missed parts of what he said, because I was too busy laughing over the last thing he said. I never in my life thought I'd sincerely say "I hope we get to hear the mime again", especially since the Jedi readily agreed with that bizarre statement. Second, the Jedi and I spent nearly all weekend talking to each other, working out a few past issues, and really reconnecting with each other. I came home really energized and "up"...but at the same time felt a little wrung out because of how deep the conversations had been. (Another reason I'm glad snow and ice have cancelled my entire week).
The weekend was arguable one of the best weekends I've had in a long, long time. (for some future post, I'll have to make a nice long list of weekends I've really enjoyed and why)
(What number am I on?) FIVE
I've done enough ranting about the difficulties I had getting on my blog the past couple days. But, since I am high maintenance, I'm going to rant some more. Apparantly, although "chocolateer" is the name I post as, its NOT my user name for Blogspot. Ergo, every variation of the password I would have thought I would have used with the username of Chocolateer didn't work. And, also ergo, neither did any 'forgot your password' emails come to me. They could have TOLD me that this was an invalid username....unless some other person who *does* have the username of chocolateer got three password emails in their inbox. So, I finally get back on the school room computer (its ups died, and I was using the laptop...hence some of the frustration because the school room computer saves my user names and passwords. Yes, I know, the height of security I am). Anyway, back on the schoolroom computer. My blogspot welcome screen says "Hi Xuan"; my username is a dnd character name, and I post as Chocolateer. Its just layers upon layers of treachory out there.
Apparantly chanting "mine! mine! mine!" works when you are two and are tugging on a toy. It loses its effectiveness when you are 36 and are screaming at a laptop screen.
Lastly, am I the only dyslexic who cannot correctly type in the wicked random letters to leave a comment for others? I swear I type slowly, carefully, deciphering the swimming confusing jumble of letters. And I always, always, get denied the first time. I can usually get it the second or third time though. If not I give up.
SIX (I had to scroll up again).
My tablet PC is all set to go. It lives on my school desk next to my regular PC. This is so I can have my regular PC on and open to meebo and to whatever rp i'm involved in AND hold my tablet PC on my lap so I can draw while I'm waiting for my turn to post. I tried to claim that this made me a nerd, but Chessclub essentially said that 'nerd' was too intelligent of an appilation for me. We both agreed that this did not make me a geek, because that would imply a degree of compupter competency everyone knows I don't possess. So, do I get left with 'dork'? I'm always a dork. I want a new stereotype.
SEVEN
I have a wretched body-image. Christopher Robin wanted a picture of me to share with peeps she's rping with. I searched to try to find a photo of me taken within the last two years, that I could live with. I failed. Eventually she cropped me out of a group shot taken this summer. I can live with her pic cause it was a bit on the low res side (since it was just a small piece of a bigger pic) so it was indistinct enough that it didn't make me cringe to see it.
EIGHT
Because this blog was supposed to be upbeat I refuse to end it on my lack of self-esteem. If I knew how to make a photo come in at the END of my blog, instead of at the top, I'd put in a photo of baby pandas. But we've already determined that I'm not geek enough to do that.
In close, I'll ask you the same question Sweetling asked me this morning. (Well, this question came after, "Mommy, how do you get the towel to stay up?" cause she came in to use the bathroom right after I had gotten out of the shower.) Anyway, her question was, "If you were a dog, who would you want your owner to be?"
ONE (yes I do have some specific points to make)
A huge giant enormous thank you for everyone who called me, IM'd me, emailed me, or posted a comment to me in the last two weeks. Honestly, I wrote a couple of not so happy entries, and I was literally flooded with friends checking in on me and making sure I was all right. Now, at the time, I exploited my kind friends by taking the opportunity to whine even more. But, looking back, I realize how sweet you all were, and how blessed I was by your compassion.
TWO
You all are great loving friends, but all you all whine too much about the tag game. ;) I had a great time with it, and loved reading everyone else's tag. Thanks to the three that I tagged that were good sports enough to follow through with it. Even if two of those young women were too "cool" to do so on their own blogs, lest their peer group see that they do associate with people as dorky as me.
Also, let me point out that being threatened to be chased around with a spoon by a man that I've never met is a unique and interesting experience. (Nevermind the fact that I've silently stalked his blog entries more than once. Christopher Robin already accuses me of being a voyeur.) Any way, thank you Steven for that special comment. *grin* Behold the power of the internet.
THREE
I love snow days. (Sorry CR). Everything in my life got cancelled this week, so I've gotten to stay home from many of my commitments. (No AHG monday, no dance last night, no WoW today, no choir tonight). Now, I normally like all of these things, but you all know I needed a vacation. Apparantly ice storms are my ticket to stay home and veg for a few days. (Yeah, I did spend nearly 5 hours on the road trying to run errands before the ice hit yesterday, and was almost successful). But still, the Piglet goes wee wee wee all the way home.
Plus, it is simply beautiful outside. I stood at the kitchen window this morning in my bathrobe looking out at it. The maple tree in our front yard is just transformed into this delicate blown glass sculpture. I'm so used to thinking that trees are bare during the winter, but our maple is covered with little red buds that make each branch a work of art. The evergreens are bowed under the weight of the snow and ice. Sweetling says they are bowing to God. The sky was a hushed powder blue with the softest kisses of blushing clouds encirling the treeline. Even the ugliness of the utility pole and its tangle of power cables that stands at the corner of our driveway became strings of sparkling icicles.
FOUR
I had a most wonderful weekend. Sweetling stayed the weekend with some friends from church, and the Jedi and I went to a marriage conference. Let me explain, no, there is too much...let me sum up. First, the speakers were great. One speaker in particular was just hysterical. I missed parts of what he said, because I was too busy laughing over the last thing he said. I never in my life thought I'd sincerely say "I hope we get to hear the mime again", especially since the Jedi readily agreed with that bizarre statement. Second, the Jedi and I spent nearly all weekend talking to each other, working out a few past issues, and really reconnecting with each other. I came home really energized and "up"...but at the same time felt a little wrung out because of how deep the conversations had been. (Another reason I'm glad snow and ice have cancelled my entire week).
The weekend was arguable one of the best weekends I've had in a long, long time. (for some future post, I'll have to make a nice long list of weekends I've really enjoyed and why)
(What number am I on?) FIVE
I've done enough ranting about the difficulties I had getting on my blog the past couple days. But, since I am high maintenance, I'm going to rant some more. Apparantly, although "chocolateer" is the name I post as, its NOT my user name for Blogspot. Ergo, every variation of the password I would have thought I would have used with the username of Chocolateer didn't work. And, also ergo, neither did any 'forgot your password' emails come to me. They could have TOLD me that this was an invalid username....unless some other person who *does* have the username of chocolateer got three password emails in their inbox. So, I finally get back on the school room computer (its ups died, and I was using the laptop...hence some of the frustration because the school room computer saves my user names and passwords. Yes, I know, the height of security I am). Anyway, back on the schoolroom computer. My blogspot welcome screen says "Hi Xuan"; my username is a dnd character name, and I post as Chocolateer. Its just layers upon layers of treachory out there.
Apparantly chanting "mine! mine! mine!" works when you are two and are tugging on a toy. It loses its effectiveness when you are 36 and are screaming at a laptop screen.
Lastly, am I the only dyslexic who cannot correctly type in the wicked random letters to leave a comment for others? I swear I type slowly, carefully, deciphering the swimming confusing jumble of letters. And I always, always, get denied the first time. I can usually get it the second or third time though. If not I give up.
SIX (I had to scroll up again).
My tablet PC is all set to go. It lives on my school desk next to my regular PC. This is so I can have my regular PC on and open to meebo and to whatever rp i'm involved in AND hold my tablet PC on my lap so I can draw while I'm waiting for my turn to post. I tried to claim that this made me a nerd, but Chessclub essentially said that 'nerd' was too intelligent of an appilation for me. We both agreed that this did not make me a geek, because that would imply a degree of compupter competency everyone knows I don't possess. So, do I get left with 'dork'? I'm always a dork. I want a new stereotype.
SEVEN
I have a wretched body-image. Christopher Robin wanted a picture of me to share with peeps she's rping with. I searched to try to find a photo of me taken within the last two years, that I could live with. I failed. Eventually she cropped me out of a group shot taken this summer. I can live with her pic cause it was a bit on the low res side (since it was just a small piece of a bigger pic) so it was indistinct enough that it didn't make me cringe to see it.
EIGHT
Because this blog was supposed to be upbeat I refuse to end it on my lack of self-esteem. If I knew how to make a photo come in at the END of my blog, instead of at the top, I'd put in a photo of baby pandas. But we've already determined that I'm not geek enough to do that.
In close, I'll ask you the same question Sweetling asked me this morning. (Well, this question came after, "Mommy, how do you get the towel to stay up?" cause she came in to use the bathroom right after I had gotten out of the shower.) Anyway, her question was, "If you were a dog, who would you want your owner to be?"
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Victory is MINE!!!
The computer tried to lock me out of my blog for nearly two days, but with great amounts of perserverence, I have prevailed! Fear me, electronic harbringer of evil, fear me.
I have lots to say, but its taken me two days to recover access to my account. Now its late, I have a cold. I'm drugging myself and going to bed. I will save all my happy news for tomorrow. And it is happy. Happy happy news. Yay.
I have lots to say, but its taken me two days to recover access to my account. Now its late, I have a cold. I'm drugging myself and going to bed. I will save all my happy news for tomorrow. And it is happy. Happy happy news. Yay.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Tagged
I love tag. So, I'm it. Here's how it works. (I think). Its an alphabet tag and I'm answering the implied questions for each letter.
A=Available? I think this means "to date". Nope. Happily married. :)
B=Best Friend? The Jedi. (see A)
C= Cake or pie Chocolate Cavity Maker Cake
D= Drink of choice I drink water through out the day, but have to start the day with a cup of hot chocolate made with milk from cocoa.
E= Essential item you use everyday - Computer. I'm a hopeless addict.
F=Favorite color - YELLOW
G= gummie bears or worms- Neither. No gummie anythings. Yucky gumminess. Gummie is like so NOT food. Its not even candy. It was some candy factory accident.
H= Hometown -Cincinnati
I = Indulgences - on line RPs. Duh.
J= January or February - Nuh huh. This is so not a fair question. It should be January, June or July? In which case I'd have to say June. Its lovely. Its beautiful. Its warm and sunny without being sweltering hot and miserable. June all the way.
K=Kids and Names - Vaya the elf whose on her own and getting married in May. Sweetling who is only doing science and projects on Thursdays from now on. E is for Energy who is *still* in Guatemala. Those of you who speak regularly to the HP can lift this situation up for me. I'm at the end of my faith. The manna in the dessert is seeming like pretty thin flakes right about now.
L= Life is incomplete without... My husband, my children, music, sunshine, fantasy, laughter, faith.
M= Marriage date - August 29, 1992
N=Number of siblings- I'm the oldest. Then Tornado, who now builds houses, owns a few acres in the middle of nowhere with no phone and a crazy mailcarrier (has anyone seen 'Funny Farm?) with three children. When my first niece was born, I thought there was no justice in the universe. How could Tornado have such a perfect, calm, sweet child. Then the second niece, and the nephew was born. Justice dished out two servings. Sixteen years after me, hear that, sixteen years, came the Smurf. When she was born, and I would take her for a walk or carry her in the mall, people would ask me if she was my baby. Now people ask her what college she's in, and what middle school I'm attending...and am I in the seventh or the eigth grade? Finally, in the line up...who so deserves a last but not least is the Dooooode. You have to say it that way. I have to see how his plan to hop the fence and snowboard down Mt Rumpke went.
O= Oranges or apples - Ok, first of all, no one says 'oranges and apples.' The correct expression is apples to oranges. Lushgirl, if you came up with the questions, you have my deepest, most profound apologies. If *you* came up with the questions, then I think they are all wonderful. If you didn't then I feel free to grouse. I'm in a grousy mood today. I'm going to blame in on the fact that I haven't done morning devotionals in a week. Bear asked me this morning who had pee-ed in my wheaties. To which I replied that I am like frosted mini-wheats, sweet and sugary on one side and coarse harsh bran on the other. Bear threatened to flatten me with a spoon.
P= Phobias or Fears -Spoons. No, really...um...crowds. I hate feeling lost in a crowd. Nightmares. Though Smurf has me beat on those, a race I gladly bow out of. Scary movies. Hate those. Can't watch them.
Q= Favorite Quote - "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything through prayer and with thanksgiving, present your request to the Lord and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. " --though I could do better with applying it lately.
R= Reason to smile -Sweetling, humorous friends, being a stay home mom, joy
S= Season - spring and early summer. I love being outdoors and going for walks or just sitting in the park. Autumn for its colors and its semi-warm weather comes in second.
T= Tag 3 or 4 people - Christopher Robin, Smurf, who so wont do it, Vaya, cause she needs to blog so that I know whats going on in her life, and I'll try for Duckie. I can literally hear her eyes rolling. I miss hearing those eye rolls. She's not on IM anymore. Or she's not on IM anymore to speak to us non-fey.
U= Unknown fact about me: Hhmmm...i was Air Force ROTC for one brief season. I started college as a physics major and carried a 4.o the first two quarters of my first year. I wanted to go into NASA and the AirForce was a nice path to that, or so I reasoned at the time. Then I woke up and realized that I really wanted a life and a family (eventually) more than a career. I ended up the year with less than a 4.0. (I think a got a B in calc cause it was a morning class and attendance and homework counted. Something like that. It might have been a C.) I also went to a party after spring finals in aluminum foil and saran wrap on a dare.
V= Vegetable you don’t like - Lima beans.
W= Worst habit - Procrastination.
X= X-rays - My wrist when I was seven and fell off the monkey bars and fractured it. Mammaw made me a yellow gingum sling with ric rac and little mouse appliques. My elbow when I was in fourth or fifth grade and thought I could leap a stone wall in a single bound to get to the swings first. Another fracture. This time we were living in Canton. No Mammaw around. Grandma B claimed that she saw the whole thing and that I only fell on grass, so I was fine and I should stop crying. She got all over Mother for insisting that something was wrong and that we needed an XRay. It turned out to be a fracture, but since Grandma B could never, ever be in the wrong, it turned out that it must have been my fault after all. I must have bird bones and I should therefore be restricted from lots of other physical activities. Dad, of course, agreed whole heartedly with Grandma B. Tornado and I ignored it when no one was watching. Unless, of course, someone tackled me too hard when we were playing football in the backyard. Then Tornado got all *over* their case...no matter which team I was on. And since no one wanted to mess with Tornado, I got to play running back often. Last XRay was when I was an adult and had a ton, of UT infections. Like one every other month. They sent me to a urologist who pumped something into my blood through an IV. The plan was that it would filter out and they could then XRay my urinary track. It worked pretty well. I was allergic to the dye, but nothing major. Oh, and I had a slew of dental xrays. more than normal. I was born without most of my adult teeth (like, there were no buds to develop into adult teeth.) And so it caused lots of fun dental problems.
Y= Your favorite food -Ethnic foods, oriental and indian. And chocolate. Dark chocolate.
Z= Zodiac Sign - Dont do these. Lets think of something else for Z. Z is for.....Big Z, little z, what begins with Z? I do. I'm a zizzer-zazzer zuzz, as you can plainly see. Z is for the fact that Sweetling is now 8, and I *still* have Dr Suess' ABCs memorized. Maybe E is for Energy will like them too.
oh, and a shout out to Lushgirl, who tagged me and got me out of my 'i'm in a bad mood about my life, so all i want to do is rp all day. I even thought about blogging, but couldn't get motivated to write about *me*. Not the cheeriest of blogs, but its at least a little funny. I hope.
A=Available? I think this means "to date". Nope. Happily married. :)
B=Best Friend? The Jedi. (see A)
C= Cake or pie Chocolate Cavity Maker Cake
D= Drink of choice I drink water through out the day, but have to start the day with a cup of hot chocolate made with milk from cocoa.
E= Essential item you use everyday - Computer. I'm a hopeless addict.
F=Favorite color - YELLOW
G= gummie bears or worms- Neither. No gummie anythings. Yucky gumminess. Gummie is like so NOT food. Its not even candy. It was some candy factory accident.
H= Hometown -Cincinnati
I = Indulgences - on line RPs. Duh.
J= January or February - Nuh huh. This is so not a fair question. It should be January, June or July? In which case I'd have to say June. Its lovely. Its beautiful. Its warm and sunny without being sweltering hot and miserable. June all the way.
K=Kids and Names - Vaya the elf whose on her own and getting married in May. Sweetling who is only doing science and projects on Thursdays from now on. E is for Energy who is *still* in Guatemala. Those of you who speak regularly to the HP can lift this situation up for me. I'm at the end of my faith. The manna in the dessert is seeming like pretty thin flakes right about now.
L= Life is incomplete without... My husband, my children, music, sunshine, fantasy, laughter, faith.
M= Marriage date - August 29, 1992
N=Number of siblings- I'm the oldest. Then Tornado, who now builds houses, owns a few acres in the middle of nowhere with no phone and a crazy mailcarrier (has anyone seen 'Funny Farm?) with three children. When my first niece was born, I thought there was no justice in the universe. How could Tornado have such a perfect, calm, sweet child. Then the second niece, and the nephew was born. Justice dished out two servings. Sixteen years after me, hear that, sixteen years, came the Smurf. When she was born, and I would take her for a walk or carry her in the mall, people would ask me if she was my baby. Now people ask her what college she's in, and what middle school I'm attending...and am I in the seventh or the eigth grade? Finally, in the line up...who so deserves a last but not least is the Dooooode. You have to say it that way. I have to see how his plan to hop the fence and snowboard down Mt Rumpke went.
O= Oranges or apples - Ok, first of all, no one says 'oranges and apples.' The correct expression is apples to oranges. Lushgirl, if you came up with the questions, you have my deepest, most profound apologies. If *you* came up with the questions, then I think they are all wonderful. If you didn't then I feel free to grouse. I'm in a grousy mood today. I'm going to blame in on the fact that I haven't done morning devotionals in a week. Bear asked me this morning who had pee-ed in my wheaties. To which I replied that I am like frosted mini-wheats, sweet and sugary on one side and coarse harsh bran on the other. Bear threatened to flatten me with a spoon.
P= Phobias or Fears -Spoons. No, really...um...crowds. I hate feeling lost in a crowd. Nightmares. Though Smurf has me beat on those, a race I gladly bow out of. Scary movies. Hate those. Can't watch them.
Q= Favorite Quote - "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything through prayer and with thanksgiving, present your request to the Lord and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. " --though I could do better with applying it lately.
R= Reason to smile -Sweetling, humorous friends, being a stay home mom, joy
S= Season - spring and early summer. I love being outdoors and going for walks or just sitting in the park. Autumn for its colors and its semi-warm weather comes in second.
T= Tag 3 or 4 people - Christopher Robin, Smurf, who so wont do it, Vaya, cause she needs to blog so that I know whats going on in her life, and I'll try for Duckie. I can literally hear her eyes rolling. I miss hearing those eye rolls. She's not on IM anymore. Or she's not on IM anymore to speak to us non-fey.
U= Unknown fact about me: Hhmmm...i was Air Force ROTC for one brief season. I started college as a physics major and carried a 4.o the first two quarters of my first year. I wanted to go into NASA and the AirForce was a nice path to that, or so I reasoned at the time. Then I woke up and realized that I really wanted a life and a family (eventually) more than a career. I ended up the year with less than a 4.0. (I think a got a B in calc cause it was a morning class and attendance and homework counted. Something like that. It might have been a C.) I also went to a party after spring finals in aluminum foil and saran wrap on a dare.
V= Vegetable you don’t like - Lima beans.
W= Worst habit - Procrastination.
X= X-rays - My wrist when I was seven and fell off the monkey bars and fractured it. Mammaw made me a yellow gingum sling with ric rac and little mouse appliques. My elbow when I was in fourth or fifth grade and thought I could leap a stone wall in a single bound to get to the swings first. Another fracture. This time we were living in Canton. No Mammaw around. Grandma B claimed that she saw the whole thing and that I only fell on grass, so I was fine and I should stop crying. She got all over Mother for insisting that something was wrong and that we needed an XRay. It turned out to be a fracture, but since Grandma B could never, ever be in the wrong, it turned out that it must have been my fault after all. I must have bird bones and I should therefore be restricted from lots of other physical activities. Dad, of course, agreed whole heartedly with Grandma B. Tornado and I ignored it when no one was watching. Unless, of course, someone tackled me too hard when we were playing football in the backyard. Then Tornado got all *over* their case...no matter which team I was on. And since no one wanted to mess with Tornado, I got to play running back often. Last XRay was when I was an adult and had a ton, of UT infections. Like one every other month. They sent me to a urologist who pumped something into my blood through an IV. The plan was that it would filter out and they could then XRay my urinary track. It worked pretty well. I was allergic to the dye, but nothing major. Oh, and I had a slew of dental xrays. more than normal. I was born without most of my adult teeth (like, there were no buds to develop into adult teeth.) And so it caused lots of fun dental problems.
Y= Your favorite food -Ethnic foods, oriental and indian. And chocolate. Dark chocolate.
Z= Zodiac Sign - Dont do these. Lets think of something else for Z. Z is for.....Big Z, little z, what begins with Z? I do. I'm a zizzer-zazzer zuzz, as you can plainly see. Z is for the fact that Sweetling is now 8, and I *still* have Dr Suess' ABCs memorized. Maybe E is for Energy will like them too.
oh, and a shout out to Lushgirl, who tagged me and got me out of my 'i'm in a bad mood about my life, so all i want to do is rp all day. I even thought about blogging, but couldn't get motivated to write about *me*. Not the cheeriest of blogs, but its at least a little funny. I hope.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Forgiveness
In my life, I've forgiven many people for many different things. Not that I'm saying this to brag, but I'm saying this because I feel rotten. Well, maybe not rotten...but I feel like I *should* feel rotten. I've forgiven many people for many wrongs that were done to me...most of them, I know, just happened not because the people were intending to do me wrong, but just because the persons were human and falliable, and working under the strain of their own wounds and their own issues.
So, if I can forgive persons that wounded me, why do I harbor this on-going resentment towards one person in particular over, get this, a game? People who hurt me emotionally, physically, sexually, in my heart I've been able to forgive them. But this one person whose only crime is that this particular game isn't very fun anymore? Bitterness. And I smile and I'm polite, but deep down I just simmer. And the person isn't doing it on purpose. The person cares and thinks to make the game better for everyone.
And you know what, its a game, a game.
And I'm not angry for myself, which is what makes it difficult. Myself, its probably too easy for me to walk away from any situation whenever it gets uncomfortable or difficult. I am an expert at ditching and hiding. So, I'm angry for someone else, who's invested a lot of time and energy in this endeavor, who wanted to be able to do something like this for years, and who is reaping zero pleasure from it now.
Why am I writing this? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it'll just make things worse.
I feel like I need to forgive, and I can't seem to do that. I know a few of you that might read this have gone through the process of forgiving. Maybe I'm writing this in the hopes of getting a few tips.
At least a couple of you that read this will know exactly who and what I'm talking about. But you know how much I trust you, and I know you can keep my words in confidence.
So, if I can forgive persons that wounded me, why do I harbor this on-going resentment towards one person in particular over, get this, a game? People who hurt me emotionally, physically, sexually, in my heart I've been able to forgive them. But this one person whose only crime is that this particular game isn't very fun anymore? Bitterness. And I smile and I'm polite, but deep down I just simmer. And the person isn't doing it on purpose. The person cares and thinks to make the game better for everyone.
And you know what, its a game, a game.
And I'm not angry for myself, which is what makes it difficult. Myself, its probably too easy for me to walk away from any situation whenever it gets uncomfortable or difficult. I am an expert at ditching and hiding. So, I'm angry for someone else, who's invested a lot of time and energy in this endeavor, who wanted to be able to do something like this for years, and who is reaping zero pleasure from it now.
Why am I writing this? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it'll just make things worse.
I feel like I need to forgive, and I can't seem to do that. I know a few of you that might read this have gone through the process of forgiving. Maybe I'm writing this in the hopes of getting a few tips.
At least a couple of you that read this will know exactly who and what I'm talking about. But you know how much I trust you, and I know you can keep my words in confidence.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Color
I'm debating the color of Fawn's hair. I have currently two different color themes going on here. The majority of her hair has more of an amber tone to it. I'm not sure I'm pleased with it. A small patch near her ear is a bit more wheat in tone. Which do I want to go with. Here is her brief physical description:
With soft brown eyes, a quiet voice, and a lightly freckled face, Fawn seems aptly named. Her tawny hair hangs just past her shoulders, and is often pulled back from her face and held by a barrette. She is petite and exudes a sense of calm, gentleness, and inner beauty.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Captivating
I finished the last chapter of this book. My favorite quotes from the last page: (the book is full of pink highlighter, so i'm just doing the last page)
God really does want you to know who *you* are. He wants you to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going.
You are a woman. An image bearer of God. The Crown of Creation. You were chosen before time and space, and you are wholly and dearly loved.
You are dangerous in your beauty and your life-giving power. And you are needed.
You can be strong and tender. You speak to the world of God's mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship.
We need you. We need you to awaken to God more fully and to awaken to the desires of th eheart that he placed within you so that you will come alive to him and to the role that is yours to play.
Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Saved image
I went back to an earlier saved image and started working on hair instead. I wasn't happy with the freckles, or the lips, or the eyes.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Lists
1. I'm tired of this cold. I'm feeling much, much better today and yesterday than I have been in a while, but I'm *still* conjested and *still* not sleeping well at night because of it.
2. Christoper Robin is abbreviated CR. We have decided that this can also stand for Corruptive Rascal.
3. I've had the song First of May stuck in my head this morning. I'm blaming CR. I've been very, very careful not to sing it out loud with the Sweetling around.
4. I have a tablet PC. The Jedi has spent last week updating it and upgrading it. He's going to install art rage on it for me.
5. I have a tendancy to get myself over-involved. VBS committee has just started up. (I went to the VBS curriculum fair on Thursday, which I thoroughly enjoyed.) I want to be involved with crafts, decorating, kids dance team, and preschool lesson. That's FOUR areas. My eyes are bigger than my stomach (or certainly bigger than my schedule).
6. We had a phone consultation with a therapist from Children's Hospital last night. In November, E is for Energy had been moved from his orphanage home to a new orphanage. He hasn't been happy with the move and separation, and has been throwing temper tantrums. While this is a totally natural and understandable response, I'm anticipating more temper tantrums when he comes home with us. I want to have some plans in place, some tools, some well-thought out responses, for how to best cope with and help him handle his anger and frustrations.
7. I journaled about that this morning. I know, from past experience, several things.
a) I am *capable* of handling this in a very positive constructive way. I did a wonderful job with some situations as a preschool teacher with two of my students who were prone to huge, violent tantrums.
b) At home, I tend to avoid any form of confrontation. Its very, very difficult for me to be firm.
c) When I was growing up, any and all types of behavior from any male family member, regardless of age, was either excused, appeased, rationalized, or ignored. I need to make a conscious choice not to follow that example.
d) I can NOT turtle out on this. I WILL NOT turtle out on this. I WILL have a healthy approach already in place before E is for Energy comes home.
8. We have an appointment in early February for an office visit with the therapist. Me, Sweetling, and the Jedi are all going. We'll see her at least twice in the office before E is for Energy comes home. She's helping us put into place a family plan for E is for Energy's grief and fear based tantrums.
9. I need to look up P.C.I.T and see what that's all about.
10. I haven't gotten back to any art. I'm really unhappy with how Fawn is looking. I'm really pleased with how Richard looks. This is the time at which I'm tempted to give up the project. I need to make a commitment to finishing it.
11. I thought there was a scripture, a promise that God will equip you to handle any good work for which he has called you. But, I can't find it. I found three verses that were close, but not the specific encouragement that I really need right now.
12. This is from my journal this morning:
E is going to need me.
He is going to need my strength.
He is going to need my confidence.
He is going to need my consistancy.
He is going to need my presence.
He is going to need my love.
He is going to need my guidance.
He is going to need my boundaries.
He is going to need my discipline.
He is going to need my acceptence.
He is going to need my comfort.
He is going to need my understanding.
He is going to need my tenderness.
He is going to need my steadfastness.
He is going to need me to follow through.
He is going to need me to uphold consequences.
He is going to need my praises.
He is going to need me to stay engaged.
He is going to need to hear my voice.
He is going to need my embrace.
He is going to need me to provide structure.
He is going to need my bravery.
He is going to need my softness.
He is going to need my firmness.
He is going to need me to be his mother.
2. Christoper Robin is abbreviated CR. We have decided that this can also stand for Corruptive Rascal.
3. I've had the song First of May stuck in my head this morning. I'm blaming CR. I've been very, very careful not to sing it out loud with the Sweetling around.
4. I have a tablet PC. The Jedi has spent last week updating it and upgrading it. He's going to install art rage on it for me.
5. I have a tendancy to get myself over-involved. VBS committee has just started up. (I went to the VBS curriculum fair on Thursday, which I thoroughly enjoyed.) I want to be involved with crafts, decorating, kids dance team, and preschool lesson. That's FOUR areas. My eyes are bigger than my stomach (or certainly bigger than my schedule).
6. We had a phone consultation with a therapist from Children's Hospital last night. In November, E is for Energy had been moved from his orphanage home to a new orphanage. He hasn't been happy with the move and separation, and has been throwing temper tantrums. While this is a totally natural and understandable response, I'm anticipating more temper tantrums when he comes home with us. I want to have some plans in place, some tools, some well-thought out responses, for how to best cope with and help him handle his anger and frustrations.
7. I journaled about that this morning. I know, from past experience, several things.
a) I am *capable* of handling this in a very positive constructive way. I did a wonderful job with some situations as a preschool teacher with two of my students who were prone to huge, violent tantrums.
b) At home, I tend to avoid any form of confrontation. Its very, very difficult for me to be firm.
c) When I was growing up, any and all types of behavior from any male family member, regardless of age, was either excused, appeased, rationalized, or ignored. I need to make a conscious choice not to follow that example.
d) I can NOT turtle out on this. I WILL NOT turtle out on this. I WILL have a healthy approach already in place before E is for Energy comes home.
8. We have an appointment in early February for an office visit with the therapist. Me, Sweetling, and the Jedi are all going. We'll see her at least twice in the office before E is for Energy comes home. She's helping us put into place a family plan for E is for Energy's grief and fear based tantrums.
9. I need to look up P.C.I.T and see what that's all about.
10. I haven't gotten back to any art. I'm really unhappy with how Fawn is looking. I'm really pleased with how Richard looks. This is the time at which I'm tempted to give up the project. I need to make a commitment to finishing it.
11. I thought there was a scripture, a promise that God will equip you to handle any good work for which he has called you. But, I can't find it. I found three verses that were close, but not the specific encouragement that I really need right now.
12. This is from my journal this morning:
E is going to need me.
He is going to need my strength.
He is going to need my confidence.
He is going to need my consistancy.
He is going to need my presence.
He is going to need my love.
He is going to need my guidance.
He is going to need my boundaries.
He is going to need my discipline.
He is going to need my acceptence.
He is going to need my comfort.
He is going to need my understanding.
He is going to need my tenderness.
He is going to need my steadfastness.
He is going to need me to follow through.
He is going to need me to uphold consequences.
He is going to need my praises.
He is going to need me to stay engaged.
He is going to need to hear my voice.
He is going to need my embrace.
He is going to need me to provide structure.
He is going to need my bravery.
He is going to need my softness.
He is going to need my firmness.
He is going to need me to be his mother.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Freckleless Fawn
Some evil, evil person (smurf) convinced me that I could "totally do freckles." The evil person lied to me. Deceived me. Lured me with false hope only to laugh when my fragile little spirit was crushed.Freckles are HARD.
The good news is ... a) I'm feeling more like a human being and less like a miserable zombie, and b) I have new *tablet* PC cause the Jedi *loves* me.
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