Friday, January 17, 2014
The World According to Jupiter
I know what that is! I'm ready! I'm ready! Here I am! Ready! Ready!
All is good and right with the world.
Oh yeah, this thing? This thing we are doing right now? This thing is the way it is done.
There. There it is. It is right THERE. THERE. No, don't pull me; my muscles are frozen in place. It is RIGHT THERE. THERE. THERE. Right THERE.
That's right. You better run.
SWEET HEAVEN HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!
Hey! Hey you! Hey you right there! Hey! I'm talking to you! Run, you! Why don't you run? Disrespectful creature. Hey!
The Other Dog:
Hey there. Hey baby. Hey handsome. Hey....come on over and play. I'll show you how to play, you sweet girl, you handsome boy. I'm not picky... come on over and play.
Who's the dog? I'm the dog! Can't catch the dog! Look at me! Look at me go! Can't catch me! Look at me sit. I sit so nice....come a little closer human...see how I'm sitting? PSYCH!!!! Can't catch me! I'm the dog!!!
What is that? I'm not wearing that. Gangstas don't wear coats. Ok, fine. You have it on me, but now I don't want to go outside anymore. How you like them apples?
The Dog Food:
What is that? I'm not eating that. I smelled what you ate, and it isn't that. I have no interest in that. At least, not while you are watching.
The Squeak Toy:
Squeak! Squeak! My squeak! Look at me with my squeak! I have a squeak! My squeak!
The Rawhide Bone:
Bone! Bone! My bone! Look at me with my bone! I have a bone! My bone! I must take my bone outside and parade around the yard with it.
Ball! Ball! I see the ball! You have the ball! Yes! Ball! .........Where did the ball go? I don't understand. What do you want me to do? I'm so confused. I'm just gonna bite my butt.
I hate you. I hate you all.
The Human Food:
I smell good things. I smell good things and no human is in the kitchen. The good things are mine.
The Garbage Can:
I smell good things. I smell a whole smorgasbord of good things. I must stick my face in it and feast.
Doomed! We are all doomed! Doooooommmmmed. Doooommmmed.
The Laundry Machines:
The thunderstorm is inside! Doomed! We are all doomed! Dooooommmed. Dooooooooooooooommmmm.