Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Panda Garden
We didn't have pineapple pancakes. The Jedi showed up with dinner from Panda Garden. This deserved it's own entry.
Expanded Updates
I slept soundly from 10:30 last night till 8:30 this morning, and I could have slept another hour or two at least. I could have also taken a nap this afternoon. But I didn't. I have 30 minutes now while Sweetling is watching Cyberchase. I could either clean the bathroom, clean the schoolroom, or put away laundry. I'm doing none of those things. I'm blogging. I'll start at the top of my list from last week, and work my way down to see how much I get written.
Sweetling was in a science fair. We homeschool (sort of, technically, we're part of OHVA.) We participated in a regional science fair with other OHVA families. The Jedi says there were about 25 children in the fair, I would have guessed 40...so I'll compromise and go with 30. Now, I aslo have to confess that I am a science fair junkie. I could show up at school science fairs where I didn't even know any children and just wander around looking at science projects and I'd be a happy person. When Sweetling wanted to enter the science fair, it took a very conscious, deliberate effort on my part not to micromanage or, worse yet, want to offer lots of suggestions for how she "should" do her project. But I was a very very good mother, and left her totally alone on the project. She devised it, she named it, she conducted the experiment, she wrote up her report, she wrote up her experiment, she put together her labels and her display board totally on her own. Mommy kept her nose OUT of the project. It took a lot of will power, but I stayed out. And, when we went to set up, many elementary projects had that smoothed, polished, parents helped me put this together feel. Not ours. Ours had crooked lablels, jagged corners, and other minor touches that demonstrated that a third grader had done it independently. And Sweetling was oh so nervous.
So nervous, in fact, that at home, she decided she needed to practice her oral presentation in a room by herself before she could give her oral presentation to her doll babies. You see, science fair projects are judged. The parents are all asked to leave the room. The students stay with their projects and each student must speak to two judges. The student presents and explains her experiment, and then must be preparred to answer questions the judges might ask. Sweetling was quite nervous about this.
I waited in the cold sanctuary of the local church who had agreed to let the virtual school use its facility to host the science fair. I read for a while till the Jedi got off work and got up to the fair. Sweetling and I had arrived at 3:30. The judging started slightly after 4. The parents weren't admitted back into the room until just before 6. (OHVA treated all the families to pizza). Vaya and the Gentle Giant showed up...and I dragged Vaya around the room with me to look at the projects. Mind you, I had already made TWO circles of the room with all its tables and displays...once before the judging, once with the Jedi, and now with Vaya.
There was a kindergartener with a project titled "How does steam make a boat go?" His display included a 'paddle' made from a tin can suspended in a tub formed from a hollowed pineapple half with little plastic pirate figures standing guard. I thought the pirates were a nice touch. There was another kindergartener with "Do roots always grow down?" Her display was perfectly mounted photos of her in various stages of her experiment (which involved sprouting seeds on wet paper towels inside of petri dishes affixed to the window pane. After a certain number of days, she rotated the petri dishes to see if the roots, that now faced up, would turn themselves back down). There was a 4th/5th grader with a project to determine if cats were right or left 'pawed'. She designed three different tests to see if a cat would reach for an object and show a preference for its right or left paw. In addition to her own two cats, she contacted her vets office, and they let her test cats that lived in the office (and some of their employees brought in their own pets for her to test as well.) Of course, a few of the cats failed the jar test when they stuck their heads in the jar to reach the bait rather than reaching in with a paw to pull it out.
Another 4th/5th grader had a "Collecting CO2" project. S/he had a homerigged set up to catch CO2 given off in "kitchen chemistry" reactions. S/he tested the CO2 with limewater to see which set up and "kitchen chemistry" reaction would yield most CO2 collected. Another 4th/5th grader had a project on the effects of acid rain on plants. A 6th-8th grader had a "What's the Hype about Hydrogen" project. He built his own small hydrogen solor cell. I didn't follow this project that well. It was a bit techical for me. Another 6th-8th grader had a project comparing the taste of 'healthier' chocolate chip cookies to standard chocolate chips cookies. I personally thought this one should come with samples for the audience. A 9th-12th grader had a project testing the presence of different minerals in soil and its effects on corn growth. His credits included "I would like to thank my dad for driving me, in a blizzard, to pick up my soil testing kits."
Now, the projects don't really compete against each other. Each project is evaluated by two different judges. Each judge rates each project on a scale from 1-10 in several different categories (and adds any personal comments at the bottom of the sheet.) The catergories are totalled, and the totals for the two judges are averaged. A project with a score of 90-100 receives a superior rating and a blue ribbon. A project with 89-70 points is rated "excellent" and receives either a red or yellow ribbon, depending on the fair...I've seen both. And 69 or less gets a "good" or an "honorable mention" which is almost always printed on a white ribbon. But, more than one project in each age category can receive a blue ribbon....or none can. There is no "first place" or "best in show".
Sweetling's project? She did "Operation Chromotography"....which I believe I've just misspelled. I'll have to get her permission to post her report and experiment write up. She tested the effects of different solvents on three different types of markers to see which produced the best spread of ink. And she, as previously mentioned, was one of only a few to receive a superior rating. And she did it all by herself. No perfect display, no Mommy coaching, no adult revisions of the process or the writing. I'm so so proud of her.
Now, the second thing I like about science fair is the families. There was an 18 month old in a fuzzy yellow shirt and striped leggings that would have made Houdini proud. Every time I glanced around, she was in a different part of the large room, zigging around adult legs with mother or an older sibling trying to catch up with her. At one point, I was standing in the doorway of the room, because Sweetling was in the lobby watching a chess game being played (she got an invitation to join a student chess club), and a streak of yellow at my knees caught my eye as the Houdini child went trotting out of the room....mother just a few paces behind her. Another mother wore this stipped...wrap? I'm not even sure what its called. It was lont and cotton and went across her body twice, from her shoulder to the hips, around her waist and back up to her shoulder. It was secure enough to keep an infant snug against her chest, flexible enough to be quickly rearranged when she sat to nurse the baby, and long enough that two young sons could hold on to the ends of it for security when mom was walking through the crowded room. I think it was one of her older boys that did the CO2 experiment.
Ack! Its 5 o'clock....I have to do dinner. Pineapple pancakes tonight. Mmmmm.
Sweetling was in a science fair. We homeschool (sort of, technically, we're part of OHVA.) We participated in a regional science fair with other OHVA families. The Jedi says there were about 25 children in the fair, I would have guessed 40...so I'll compromise and go with 30. Now, I aslo have to confess that I am a science fair junkie. I could show up at school science fairs where I didn't even know any children and just wander around looking at science projects and I'd be a happy person. When Sweetling wanted to enter the science fair, it took a very conscious, deliberate effort on my part not to micromanage or, worse yet, want to offer lots of suggestions for how she "should" do her project. But I was a very very good mother, and left her totally alone on the project. She devised it, she named it, she conducted the experiment, she wrote up her report, she wrote up her experiment, she put together her labels and her display board totally on her own. Mommy kept her nose OUT of the project. It took a lot of will power, but I stayed out. And, when we went to set up, many elementary projects had that smoothed, polished, parents helped me put this together feel. Not ours. Ours had crooked lablels, jagged corners, and other minor touches that demonstrated that a third grader had done it independently. And Sweetling was oh so nervous.
So nervous, in fact, that at home, she decided she needed to practice her oral presentation in a room by herself before she could give her oral presentation to her doll babies. You see, science fair projects are judged. The parents are all asked to leave the room. The students stay with their projects and each student must speak to two judges. The student presents and explains her experiment, and then must be preparred to answer questions the judges might ask. Sweetling was quite nervous about this.
I waited in the cold sanctuary of the local church who had agreed to let the virtual school use its facility to host the science fair. I read for a while till the Jedi got off work and got up to the fair. Sweetling and I had arrived at 3:30. The judging started slightly after 4. The parents weren't admitted back into the room until just before 6. (OHVA treated all the families to pizza). Vaya and the Gentle Giant showed up...and I dragged Vaya around the room with me to look at the projects. Mind you, I had already made TWO circles of the room with all its tables and displays...once before the judging, once with the Jedi, and now with Vaya.
There was a kindergartener with a project titled "How does steam make a boat go?" His display included a 'paddle' made from a tin can suspended in a tub formed from a hollowed pineapple half with little plastic pirate figures standing guard. I thought the pirates were a nice touch. There was another kindergartener with "Do roots always grow down?" Her display was perfectly mounted photos of her in various stages of her experiment (which involved sprouting seeds on wet paper towels inside of petri dishes affixed to the window pane. After a certain number of days, she rotated the petri dishes to see if the roots, that now faced up, would turn themselves back down). There was a 4th/5th grader with a project to determine if cats were right or left 'pawed'. She designed three different tests to see if a cat would reach for an object and show a preference for its right or left paw. In addition to her own two cats, she contacted her vets office, and they let her test cats that lived in the office (and some of their employees brought in their own pets for her to test as well.) Of course, a few of the cats failed the jar test when they stuck their heads in the jar to reach the bait rather than reaching in with a paw to pull it out.
Another 4th/5th grader had a "Collecting CO2" project. S/he had a homerigged set up to catch CO2 given off in "kitchen chemistry" reactions. S/he tested the CO2 with limewater to see which set up and "kitchen chemistry" reaction would yield most CO2 collected. Another 4th/5th grader had a project on the effects of acid rain on plants. A 6th-8th grader had a "What's the Hype about Hydrogen" project. He built his own small hydrogen solor cell. I didn't follow this project that well. It was a bit techical for me. Another 6th-8th grader had a project comparing the taste of 'healthier' chocolate chip cookies to standard chocolate chips cookies. I personally thought this one should come with samples for the audience. A 9th-12th grader had a project testing the presence of different minerals in soil and its effects on corn growth. His credits included "I would like to thank my dad for driving me, in a blizzard, to pick up my soil testing kits."
Now, the projects don't really compete against each other. Each project is evaluated by two different judges. Each judge rates each project on a scale from 1-10 in several different categories (and adds any personal comments at the bottom of the sheet.) The catergories are totalled, and the totals for the two judges are averaged. A project with a score of 90-100 receives a superior rating and a blue ribbon. A project with 89-70 points is rated "excellent" and receives either a red or yellow ribbon, depending on the fair...I've seen both. And 69 or less gets a "good" or an "honorable mention" which is almost always printed on a white ribbon. But, more than one project in each age category can receive a blue ribbon....or none can. There is no "first place" or "best in show".
Sweetling's project? She did "Operation Chromotography"....which I believe I've just misspelled. I'll have to get her permission to post her report and experiment write up. She tested the effects of different solvents on three different types of markers to see which produced the best spread of ink. And she, as previously mentioned, was one of only a few to receive a superior rating. And she did it all by herself. No perfect display, no Mommy coaching, no adult revisions of the process or the writing. I'm so so proud of her.
Now, the second thing I like about science fair is the families. There was an 18 month old in a fuzzy yellow shirt and striped leggings that would have made Houdini proud. Every time I glanced around, she was in a different part of the large room, zigging around adult legs with mother or an older sibling trying to catch up with her. At one point, I was standing in the doorway of the room, because Sweetling was in the lobby watching a chess game being played (she got an invitation to join a student chess club), and a streak of yellow at my knees caught my eye as the Houdini child went trotting out of the room....mother just a few paces behind her. Another mother wore this stipped...wrap? I'm not even sure what its called. It was lont and cotton and went across her body twice, from her shoulder to the hips, around her waist and back up to her shoulder. It was secure enough to keep an infant snug against her chest, flexible enough to be quickly rearranged when she sat to nurse the baby, and long enough that two young sons could hold on to the ends of it for security when mom was walking through the crowded room. I think it was one of her older boys that did the CO2 experiment.
Ack! Its 5 o'clock....I have to do dinner. Pineapple pancakes tonight. Mmmmm.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Updates
We're very very busy and we have so much to do...
Quick list of topics I'd love to come back and write more about when I'm not exhausted.
--Thursday: Science fair, projects, cool families, mom that did attachment parenting, chess club, Sweetling's "superior" rating (blue ribbon)
--Friday. I had one. It fleeted past. But I was happy to see it. ah...bird feeders, squirrel feeders, enrichment devices
--Saturday. What did I do on Saturday? Oh, Amazing Grace movie. Go see it. I went with the Jedi. He made the arrangements for childcare for Sweetling. This is getting to be more than a list. Maple syrup. Area building. Bunny parties. Frog Hair.
--Sunday. Elephants. Missions weekend. Sweetling's voice. Devotions journal.
--Monday. AHG. I'm sure there were other things in my life that day. OH! letter about Energy from NiceLady. AND----mother's last biopsies all came back cancer free! (thanks everyone for all your prayers and thoughts and encouraging comments.) Also Renaissance Dresses.
--Tuesday. Mother's surgery delayed. IHOP. Schooling. School room. Photos. Tenebrae. Dance.
Now, after the lovely compliment that Maven paid me about my writing, I'm leaving you all with this crappy list. Why? Because. Doesn't that just stink as an answer? Here are the real reasons--I'm tired. I can't pick just one topic and I do have something to say about all of them. I go through my days sometimes and think, oooo, I'd love to blog about that. But somewhere between the thought and the blog, life interrupts. So, maybe through the week I'll blog about a few of those topics. Maybe. For now, I feel better just jotting them all down.
Quick list of topics I'd love to come back and write more about when I'm not exhausted.
--Thursday: Science fair, projects, cool families, mom that did attachment parenting, chess club, Sweetling's "superior" rating (blue ribbon)
--Friday. I had one. It fleeted past. But I was happy to see it. ah...bird feeders, squirrel feeders, enrichment devices
--Saturday. What did I do on Saturday? Oh, Amazing Grace movie. Go see it. I went with the Jedi. He made the arrangements for childcare for Sweetling. This is getting to be more than a list. Maple syrup. Area building. Bunny parties. Frog Hair.
--Sunday. Elephants. Missions weekend. Sweetling's voice. Devotions journal.
--Monday. AHG. I'm sure there were other things in my life that day. OH! letter about Energy from NiceLady. AND----mother's last biopsies all came back cancer free! (thanks everyone for all your prayers and thoughts and encouraging comments.) Also Renaissance Dresses.
--Tuesday. Mother's surgery delayed. IHOP. Schooling. School room. Photos. Tenebrae. Dance.
Now, after the lovely compliment that Maven paid me about my writing, I'm leaving you all with this crappy list. Why? Because. Doesn't that just stink as an answer? Here are the real reasons--I'm tired. I can't pick just one topic and I do have something to say about all of them. I go through my days sometimes and think, oooo, I'd love to blog about that. But somewhere between the thought and the blog, life interrupts. So, maybe through the week I'll blog about a few of those topics. Maybe. For now, I feel better just jotting them all down.
Monday, February 19, 2007
The Seagull
I have to confess I went to bed Friday night a little put out with God. My prayers that night were less of a "our father" nature and more of a "I really didn't think one seagull was too much to ask," whiney nature. And ask any of my close friends, they'll tell you that I have perfected the art of whining. Well, maybe not 'perfected' since that implies a degree of pleasantness, but I'm skilled at it.
I talked to Mother on Friday night around 8:30. She had just gotten out of class and was excited because she had gotten her first paper back with an A and all the grading categories marked as 'excellent'. I asked her how she was feeling, since after her biopsies that morning she had gone home to lay down because she was feeling it. After establishing that she was feeling well, and after chatting with her for a while, I tried to nonchalantly ask if she had seen a seagull that day. Now, mother is wise to my ways. She said that she hadn't, but immediately insisted that she had been surrounded that morning by an overwhelming sense of joy and peace and could tell that I had been praying for her. She went on to insist that she wouldn't have noticed a seagull unless it had landed on the hood of her car. I encouraged her. Told her that was wonderful. Was thrilled for her paper. Was glad she was feeling better. Was delighted that she was calm on the way to the doctor's office (she had called me that morning really worried. I offered to go with her, but she declined. Maybe I should have insisted.)
I got off the phone, and immediately started this inner dialogue with God over this lack of seagull issue. I pointed out that I hadn't even asked for a real live seagull, a poster, a picture in a magazine in the waiting room, something on the wall of her school, a billboard, the side of a Uhaul truck. Any image of a seagull would have sufficed. But recalling mother's comment about the seagull on the hood of her car, I realized, very cleverly, that obviously God had a better plan in mind. Surely, what he was going to do, was have mother walk out of her trip to the bank Saturday morning to find, in fact, a seagull on the car. (No, he wouldn't poop. This is a divine messenger seagull. They don't poop on the cars of the chosen.) So, I decided to leave the issue at rest, letting the Almighty's oversight alone for now, as long as he sent a real seagull to land on the car the next day. The still quiet voice tried to ask me....just who was this seagull *for* at this point? Mother? or me? Wasn't the peace and comfort he sent what she had really needed that morning? But I was too caugth up in the seagull issue to pay attention.
Saturday morning. I had a dance practice from 9-11. On the way to dance I entered into another discussion with God about the whole issue of seagulls, answered prayers, and trust. This time, since I was alone in the car, my half of the dialogue, or at least parts of it was aloud. Again, the question of, who was this seagull for? came up. And, wasn't the answer of peace and joy more than I had prayed for? And, yes, I was confident that mother's health was going to be all right, but was that because my trust was in God? or was my trust in the doctors and the medical proceedings? (To which, I answered something about a seagull not showing up).
All day Saturday I went back and forth with God on this one. Saturday night was Gospelfest (our church hosts an evening for area choirs and performers to present a few pieces and we have a pretty good community turn out). Our dance ministry presented "Angels Watching Over Me" (not the Amy grant version, totally differents song). Sunday morning I 'read' Acts 16:25-34. (which means I memorized it and did a dramatic reading of it). I prayed my way through a lot of the worship songs.
So, I wrote all of what you just read up there on Monday. And then I got stuck. Its Thursday, and I still haven't figured out how to explain what changed or why it changed. But changed it did. Sometime on Sunday. I was over the seagull issue. I was able to realize, finally, that this was about Mother getting what she needed. I also realized a few other things, about myself, affirming things, good things. Things that I can't quite articulate just now. Or that I can't concisely articulate. About trust and about faith and about 'fruit'. It also helped that I had a slew of people praising me for the scripture reading. Not that I'm a bit conceited from time to time or anything.
Sunday night I went to bed, and could have cared less about seagulls.
Monday I slept in, due to being up at three with a Sweetling with a cold. (For some reason, I really thought the whole 'up in the middle of the night phase' went away after the frist couple years.) But Monday immediately announced itself as a 'spin your wheels stuck in the mud no matter how much effort you put forth' sort of day. I told Sweetling I wanted us to leave for the grocery store at 10 am. It was 11:30 before we actually left. In that hour and a half, I don't even know what I did....laundry? housework? Nothing fun on the computer. And certainly nothing that made a dent in the state of my house or in the impossibly long 'to-do' list that HAD to be addressed that day. In short, Monday was quickly looking like it was going to be a crappy, frustrating, disgusting day full of unmet obligations, failed efforts, and mediocre accomplishments. (Yes, Smurf, I'm leaving that word misspelled just for you. I know how fragile your self-esteen is, and how important it is to maintaining your self-esteem for you to oh so cheerfully point out my faults).
Monday, 11:30 and we're finally on our way to the grocery store. Its not cold, but its not warm. The snow is beginning to become slush. All the parking spaces are really just slushy wading pools. Nevertheless, I pull into one of these lovely spots, pop the van into park....
And there's the seagull.
Just one seagull, circling low over the parking lot,clear and large and perfectly framed in the windshield of my van. I scream, "There's the seagull!!!!!" Sweetling starts asking, where where? Even though she has no clue why Mommy is so spastically excited about this. But the seagull only made one small circle, just enough for me to see him. By the time Susan unbuckled and jumped forward, he was already winging away across the street. I tried to point out his dwindling form, but he was making quick time into the distance. Within what seemed like seconds he had dissappeared. And I just sat there stunned.
I talked to Mother on Friday night around 8:30. She had just gotten out of class and was excited because she had gotten her first paper back with an A and all the grading categories marked as 'excellent'. I asked her how she was feeling, since after her biopsies that morning she had gone home to lay down because she was feeling it. After establishing that she was feeling well, and after chatting with her for a while, I tried to nonchalantly ask if she had seen a seagull that day. Now, mother is wise to my ways. She said that she hadn't, but immediately insisted that she had been surrounded that morning by an overwhelming sense of joy and peace and could tell that I had been praying for her. She went on to insist that she wouldn't have noticed a seagull unless it had landed on the hood of her car. I encouraged her. Told her that was wonderful. Was thrilled for her paper. Was glad she was feeling better. Was delighted that she was calm on the way to the doctor's office (she had called me that morning really worried. I offered to go with her, but she declined. Maybe I should have insisted.)
I got off the phone, and immediately started this inner dialogue with God over this lack of seagull issue. I pointed out that I hadn't even asked for a real live seagull, a poster, a picture in a magazine in the waiting room, something on the wall of her school, a billboard, the side of a Uhaul truck. Any image of a seagull would have sufficed. But recalling mother's comment about the seagull on the hood of her car, I realized, very cleverly, that obviously God had a better plan in mind. Surely, what he was going to do, was have mother walk out of her trip to the bank Saturday morning to find, in fact, a seagull on the car. (No, he wouldn't poop. This is a divine messenger seagull. They don't poop on the cars of the chosen.) So, I decided to leave the issue at rest, letting the Almighty's oversight alone for now, as long as he sent a real seagull to land on the car the next day. The still quiet voice tried to ask me....just who was this seagull *for* at this point? Mother? or me? Wasn't the peace and comfort he sent what she had really needed that morning? But I was too caugth up in the seagull issue to pay attention.
Saturday morning. I had a dance practice from 9-11. On the way to dance I entered into another discussion with God about the whole issue of seagulls, answered prayers, and trust. This time, since I was alone in the car, my half of the dialogue, or at least parts of it was aloud. Again, the question of, who was this seagull for? came up. And, wasn't the answer of peace and joy more than I had prayed for? And, yes, I was confident that mother's health was going to be all right, but was that because my trust was in God? or was my trust in the doctors and the medical proceedings? (To which, I answered something about a seagull not showing up).
All day Saturday I went back and forth with God on this one. Saturday night was Gospelfest (our church hosts an evening for area choirs and performers to present a few pieces and we have a pretty good community turn out). Our dance ministry presented "Angels Watching Over Me" (not the Amy grant version, totally differents song). Sunday morning I 'read' Acts 16:25-34. (which means I memorized it and did a dramatic reading of it). I prayed my way through a lot of the worship songs.
So, I wrote all of what you just read up there on Monday. And then I got stuck. Its Thursday, and I still haven't figured out how to explain what changed or why it changed. But changed it did. Sometime on Sunday. I was over the seagull issue. I was able to realize, finally, that this was about Mother getting what she needed. I also realized a few other things, about myself, affirming things, good things. Things that I can't quite articulate just now. Or that I can't concisely articulate. About trust and about faith and about 'fruit'. It also helped that I had a slew of people praising me for the scripture reading. Not that I'm a bit conceited from time to time or anything.
Sunday night I went to bed, and could have cared less about seagulls.
Monday I slept in, due to being up at three with a Sweetling with a cold. (For some reason, I really thought the whole 'up in the middle of the night phase' went away after the frist couple years.) But Monday immediately announced itself as a 'spin your wheels stuck in the mud no matter how much effort you put forth' sort of day. I told Sweetling I wanted us to leave for the grocery store at 10 am. It was 11:30 before we actually left. In that hour and a half, I don't even know what I did....laundry? housework? Nothing fun on the computer. And certainly nothing that made a dent in the state of my house or in the impossibly long 'to-do' list that HAD to be addressed that day. In short, Monday was quickly looking like it was going to be a crappy, frustrating, disgusting day full of unmet obligations, failed efforts, and mediocre accomplishments. (Yes, Smurf, I'm leaving that word misspelled just for you. I know how fragile your self-esteen is, and how important it is to maintaining your self-esteem for you to oh so cheerfully point out my faults).
Monday, 11:30 and we're finally on our way to the grocery store. Its not cold, but its not warm. The snow is beginning to become slush. All the parking spaces are really just slushy wading pools. Nevertheless, I pull into one of these lovely spots, pop the van into park....
And there's the seagull.
Just one seagull, circling low over the parking lot,clear and large and perfectly framed in the windshield of my van. I scream, "There's the seagull!!!!!" Sweetling starts asking, where where? Even though she has no clue why Mommy is so spastically excited about this. But the seagull only made one small circle, just enough for me to see him. By the time Susan unbuckled and jumped forward, he was already winging away across the street. I tried to point out his dwindling form, but he was making quick time into the distance. Within what seemed like seconds he had dissappeared. And I just sat there stunned.
Friday, February 16, 2007
The C word
Now, the nurse said precancerous. The American Cancer Society says "Only some women with pre-cancerous changes of the cervix will develop cancer. This process usually takes several years but sometimes can happen in less than a year. For most women, pre-cancerous cells will remain unchanged and go away without any treatment. But if these precancers are treated, almost all true cancers can be prevented."
They took some biopsies today, which will yield some more specific info...in about a week. But, reading through some of the ACS information, it sound like this is in an early enough stage, even if its passed from precancerous to cancer, that the only treatment that will be needed is the hysterectomy...which is already scheduled.
Not that I'm not concerned, but I think everything has been caught early enough that this isn't devastating, traumatic news. They'll do a hysterectomy, they'll schedule her in for regular follow up appointments to keep on top of everything. It's something thats under control.
They took some biopsies today, which will yield some more specific info...in about a week. But, reading through some of the ACS information, it sound like this is in an early enough stage, even if its passed from precancerous to cancer, that the only treatment that will be needed is the hysterectomy...which is already scheduled.
Not that I'm not concerned, but I think everything has been caught early enough that this isn't devastating, traumatic news. They'll do a hysterectomy, they'll schedule her in for regular follow up appointments to keep on top of everything. It's something thats under control.
"It's a God thing"
We received an email yesterday from a woman who had worked in the home where E is for Energy lives in Guatemala. She had worked there for a year as a teacher. She said she loved Energy very much. He was just the light of her world while she was there. She knew that E is for Energy was being adopted, but the directors of the home wouldn't give out personal information on who was adopting him. She wanted to know, because Energy meant so much to her, she wanted to get in touch with the family who was adopting him. She came back state side in Novemeber. She did an internet search with Energy's first name and the word adoption, and was able to find the missions web page for our church. Our church sets up special accounts for certain projects so that people can contribute to a particular project and their donation is earmarked just for that fund and doesn't go into the church's general funds. An account like that was set up for us to help fund the costs of Energy's adoption. So, that's the page she found. She emailed the church secretary, who called the Jedi and with the Jedi's approval, forwarded the email to us.
We emailed her back last night and asked if we could call her. She promptly emailed a reply which said call her anytime, so we did. Right then and there. The Jedi was much more pumped about speaking to her than I was. I think partly because I'm really emotionally weary with how long this has gone on. On a subconsious level, hearing first hand accounts about Energy would just make me miss him more. But, still, it was so awesome to talk to her. She told us so much about Energy. It does hurt. I do want him to be able to come home to us soon.
but...he likes to eat. ;) he loves veggies. he's allergic to all tomatoes and tomato products. he loves to play outside and loves to play in the sandbox (we have a huge one). He loved to go to her classroom to visit the fish she had, which he called Nemo. He's very good at puzzles, she thinks he's very visual. He's bilingual. He likes to have stories read to him. He likes to cuddle. He's a little bit shy and quiet. There's an older boy there that he's good friends with and loves to play trucks with.
Then she told us two stories that just made us both not able to speak for a while. One was of an evening where he was crying and fussing. She said, "he just needed someone to cuddle him for a while, then he was fine." The other was of the picture of our family that he has. She said he would carry it around with him and clutch it to him. That one about did us in.
The good news is, we got an update (finally). His case came out of the PGN office with one objection...which was taken care of down in Guatemala and the case resubmitted. Typically, cases come out with 3-5 objections which get bounced back to the family in the states. So, I'm glad things were so promptly handled on that front.
Once the case has its final approval, they say its usually another 8 weeks before we get an appointment to appear in court and finalize the adoption in Guatemala. The Jedi says we might not get to bring him home before his birthday in May. I *NEED* to be able to bring him home before his birthday in May.
Two unrelated thoughts before I close. Mother's papsmear came back abnormal. The nurse called it "precancerous." Personally, because i'm good at living in denial, I'm thinking this means they do a hysterectomy as planned and there's no further issue. Smurf thinks that this means she actually does have cervical cancer, but it in the early stages and so hopefully hasn't spread yet. This is going to sound bizarre... but I'm really praying that Mother sees a seagull sometime today. They are her favorite birds, and I know that she'll take it as a sign that everything is going to be all right. It doesn't have to be a real seagull, though we do get them wheeling around parking lots in December and Janurary for some migratory reason I'll never figure out. But any image of a seagull. She needs a little encouragement that way.
Lastly, the trees are still covered with ice. The tree tops look loaded with diamonds in the sunlight. Our backyard trees have just been full of small birds flitting about this morning. One even flew over to the school room window and almost hovered for a moment before darting away. (yes, i know they can't really hover, i did say almost). I wish I had a bird feeder. If any of you know a nice link with instructions for making an EASY one, I'd love to see it.
We emailed her back last night and asked if we could call her. She promptly emailed a reply which said call her anytime, so we did. Right then and there. The Jedi was much more pumped about speaking to her than I was. I think partly because I'm really emotionally weary with how long this has gone on. On a subconsious level, hearing first hand accounts about Energy would just make me miss him more. But, still, it was so awesome to talk to her. She told us so much about Energy. It does hurt. I do want him to be able to come home to us soon.
but...he likes to eat. ;) he loves veggies. he's allergic to all tomatoes and tomato products. he loves to play outside and loves to play in the sandbox (we have a huge one). He loved to go to her classroom to visit the fish she had, which he called Nemo. He's very good at puzzles, she thinks he's very visual. He's bilingual. He likes to have stories read to him. He likes to cuddle. He's a little bit shy and quiet. There's an older boy there that he's good friends with and loves to play trucks with.
Then she told us two stories that just made us both not able to speak for a while. One was of an evening where he was crying and fussing. She said, "he just needed someone to cuddle him for a while, then he was fine." The other was of the picture of our family that he has. She said he would carry it around with him and clutch it to him. That one about did us in.
The good news is, we got an update (finally). His case came out of the PGN office with one objection...which was taken care of down in Guatemala and the case resubmitted. Typically, cases come out with 3-5 objections which get bounced back to the family in the states. So, I'm glad things were so promptly handled on that front.
Once the case has its final approval, they say its usually another 8 weeks before we get an appointment to appear in court and finalize the adoption in Guatemala. The Jedi says we might not get to bring him home before his birthday in May. I *NEED* to be able to bring him home before his birthday in May.
Two unrelated thoughts before I close. Mother's papsmear came back abnormal. The nurse called it "precancerous." Personally, because i'm good at living in denial, I'm thinking this means they do a hysterectomy as planned and there's no further issue. Smurf thinks that this means she actually does have cervical cancer, but it in the early stages and so hopefully hasn't spread yet. This is going to sound bizarre... but I'm really praying that Mother sees a seagull sometime today. They are her favorite birds, and I know that she'll take it as a sign that everything is going to be all right. It doesn't have to be a real seagull, though we do get them wheeling around parking lots in December and Janurary for some migratory reason I'll never figure out. But any image of a seagull. She needs a little encouragement that way.
Lastly, the trees are still covered with ice. The tree tops look loaded with diamonds in the sunlight. Our backyard trees have just been full of small birds flitting about this morning. One even flew over to the school room window and almost hovered for a moment before darting away. (yes, i know they can't really hover, i did say almost). I wish I had a bird feeder. If any of you know a nice link with instructions for making an EASY one, I'd love to see it.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day
The Jedi sent me these for a card today. I would share what he wrote, but I don't have his permission, and I know how private he is. Therefore, I will just share these instead.
Check these out in this order:
I type, therefore...
This could also be titled, I have a keyboard and access to the interet, which as far as I'm concerned gives me liscense to ramble. Sweetling can spell lisence properly. I know, cause it was on her sticky word list for a while and so she'd spell it every week when I quized her on her spelling list for the week. Now, from this process, Sweetling learned how to spell lisence. Mommy learned...that sticky words is an effective teaching technique for other people.
ONE (yes I do have some specific points to make)
A huge giant enormous thank you for everyone who called me, IM'd me, emailed me, or posted a comment to me in the last two weeks. Honestly, I wrote a couple of not so happy entries, and I was literally flooded with friends checking in on me and making sure I was all right. Now, at the time, I exploited my kind friends by taking the opportunity to whine even more. But, looking back, I realize how sweet you all were, and how blessed I was by your compassion.
TWO
You all are great loving friends, but all you all whine too much about the tag game. ;) I had a great time with it, and loved reading everyone else's tag. Thanks to the three that I tagged that were good sports enough to follow through with it. Even if two of those young women were too "cool" to do so on their own blogs, lest their peer group see that they do associate with people as dorky as me.
Also, let me point out that being threatened to be chased around with a spoon by a man that I've never met is a unique and interesting experience. (Nevermind the fact that I've silently stalked his blog entries more than once. Christopher Robin already accuses me of being a voyeur.) Any way, thank you Steven for that special comment. *grin* Behold the power of the internet.
THREE
I love snow days. (Sorry CR). Everything in my life got cancelled this week, so I've gotten to stay home from many of my commitments. (No AHG monday, no dance last night, no WoW today, no choir tonight). Now, I normally like all of these things, but you all know I needed a vacation. Apparantly ice storms are my ticket to stay home and veg for a few days. (Yeah, I did spend nearly 5 hours on the road trying to run errands before the ice hit yesterday, and was almost successful). But still, the Piglet goes wee wee wee all the way home.
Plus, it is simply beautiful outside. I stood at the kitchen window this morning in my bathrobe looking out at it. The maple tree in our front yard is just transformed into this delicate blown glass sculpture. I'm so used to thinking that trees are bare during the winter, but our maple is covered with little red buds that make each branch a work of art. The evergreens are bowed under the weight of the snow and ice. Sweetling says they are bowing to God. The sky was a hushed powder blue with the softest kisses of blushing clouds encirling the treeline. Even the ugliness of the utility pole and its tangle of power cables that stands at the corner of our driveway became strings of sparkling icicles.
FOUR
I had a most wonderful weekend. Sweetling stayed the weekend with some friends from church, and the Jedi and I went to a marriage conference. Let me explain, no, there is too much...let me sum up. First, the speakers were great. One speaker in particular was just hysterical. I missed parts of what he said, because I was too busy laughing over the last thing he said. I never in my life thought I'd sincerely say "I hope we get to hear the mime again", especially since the Jedi readily agreed with that bizarre statement. Second, the Jedi and I spent nearly all weekend talking to each other, working out a few past issues, and really reconnecting with each other. I came home really energized and "up"...but at the same time felt a little wrung out because of how deep the conversations had been. (Another reason I'm glad snow and ice have cancelled my entire week).
The weekend was arguable one of the best weekends I've had in a long, long time. (for some future post, I'll have to make a nice long list of weekends I've really enjoyed and why)
(What number am I on?) FIVE
I've done enough ranting about the difficulties I had getting on my blog the past couple days. But, since I am high maintenance, I'm going to rant some more. Apparantly, although "chocolateer" is the name I post as, its NOT my user name for Blogspot. Ergo, every variation of the password I would have thought I would have used with the username of Chocolateer didn't work. And, also ergo, neither did any 'forgot your password' emails come to me. They could have TOLD me that this was an invalid username....unless some other person who *does* have the username of chocolateer got three password emails in their inbox. So, I finally get back on the school room computer (its ups died, and I was using the laptop...hence some of the frustration because the school room computer saves my user names and passwords. Yes, I know, the height of security I am). Anyway, back on the schoolroom computer. My blogspot welcome screen says "Hi Xuan"; my username is a dnd character name, and I post as Chocolateer. Its just layers upon layers of treachory out there.
Apparantly chanting "mine! mine! mine!" works when you are two and are tugging on a toy. It loses its effectiveness when you are 36 and are screaming at a laptop screen.
Lastly, am I the only dyslexic who cannot correctly type in the wicked random letters to leave a comment for others? I swear I type slowly, carefully, deciphering the swimming confusing jumble of letters. And I always, always, get denied the first time. I can usually get it the second or third time though. If not I give up.
SIX (I had to scroll up again).
My tablet PC is all set to go. It lives on my school desk next to my regular PC. This is so I can have my regular PC on and open to meebo and to whatever rp i'm involved in AND hold my tablet PC on my lap so I can draw while I'm waiting for my turn to post. I tried to claim that this made me a nerd, but Chessclub essentially said that 'nerd' was too intelligent of an appilation for me. We both agreed that this did not make me a geek, because that would imply a degree of compupter competency everyone knows I don't possess. So, do I get left with 'dork'? I'm always a dork. I want a new stereotype.
SEVEN
I have a wretched body-image. Christopher Robin wanted a picture of me to share with peeps she's rping with. I searched to try to find a photo of me taken within the last two years, that I could live with. I failed. Eventually she cropped me out of a group shot taken this summer. I can live with her pic cause it was a bit on the low res side (since it was just a small piece of a bigger pic) so it was indistinct enough that it didn't make me cringe to see it.
EIGHT
Because this blog was supposed to be upbeat I refuse to end it on my lack of self-esteem. If I knew how to make a photo come in at the END of my blog, instead of at the top, I'd put in a photo of baby pandas. But we've already determined that I'm not geek enough to do that.
In close, I'll ask you the same question Sweetling asked me this morning. (Well, this question came after, "Mommy, how do you get the towel to stay up?" cause she came in to use the bathroom right after I had gotten out of the shower.) Anyway, her question was, "If you were a dog, who would you want your owner to be?"
ONE (yes I do have some specific points to make)
A huge giant enormous thank you for everyone who called me, IM'd me, emailed me, or posted a comment to me in the last two weeks. Honestly, I wrote a couple of not so happy entries, and I was literally flooded with friends checking in on me and making sure I was all right. Now, at the time, I exploited my kind friends by taking the opportunity to whine even more. But, looking back, I realize how sweet you all were, and how blessed I was by your compassion.
TWO
You all are great loving friends, but all you all whine too much about the tag game. ;) I had a great time with it, and loved reading everyone else's tag. Thanks to the three that I tagged that were good sports enough to follow through with it. Even if two of those young women were too "cool" to do so on their own blogs, lest their peer group see that they do associate with people as dorky as me.
Also, let me point out that being threatened to be chased around with a spoon by a man that I've never met is a unique and interesting experience. (Nevermind the fact that I've silently stalked his blog entries more than once. Christopher Robin already accuses me of being a voyeur.) Any way, thank you Steven for that special comment. *grin* Behold the power of the internet.
THREE
I love snow days. (Sorry CR). Everything in my life got cancelled this week, so I've gotten to stay home from many of my commitments. (No AHG monday, no dance last night, no WoW today, no choir tonight). Now, I normally like all of these things, but you all know I needed a vacation. Apparantly ice storms are my ticket to stay home and veg for a few days. (Yeah, I did spend nearly 5 hours on the road trying to run errands before the ice hit yesterday, and was almost successful). But still, the Piglet goes wee wee wee all the way home.
Plus, it is simply beautiful outside. I stood at the kitchen window this morning in my bathrobe looking out at it. The maple tree in our front yard is just transformed into this delicate blown glass sculpture. I'm so used to thinking that trees are bare during the winter, but our maple is covered with little red buds that make each branch a work of art. The evergreens are bowed under the weight of the snow and ice. Sweetling says they are bowing to God. The sky was a hushed powder blue with the softest kisses of blushing clouds encirling the treeline. Even the ugliness of the utility pole and its tangle of power cables that stands at the corner of our driveway became strings of sparkling icicles.
FOUR
I had a most wonderful weekend. Sweetling stayed the weekend with some friends from church, and the Jedi and I went to a marriage conference. Let me explain, no, there is too much...let me sum up. First, the speakers were great. One speaker in particular was just hysterical. I missed parts of what he said, because I was too busy laughing over the last thing he said. I never in my life thought I'd sincerely say "I hope we get to hear the mime again", especially since the Jedi readily agreed with that bizarre statement. Second, the Jedi and I spent nearly all weekend talking to each other, working out a few past issues, and really reconnecting with each other. I came home really energized and "up"...but at the same time felt a little wrung out because of how deep the conversations had been. (Another reason I'm glad snow and ice have cancelled my entire week).
The weekend was arguable one of the best weekends I've had in a long, long time. (for some future post, I'll have to make a nice long list of weekends I've really enjoyed and why)
(What number am I on?) FIVE
I've done enough ranting about the difficulties I had getting on my blog the past couple days. But, since I am high maintenance, I'm going to rant some more. Apparantly, although "chocolateer" is the name I post as, its NOT my user name for Blogspot. Ergo, every variation of the password I would have thought I would have used with the username of Chocolateer didn't work. And, also ergo, neither did any 'forgot your password' emails come to me. They could have TOLD me that this was an invalid username....unless some other person who *does* have the username of chocolateer got three password emails in their inbox. So, I finally get back on the school room computer (its ups died, and I was using the laptop...hence some of the frustration because the school room computer saves my user names and passwords. Yes, I know, the height of security I am). Anyway, back on the schoolroom computer. My blogspot welcome screen says "Hi Xuan"; my username is a dnd character name, and I post as Chocolateer. Its just layers upon layers of treachory out there.
Apparantly chanting "mine! mine! mine!" works when you are two and are tugging on a toy. It loses its effectiveness when you are 36 and are screaming at a laptop screen.
Lastly, am I the only dyslexic who cannot correctly type in the wicked random letters to leave a comment for others? I swear I type slowly, carefully, deciphering the swimming confusing jumble of letters. And I always, always, get denied the first time. I can usually get it the second or third time though. If not I give up.
SIX (I had to scroll up again).
My tablet PC is all set to go. It lives on my school desk next to my regular PC. This is so I can have my regular PC on and open to meebo and to whatever rp i'm involved in AND hold my tablet PC on my lap so I can draw while I'm waiting for my turn to post. I tried to claim that this made me a nerd, but Chessclub essentially said that 'nerd' was too intelligent of an appilation for me. We both agreed that this did not make me a geek, because that would imply a degree of compupter competency everyone knows I don't possess. So, do I get left with 'dork'? I'm always a dork. I want a new stereotype.
SEVEN
I have a wretched body-image. Christopher Robin wanted a picture of me to share with peeps she's rping with. I searched to try to find a photo of me taken within the last two years, that I could live with. I failed. Eventually she cropped me out of a group shot taken this summer. I can live with her pic cause it was a bit on the low res side (since it was just a small piece of a bigger pic) so it was indistinct enough that it didn't make me cringe to see it.
EIGHT
Because this blog was supposed to be upbeat I refuse to end it on my lack of self-esteem. If I knew how to make a photo come in at the END of my blog, instead of at the top, I'd put in a photo of baby pandas. But we've already determined that I'm not geek enough to do that.
In close, I'll ask you the same question Sweetling asked me this morning. (Well, this question came after, "Mommy, how do you get the towel to stay up?" cause she came in to use the bathroom right after I had gotten out of the shower.) Anyway, her question was, "If you were a dog, who would you want your owner to be?"
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Victory is MINE!!!
The computer tried to lock me out of my blog for nearly two days, but with great amounts of perserverence, I have prevailed! Fear me, electronic harbringer of evil, fear me.
I have lots to say, but its taken me two days to recover access to my account. Now its late, I have a cold. I'm drugging myself and going to bed. I will save all my happy news for tomorrow. And it is happy. Happy happy news. Yay.
I have lots to say, but its taken me two days to recover access to my account. Now its late, I have a cold. I'm drugging myself and going to bed. I will save all my happy news for tomorrow. And it is happy. Happy happy news. Yay.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Tagged
I love tag. So, I'm it. Here's how it works. (I think). Its an alphabet tag and I'm answering the implied questions for each letter.
A=Available? I think this means "to date". Nope. Happily married. :)
B=Best Friend? The Jedi. (see A)
C= Cake or pie Chocolate Cavity Maker Cake
D= Drink of choice I drink water through out the day, but have to start the day with a cup of hot chocolate made with milk from cocoa.
E= Essential item you use everyday - Computer. I'm a hopeless addict.
F=Favorite color - YELLOW
G= gummie bears or worms- Neither. No gummie anythings. Yucky gumminess. Gummie is like so NOT food. Its not even candy. It was some candy factory accident.
H= Hometown -Cincinnati
I = Indulgences - on line RPs. Duh.
J= January or February - Nuh huh. This is so not a fair question. It should be January, June or July? In which case I'd have to say June. Its lovely. Its beautiful. Its warm and sunny without being sweltering hot and miserable. June all the way.
K=Kids and Names - Vaya the elf whose on her own and getting married in May. Sweetling who is only doing science and projects on Thursdays from now on. E is for Energy who is *still* in Guatemala. Those of you who speak regularly to the HP can lift this situation up for me. I'm at the end of my faith. The manna in the dessert is seeming like pretty thin flakes right about now.
L= Life is incomplete without... My husband, my children, music, sunshine, fantasy, laughter, faith.
M= Marriage date - August 29, 1992
N=Number of siblings- I'm the oldest. Then Tornado, who now builds houses, owns a few acres in the middle of nowhere with no phone and a crazy mailcarrier (has anyone seen 'Funny Farm?) with three children. When my first niece was born, I thought there was no justice in the universe. How could Tornado have such a perfect, calm, sweet child. Then the second niece, and the nephew was born. Justice dished out two servings. Sixteen years after me, hear that, sixteen years, came the Smurf. When she was born, and I would take her for a walk or carry her in the mall, people would ask me if she was my baby. Now people ask her what college she's in, and what middle school I'm attending...and am I in the seventh or the eigth grade? Finally, in the line up...who so deserves a last but not least is the Dooooode. You have to say it that way. I have to see how his plan to hop the fence and snowboard down Mt Rumpke went.
O= Oranges or apples - Ok, first of all, no one says 'oranges and apples.' The correct expression is apples to oranges. Lushgirl, if you came up with the questions, you have my deepest, most profound apologies. If *you* came up with the questions, then I think they are all wonderful. If you didn't then I feel free to grouse. I'm in a grousy mood today. I'm going to blame in on the fact that I haven't done morning devotionals in a week. Bear asked me this morning who had pee-ed in my wheaties. To which I replied that I am like frosted mini-wheats, sweet and sugary on one side and coarse harsh bran on the other. Bear threatened to flatten me with a spoon.
P= Phobias or Fears -Spoons. No, really...um...crowds. I hate feeling lost in a crowd. Nightmares. Though Smurf has me beat on those, a race I gladly bow out of. Scary movies. Hate those. Can't watch them.
Q= Favorite Quote - "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything through prayer and with thanksgiving, present your request to the Lord and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. " --though I could do better with applying it lately.
R= Reason to smile -Sweetling, humorous friends, being a stay home mom, joy
S= Season - spring and early summer. I love being outdoors and going for walks or just sitting in the park. Autumn for its colors and its semi-warm weather comes in second.
T= Tag 3 or 4 people - Christopher Robin, Smurf, who so wont do it, Vaya, cause she needs to blog so that I know whats going on in her life, and I'll try for Duckie. I can literally hear her eyes rolling. I miss hearing those eye rolls. She's not on IM anymore. Or she's not on IM anymore to speak to us non-fey.
U= Unknown fact about me: Hhmmm...i was Air Force ROTC for one brief season. I started college as a physics major and carried a 4.o the first two quarters of my first year. I wanted to go into NASA and the AirForce was a nice path to that, or so I reasoned at the time. Then I woke up and realized that I really wanted a life and a family (eventually) more than a career. I ended up the year with less than a 4.0. (I think a got a B in calc cause it was a morning class and attendance and homework counted. Something like that. It might have been a C.) I also went to a party after spring finals in aluminum foil and saran wrap on a dare.
V= Vegetable you don’t like - Lima beans.
W= Worst habit - Procrastination.
X= X-rays - My wrist when I was seven and fell off the monkey bars and fractured it. Mammaw made me a yellow gingum sling with ric rac and little mouse appliques. My elbow when I was in fourth or fifth grade and thought I could leap a stone wall in a single bound to get to the swings first. Another fracture. This time we were living in Canton. No Mammaw around. Grandma B claimed that she saw the whole thing and that I only fell on grass, so I was fine and I should stop crying. She got all over Mother for insisting that something was wrong and that we needed an XRay. It turned out to be a fracture, but since Grandma B could never, ever be in the wrong, it turned out that it must have been my fault after all. I must have bird bones and I should therefore be restricted from lots of other physical activities. Dad, of course, agreed whole heartedly with Grandma B. Tornado and I ignored it when no one was watching. Unless, of course, someone tackled me too hard when we were playing football in the backyard. Then Tornado got all *over* their case...no matter which team I was on. And since no one wanted to mess with Tornado, I got to play running back often. Last XRay was when I was an adult and had a ton, of UT infections. Like one every other month. They sent me to a urologist who pumped something into my blood through an IV. The plan was that it would filter out and they could then XRay my urinary track. It worked pretty well. I was allergic to the dye, but nothing major. Oh, and I had a slew of dental xrays. more than normal. I was born without most of my adult teeth (like, there were no buds to develop into adult teeth.) And so it caused lots of fun dental problems.
Y= Your favorite food -Ethnic foods, oriental and indian. And chocolate. Dark chocolate.
Z= Zodiac Sign - Dont do these. Lets think of something else for Z. Z is for.....Big Z, little z, what begins with Z? I do. I'm a zizzer-zazzer zuzz, as you can plainly see. Z is for the fact that Sweetling is now 8, and I *still* have Dr Suess' ABCs memorized. Maybe E is for Energy will like them too.
oh, and a shout out to Lushgirl, who tagged me and got me out of my 'i'm in a bad mood about my life, so all i want to do is rp all day. I even thought about blogging, but couldn't get motivated to write about *me*. Not the cheeriest of blogs, but its at least a little funny. I hope.
A=Available? I think this means "to date". Nope. Happily married. :)
B=Best Friend? The Jedi. (see A)
C= Cake or pie Chocolate Cavity Maker Cake
D= Drink of choice I drink water through out the day, but have to start the day with a cup of hot chocolate made with milk from cocoa.
E= Essential item you use everyday - Computer. I'm a hopeless addict.
F=Favorite color - YELLOW
G= gummie bears or worms- Neither. No gummie anythings. Yucky gumminess. Gummie is like so NOT food. Its not even candy. It was some candy factory accident.
H= Hometown -Cincinnati
I = Indulgences - on line RPs. Duh.
J= January or February - Nuh huh. This is so not a fair question. It should be January, June or July? In which case I'd have to say June. Its lovely. Its beautiful. Its warm and sunny without being sweltering hot and miserable. June all the way.
K=Kids and Names - Vaya the elf whose on her own and getting married in May. Sweetling who is only doing science and projects on Thursdays from now on. E is for Energy who is *still* in Guatemala. Those of you who speak regularly to the HP can lift this situation up for me. I'm at the end of my faith. The manna in the dessert is seeming like pretty thin flakes right about now.
L= Life is incomplete without... My husband, my children, music, sunshine, fantasy, laughter, faith.
M= Marriage date - August 29, 1992
N=Number of siblings- I'm the oldest. Then Tornado, who now builds houses, owns a few acres in the middle of nowhere with no phone and a crazy mailcarrier (has anyone seen 'Funny Farm?) with three children. When my first niece was born, I thought there was no justice in the universe. How could Tornado have such a perfect, calm, sweet child. Then the second niece, and the nephew was born. Justice dished out two servings. Sixteen years after me, hear that, sixteen years, came the Smurf. When she was born, and I would take her for a walk or carry her in the mall, people would ask me if she was my baby. Now people ask her what college she's in, and what middle school I'm attending...and am I in the seventh or the eigth grade? Finally, in the line up...who so deserves a last but not least is the Dooooode. You have to say it that way. I have to see how his plan to hop the fence and snowboard down Mt Rumpke went.
O= Oranges or apples - Ok, first of all, no one says 'oranges and apples.' The correct expression is apples to oranges. Lushgirl, if you came up with the questions, you have my deepest, most profound apologies. If *you* came up with the questions, then I think they are all wonderful. If you didn't then I feel free to grouse. I'm in a grousy mood today. I'm going to blame in on the fact that I haven't done morning devotionals in a week. Bear asked me this morning who had pee-ed in my wheaties. To which I replied that I am like frosted mini-wheats, sweet and sugary on one side and coarse harsh bran on the other. Bear threatened to flatten me with a spoon.
P= Phobias or Fears -Spoons. No, really...um...crowds. I hate feeling lost in a crowd. Nightmares. Though Smurf has me beat on those, a race I gladly bow out of. Scary movies. Hate those. Can't watch them.
Q= Favorite Quote - "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything through prayer and with thanksgiving, present your request to the Lord and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. " --though I could do better with applying it lately.
R= Reason to smile -Sweetling, humorous friends, being a stay home mom, joy
S= Season - spring and early summer. I love being outdoors and going for walks or just sitting in the park. Autumn for its colors and its semi-warm weather comes in second.
T= Tag 3 or 4 people - Christopher Robin, Smurf, who so wont do it, Vaya, cause she needs to blog so that I know whats going on in her life, and I'll try for Duckie. I can literally hear her eyes rolling. I miss hearing those eye rolls. She's not on IM anymore. Or she's not on IM anymore to speak to us non-fey.
U= Unknown fact about me: Hhmmm...i was Air Force ROTC for one brief season. I started college as a physics major and carried a 4.o the first two quarters of my first year. I wanted to go into NASA and the AirForce was a nice path to that, or so I reasoned at the time. Then I woke up and realized that I really wanted a life and a family (eventually) more than a career. I ended up the year with less than a 4.0. (I think a got a B in calc cause it was a morning class and attendance and homework counted. Something like that. It might have been a C.) I also went to a party after spring finals in aluminum foil and saran wrap on a dare.
V= Vegetable you don’t like - Lima beans.
W= Worst habit - Procrastination.
X= X-rays - My wrist when I was seven and fell off the monkey bars and fractured it. Mammaw made me a yellow gingum sling with ric rac and little mouse appliques. My elbow when I was in fourth or fifth grade and thought I could leap a stone wall in a single bound to get to the swings first. Another fracture. This time we were living in Canton. No Mammaw around. Grandma B claimed that she saw the whole thing and that I only fell on grass, so I was fine and I should stop crying. She got all over Mother for insisting that something was wrong and that we needed an XRay. It turned out to be a fracture, but since Grandma B could never, ever be in the wrong, it turned out that it must have been my fault after all. I must have bird bones and I should therefore be restricted from lots of other physical activities. Dad, of course, agreed whole heartedly with Grandma B. Tornado and I ignored it when no one was watching. Unless, of course, someone tackled me too hard when we were playing football in the backyard. Then Tornado got all *over* their case...no matter which team I was on. And since no one wanted to mess with Tornado, I got to play running back often. Last XRay was when I was an adult and had a ton, of UT infections. Like one every other month. They sent me to a urologist who pumped something into my blood through an IV. The plan was that it would filter out and they could then XRay my urinary track. It worked pretty well. I was allergic to the dye, but nothing major. Oh, and I had a slew of dental xrays. more than normal. I was born without most of my adult teeth (like, there were no buds to develop into adult teeth.) And so it caused lots of fun dental problems.
Y= Your favorite food -Ethnic foods, oriental and indian. And chocolate. Dark chocolate.
Z= Zodiac Sign - Dont do these. Lets think of something else for Z. Z is for.....Big Z, little z, what begins with Z? I do. I'm a zizzer-zazzer zuzz, as you can plainly see. Z is for the fact that Sweetling is now 8, and I *still* have Dr Suess' ABCs memorized. Maybe E is for Energy will like them too.
oh, and a shout out to Lushgirl, who tagged me and got me out of my 'i'm in a bad mood about my life, so all i want to do is rp all day. I even thought about blogging, but couldn't get motivated to write about *me*. Not the cheeriest of blogs, but its at least a little funny. I hope.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Forgiveness
In my life, I've forgiven many people for many different things. Not that I'm saying this to brag, but I'm saying this because I feel rotten. Well, maybe not rotten...but I feel like I *should* feel rotten. I've forgiven many people for many wrongs that were done to me...most of them, I know, just happened not because the people were intending to do me wrong, but just because the persons were human and falliable, and working under the strain of their own wounds and their own issues.
So, if I can forgive persons that wounded me, why do I harbor this on-going resentment towards one person in particular over, get this, a game? People who hurt me emotionally, physically, sexually, in my heart I've been able to forgive them. But this one person whose only crime is that this particular game isn't very fun anymore? Bitterness. And I smile and I'm polite, but deep down I just simmer. And the person isn't doing it on purpose. The person cares and thinks to make the game better for everyone.
And you know what, its a game, a game.
And I'm not angry for myself, which is what makes it difficult. Myself, its probably too easy for me to walk away from any situation whenever it gets uncomfortable or difficult. I am an expert at ditching and hiding. So, I'm angry for someone else, who's invested a lot of time and energy in this endeavor, who wanted to be able to do something like this for years, and who is reaping zero pleasure from it now.
Why am I writing this? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it'll just make things worse.
I feel like I need to forgive, and I can't seem to do that. I know a few of you that might read this have gone through the process of forgiving. Maybe I'm writing this in the hopes of getting a few tips.
At least a couple of you that read this will know exactly who and what I'm talking about. But you know how much I trust you, and I know you can keep my words in confidence.
So, if I can forgive persons that wounded me, why do I harbor this on-going resentment towards one person in particular over, get this, a game? People who hurt me emotionally, physically, sexually, in my heart I've been able to forgive them. But this one person whose only crime is that this particular game isn't very fun anymore? Bitterness. And I smile and I'm polite, but deep down I just simmer. And the person isn't doing it on purpose. The person cares and thinks to make the game better for everyone.
And you know what, its a game, a game.
And I'm not angry for myself, which is what makes it difficult. Myself, its probably too easy for me to walk away from any situation whenever it gets uncomfortable or difficult. I am an expert at ditching and hiding. So, I'm angry for someone else, who's invested a lot of time and energy in this endeavor, who wanted to be able to do something like this for years, and who is reaping zero pleasure from it now.
Why am I writing this? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it'll just make things worse.
I feel like I need to forgive, and I can't seem to do that. I know a few of you that might read this have gone through the process of forgiving. Maybe I'm writing this in the hopes of getting a few tips.
At least a couple of you that read this will know exactly who and what I'm talking about. But you know how much I trust you, and I know you can keep my words in confidence.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Color
I'm debating the color of Fawn's hair. I have currently two different color themes going on here. The majority of her hair has more of an amber tone to it. I'm not sure I'm pleased with it. A small patch near her ear is a bit more wheat in tone. Which do I want to go with. Here is her brief physical description:
With soft brown eyes, a quiet voice, and a lightly freckled face, Fawn seems aptly named. Her tawny hair hangs just past her shoulders, and is often pulled back from her face and held by a barrette. She is petite and exudes a sense of calm, gentleness, and inner beauty.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Captivating
I finished the last chapter of this book. My favorite quotes from the last page: (the book is full of pink highlighter, so i'm just doing the last page)
God really does want you to know who *you* are. He wants you to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going.
You are a woman. An image bearer of God. The Crown of Creation. You were chosen before time and space, and you are wholly and dearly loved.
You are dangerous in your beauty and your life-giving power. And you are needed.
You can be strong and tender. You speak to the world of God's mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship.
We need you. We need you to awaken to God more fully and to awaken to the desires of th eheart that he placed within you so that you will come alive to him and to the role that is yours to play.
Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Saved image
I went back to an earlier saved image and started working on hair instead. I wasn't happy with the freckles, or the lips, or the eyes.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Lists
1. I'm tired of this cold. I'm feeling much, much better today and yesterday than I have been in a while, but I'm *still* conjested and *still* not sleeping well at night because of it.
2. Christoper Robin is abbreviated CR. We have decided that this can also stand for Corruptive Rascal.
3. I've had the song First of May stuck in my head this morning. I'm blaming CR. I've been very, very careful not to sing it out loud with the Sweetling around.
4. I have a tablet PC. The Jedi has spent last week updating it and upgrading it. He's going to install art rage on it for me.
5. I have a tendancy to get myself over-involved. VBS committee has just started up. (I went to the VBS curriculum fair on Thursday, which I thoroughly enjoyed.) I want to be involved with crafts, decorating, kids dance team, and preschool lesson. That's FOUR areas. My eyes are bigger than my stomach (or certainly bigger than my schedule).
6. We had a phone consultation with a therapist from Children's Hospital last night. In November, E is for Energy had been moved from his orphanage home to a new orphanage. He hasn't been happy with the move and separation, and has been throwing temper tantrums. While this is a totally natural and understandable response, I'm anticipating more temper tantrums when he comes home with us. I want to have some plans in place, some tools, some well-thought out responses, for how to best cope with and help him handle his anger and frustrations.
7. I journaled about that this morning. I know, from past experience, several things.
a) I am *capable* of handling this in a very positive constructive way. I did a wonderful job with some situations as a preschool teacher with two of my students who were prone to huge, violent tantrums.
b) At home, I tend to avoid any form of confrontation. Its very, very difficult for me to be firm.
c) When I was growing up, any and all types of behavior from any male family member, regardless of age, was either excused, appeased, rationalized, or ignored. I need to make a conscious choice not to follow that example.
d) I can NOT turtle out on this. I WILL NOT turtle out on this. I WILL have a healthy approach already in place before E is for Energy comes home.
8. We have an appointment in early February for an office visit with the therapist. Me, Sweetling, and the Jedi are all going. We'll see her at least twice in the office before E is for Energy comes home. She's helping us put into place a family plan for E is for Energy's grief and fear based tantrums.
9. I need to look up P.C.I.T and see what that's all about.
10. I haven't gotten back to any art. I'm really unhappy with how Fawn is looking. I'm really pleased with how Richard looks. This is the time at which I'm tempted to give up the project. I need to make a commitment to finishing it.
11. I thought there was a scripture, a promise that God will equip you to handle any good work for which he has called you. But, I can't find it. I found three verses that were close, but not the specific encouragement that I really need right now.
12. This is from my journal this morning:
E is going to need me.
He is going to need my strength.
He is going to need my confidence.
He is going to need my consistancy.
He is going to need my presence.
He is going to need my love.
He is going to need my guidance.
He is going to need my boundaries.
He is going to need my discipline.
He is going to need my acceptence.
He is going to need my comfort.
He is going to need my understanding.
He is going to need my tenderness.
He is going to need my steadfastness.
He is going to need me to follow through.
He is going to need me to uphold consequences.
He is going to need my praises.
He is going to need me to stay engaged.
He is going to need to hear my voice.
He is going to need my embrace.
He is going to need me to provide structure.
He is going to need my bravery.
He is going to need my softness.
He is going to need my firmness.
He is going to need me to be his mother.
2. Christoper Robin is abbreviated CR. We have decided that this can also stand for Corruptive Rascal.
3. I've had the song First of May stuck in my head this morning. I'm blaming CR. I've been very, very careful not to sing it out loud with the Sweetling around.
4. I have a tablet PC. The Jedi has spent last week updating it and upgrading it. He's going to install art rage on it for me.
5. I have a tendancy to get myself over-involved. VBS committee has just started up. (I went to the VBS curriculum fair on Thursday, which I thoroughly enjoyed.) I want to be involved with crafts, decorating, kids dance team, and preschool lesson. That's FOUR areas. My eyes are bigger than my stomach (or certainly bigger than my schedule).
6. We had a phone consultation with a therapist from Children's Hospital last night. In November, E is for Energy had been moved from his orphanage home to a new orphanage. He hasn't been happy with the move and separation, and has been throwing temper tantrums. While this is a totally natural and understandable response, I'm anticipating more temper tantrums when he comes home with us. I want to have some plans in place, some tools, some well-thought out responses, for how to best cope with and help him handle his anger and frustrations.
7. I journaled about that this morning. I know, from past experience, several things.
a) I am *capable* of handling this in a very positive constructive way. I did a wonderful job with some situations as a preschool teacher with two of my students who were prone to huge, violent tantrums.
b) At home, I tend to avoid any form of confrontation. Its very, very difficult for me to be firm.
c) When I was growing up, any and all types of behavior from any male family member, regardless of age, was either excused, appeased, rationalized, or ignored. I need to make a conscious choice not to follow that example.
d) I can NOT turtle out on this. I WILL NOT turtle out on this. I WILL have a healthy approach already in place before E is for Energy comes home.
8. We have an appointment in early February for an office visit with the therapist. Me, Sweetling, and the Jedi are all going. We'll see her at least twice in the office before E is for Energy comes home. She's helping us put into place a family plan for E is for Energy's grief and fear based tantrums.
9. I need to look up P.C.I.T and see what that's all about.
10. I haven't gotten back to any art. I'm really unhappy with how Fawn is looking. I'm really pleased with how Richard looks. This is the time at which I'm tempted to give up the project. I need to make a commitment to finishing it.
11. I thought there was a scripture, a promise that God will equip you to handle any good work for which he has called you. But, I can't find it. I found three verses that were close, but not the specific encouragement that I really need right now.
12. This is from my journal this morning:
E is going to need me.
He is going to need my strength.
He is going to need my confidence.
He is going to need my consistancy.
He is going to need my presence.
He is going to need my love.
He is going to need my guidance.
He is going to need my boundaries.
He is going to need my discipline.
He is going to need my acceptence.
He is going to need my comfort.
He is going to need my understanding.
He is going to need my tenderness.
He is going to need my steadfastness.
He is going to need me to follow through.
He is going to need me to uphold consequences.
He is going to need my praises.
He is going to need me to stay engaged.
He is going to need to hear my voice.
He is going to need my embrace.
He is going to need me to provide structure.
He is going to need my bravery.
He is going to need my softness.
He is going to need my firmness.
He is going to need me to be his mother.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Freckleless Fawn
Some evil, evil person (smurf) convinced me that I could "totally do freckles." The evil person lied to me. Deceived me. Lured me with false hope only to laugh when my fragile little spirit was crushed.Freckles are HARD.
The good news is ... a) I'm feeling more like a human being and less like a miserable zombie, and b) I have new *tablet* PC cause the Jedi *loves* me.
Monday, January 22, 2007
The Jedi Council
It has been decreed that today is a sick day. There is not to be any school. There is not to be any errands. There is not to be any housework. There is to be rest. And naps. In fact, the official instructions were "You should both take some benedryl and sleep a lot."
Remember how Saturday morning I felt like I had been hit by a pick up truck driven by good ol boys with a dead dear strapped to the roof? Well, I've just been getting worse over the weekend. And, cause we were candidating a children's pastor, I've not gotten the rest I needed. I slept in Saturday, sewed hair on a frog, watched Gideon with Susan, then went to a planning meeting with our new Children's Pastor Saturday night. Sunday morning I dragged my sorry self out of bed, and was at church, smiling active, busy, leading preschool for 3 hours then hosting a luncheon for 1 hour and cleaning up afterwards. I came home and slept soundly for 2 hours then went back to church for the annual business meeting where the congregation was voting on the candidate. Then I came home, and crashed. (Well, I watched EMHE then crashed.) That's when the Jedi Council ruling got put into effect.
It occurs to me that laundry list of my weekend aren't the best reading, but I'm sick, so I don't have to produce quality writing.
I whined to the Jedi last night that my schedule was too full. I whined to CR this morning that my schedule was too full. Now I'm whining again on my blog.
And at CR's instructions, I'm posting what my schedule *is* for the next week. CR told me to triage. I whined. CR told me to post, and she'd triage. That's why she's called Christopher Robin.
Monday (today):
I was supposed to take Honey Bee to the dr this morning. I totally forgot. Honey Bee and the Jedi both called to remind me. I told Honey Bee that I couldn't, 'cause Sweetling and I are both sick. Honey Bee gets sick at the drop of a hat, and she totally doesn't need this right now.
I was supposed to go to the library to get books for tonight's AHG meeting. I mentioned to Sweetling that we were going to the library (a dearly loved trip by her). She sad "no library, no library". Let me tell you, if Sweetling doesn't want to go the the *library* then she is sicker than sick. (This discussion happened before the Jedi Council decree was made for the day.)
I AM going to AHG tonight. The other Tenderfoot leader is even sicker than me, so I don't have a decent sub. I would call Telephone and see if she would take over for me, cause she'd totally love what we're doing tonight, but Telephone is also even worse off physically than me right now. Maybe we'll get hit with an ice storm and the meeting will get cancelled.
Tuesday:
Sweetling is signed up to participate in a regional spelling bee held up in Middletown. If we're still as sick tomorrow as we are today, we prolly won't go.
HoneyBee needs a ride to another dr tomorrow. They're doing a urinary track thing with a camera. They told her she wouldn't be able to drive. I need to call some other church women and line up a ride for her. (Not Telephone, cause she's having her own health issues.)
Dance is at night. The Jedi has said *IF* I go to dance, I shouldn't practice, I should just watch.
Wednesday:
Wow is in the morning. We won't be going if we're still sick.
I'm supposed to take a meal to a family. The mom just had open chest surgery. I think I'll ask the Jedi to pick up a gift certificate or order them a pizza. Recovering from open chest surgery and being exposed to germs don't mix well.
Choir is at night. I can't sing. I could go and listen. But I think I'll stay home with Sweetling.
Thursday
Conference call in the afternoon. No biggie.
VBS curriculum fair at night. I'm totally going to this. I love seeing the different curriculums. Plus they have cool door prizes. And I'll get a vote in which VBS we do this summer.
Friday
Gaming at night
Saturday
Skype game session at night
Sunday
preschool sunday school
preschool church
first meeting for children's choir at night
Monday
AHG Tenderfoot mom's meeting at my house
Tuesday
dance
Wednesday
wow
choir
Thursday
free
Friday
movie night at CR's
Saturday
Skype game session
Sunday
preschool sunday school
regular church
Superbowl
There ya go Christopher Robin. That's the next two weeks of my life ;)
Remember how Saturday morning I felt like I had been hit by a pick up truck driven by good ol boys with a dead dear strapped to the roof? Well, I've just been getting worse over the weekend. And, cause we were candidating a children's pastor, I've not gotten the rest I needed. I slept in Saturday, sewed hair on a frog, watched Gideon with Susan, then went to a planning meeting with our new Children's Pastor Saturday night. Sunday morning I dragged my sorry self out of bed, and was at church, smiling active, busy, leading preschool for 3 hours then hosting a luncheon for 1 hour and cleaning up afterwards. I came home and slept soundly for 2 hours then went back to church for the annual business meeting where the congregation was voting on the candidate. Then I came home, and crashed. (Well, I watched EMHE then crashed.) That's when the Jedi Council ruling got put into effect.
It occurs to me that laundry list of my weekend aren't the best reading, but I'm sick, so I don't have to produce quality writing.
I whined to the Jedi last night that my schedule was too full. I whined to CR this morning that my schedule was too full. Now I'm whining again on my blog.
And at CR's instructions, I'm posting what my schedule *is* for the next week. CR told me to triage. I whined. CR told me to post, and she'd triage. That's why she's called Christopher Robin.
Monday (today):
I was supposed to take Honey Bee to the dr this morning. I totally forgot. Honey Bee and the Jedi both called to remind me. I told Honey Bee that I couldn't, 'cause Sweetling and I are both sick. Honey Bee gets sick at the drop of a hat, and she totally doesn't need this right now.
I was supposed to go to the library to get books for tonight's AHG meeting. I mentioned to Sweetling that we were going to the library (a dearly loved trip by her). She sad "no library, no library". Let me tell you, if Sweetling doesn't want to go the the *library* then she is sicker than sick. (This discussion happened before the Jedi Council decree was made for the day.)
I AM going to AHG tonight. The other Tenderfoot leader is even sicker than me, so I don't have a decent sub. I would call Telephone and see if she would take over for me, cause she'd totally love what we're doing tonight, but Telephone is also even worse off physically than me right now. Maybe we'll get hit with an ice storm and the meeting will get cancelled.
Tuesday:
Sweetling is signed up to participate in a regional spelling bee held up in Middletown. If we're still as sick tomorrow as we are today, we prolly won't go.
HoneyBee needs a ride to another dr tomorrow. They're doing a urinary track thing with a camera. They told her she wouldn't be able to drive. I need to call some other church women and line up a ride for her. (Not Telephone, cause she's having her own health issues.)
Dance is at night. The Jedi has said *IF* I go to dance, I shouldn't practice, I should just watch.
Wednesday:
Wow is in the morning. We won't be going if we're still sick.
I'm supposed to take a meal to a family. The mom just had open chest surgery. I think I'll ask the Jedi to pick up a gift certificate or order them a pizza. Recovering from open chest surgery and being exposed to germs don't mix well.
Choir is at night. I can't sing. I could go and listen. But I think I'll stay home with Sweetling.
Thursday
Conference call in the afternoon. No biggie.
VBS curriculum fair at night. I'm totally going to this. I love seeing the different curriculums. Plus they have cool door prizes. And I'll get a vote in which VBS we do this summer.
Friday
Gaming at night
Saturday
Skype game session at night
Sunday
preschool sunday school
preschool church
first meeting for children's choir at night
Monday
AHG Tenderfoot mom's meeting at my house
Tuesday
dance
Wednesday
wow
choir
Thursday
free
Friday
movie night at CR's
Saturday
Skype game session
Sunday
preschool sunday school
regular church
Superbowl
There ya go Christopher Robin. That's the next two weeks of my life ;)
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Colds, guilt, motherhood, and art
Monday was MLK day. We didn't have school. No one had school. Most schools were closed in honor of a great man who desired justice, fairness, who struggled peacefully and at great cost to have these ideals realized in a nation which *claimed* equality, but who victimized and oppressed many of its citizens. But that's not why we didn't have school. We didn't have school because Smurf didn't have school and said "come over and pick me up. We'll go hang out at Christopher Robin's house and make Vaxia characters."
Tuesday we did some school in the morning, then we left at 10 to pick up Honey Bee. Honey Bee had a doctor appointment that we drove her too. (I packed a school bag, and sweetling did some assignments in the waiting room, some.) We got back to our house a little before 2. We ate lunch (that hadn't happened yet). And did some more school. At 3:25, we attempted a math semester assessment. (which means i gave sweetling her assessment and left the room to go do laundry and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.) I came back in at 4 and sweetling had gotten 4 problems finished. I was a bit frustrated. A bit. CR can tell you all about it. At any rate, we didn't get nearly the amount of school accomplished that day as I had hoped for. Sweetling wound up sitting in the schoolroom at her desk with her math until it was dinner time. Still wasn't finished.
Wednesday. Wednesday is my WOW meetings. Sweetling lost her morning free time and worked before we left on the math that she didn't get finished yesterday. So, we went to wow in the morning, took a Christmas tree back to CR's house. Then came home and got a nice solid afternoon of schooling in. I was pleased.
Thursday was a great school day. Got everything on our list done, but we're still behind for the week. We did take time to do some cool math mind bender puzzles, because we came across them and she was so excited about them. Thursday night Sweetling starts complaining about a sore throat. We give her some cold meds before bed.
Friday. Sweetling wakes up sick. I also wake up with a sore throat and a headache. Sweetling is moaning and carrying on and refusing to speak. I decide, based on how I feel, that we probably have the same thing, and she's just being over dramatic. I give her some cold meds, and set her at the school list for the day. She takes a nap during lunch break, something that she never ever does. But we had a really productive morning, and we only have a *few* things to finish up. So, in the afternoon, I have her work some more. Now, most of her afternoon work is things that she can do on her own, with a minimum of supervision from me. So, not only do I set her back on her school work, but I refuse to give up the school room computer for her to use. (Two of her assignments are on line activities). Instead, I bring up the laptop and set it up at her desk, cause i want to use my computer to play on vaxia and continue to work on the character portraits I've been doing the past few days. (see the 12 previous posts.) Sweetling sits at her little desk with the lap top and works while Mommy plays. Sweetling gets done with her school work early, watches a couple tv shows, then goes back to bed and falls asleep for the second time that day.
Last night we had Family Night at church which is part of the planned activities for candidating a new children's pastor this weekend. Sweetling wakes up from her nap, and really wants to go. By the end of the night, I'm starting to feel worse. I still come home and play on vaxia and mess with my drawing more...even though i can tell i should just take cold meds and go to bed. Eventually I do just that.
I wake up at 4:50 this morning cause i can't breathe and i feel like crap. I take a second dose of antihistimines and go back to bed. I wake up at 10:30 this morning feeling like I've been hit by a pick up truck. I drag myself up to the bathroom, take more meds. Make hot chocolate and immediately feel that horrible, sinking, mother guilt that I made Sweetling do school yesterday even though she didn't feel well.
Now i'm going to make a second cup of hot chocolate. I wish I could say my confession makes me feel a little better, but it doesn't really.
Horrible sinking mother guilt is the pits for which there is no cure.
Tuesday we did some school in the morning, then we left at 10 to pick up Honey Bee. Honey Bee had a doctor appointment that we drove her too. (I packed a school bag, and sweetling did some assignments in the waiting room, some.) We got back to our house a little before 2. We ate lunch (that hadn't happened yet). And did some more school. At 3:25, we attempted a math semester assessment. (which means i gave sweetling her assessment and left the room to go do laundry and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.) I came back in at 4 and sweetling had gotten 4 problems finished. I was a bit frustrated. A bit. CR can tell you all about it. At any rate, we didn't get nearly the amount of school accomplished that day as I had hoped for. Sweetling wound up sitting in the schoolroom at her desk with her math until it was dinner time. Still wasn't finished.
Wednesday. Wednesday is my WOW meetings. Sweetling lost her morning free time and worked before we left on the math that she didn't get finished yesterday. So, we went to wow in the morning, took a Christmas tree back to CR's house. Then came home and got a nice solid afternoon of schooling in. I was pleased.
Thursday was a great school day. Got everything on our list done, but we're still behind for the week. We did take time to do some cool math mind bender puzzles, because we came across them and she was so excited about them. Thursday night Sweetling starts complaining about a sore throat. We give her some cold meds before bed.
Friday. Sweetling wakes up sick. I also wake up with a sore throat and a headache. Sweetling is moaning and carrying on and refusing to speak. I decide, based on how I feel, that we probably have the same thing, and she's just being over dramatic. I give her some cold meds, and set her at the school list for the day. She takes a nap during lunch break, something that she never ever does. But we had a really productive morning, and we only have a *few* things to finish up. So, in the afternoon, I have her work some more. Now, most of her afternoon work is things that she can do on her own, with a minimum of supervision from me. So, not only do I set her back on her school work, but I refuse to give up the school room computer for her to use. (Two of her assignments are on line activities). Instead, I bring up the laptop and set it up at her desk, cause i want to use my computer to play on vaxia and continue to work on the character portraits I've been doing the past few days. (see the 12 previous posts.) Sweetling sits at her little desk with the lap top and works while Mommy plays. Sweetling gets done with her school work early, watches a couple tv shows, then goes back to bed and falls asleep for the second time that day.
Last night we had Family Night at church which is part of the planned activities for candidating a new children's pastor this weekend. Sweetling wakes up from her nap, and really wants to go. By the end of the night, I'm starting to feel worse. I still come home and play on vaxia and mess with my drawing more...even though i can tell i should just take cold meds and go to bed. Eventually I do just that.
I wake up at 4:50 this morning cause i can't breathe and i feel like crap. I take a second dose of antihistimines and go back to bed. I wake up at 10:30 this morning feeling like I've been hit by a pick up truck. I drag myself up to the bathroom, take more meds. Make hot chocolate and immediately feel that horrible, sinking, mother guilt that I made Sweetling do school yesterday even though she didn't feel well.
Now i'm going to make a second cup of hot chocolate. I wish I could say my confession makes me feel a little better, but it doesn't really.
Horrible sinking mother guilt is the pits for which there is no cure.
Friday, January 19, 2007
The pox.
My freckles look like the pox. This entry could also be titled "I should take some cold meds and go to bed".
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