Facebook Fast

I've been nearly a week without Facebook. Voluntarily.

Why?

Because I'm fasting from Facebook until Easter.

Why?

Because, during Lent, my church does a "Focus 40" devotional together. During this time, we are each asked to consider giving one thing up to help us focus spiritually.

As I was sitting in church, listening to the teaching on fasting, immediately Facebook came to mind. I do want to refocus myself. I thought about it, and realized that during the day, I'm often composing short Facebook messages in my head, even if I don't get around to posting them as updates. There's nothing wrong with that, but I realize I think about what I'm going to say on Facebook way more than I pray. Way more.

So, during lent, the goal is each time I find myself thinking about what status update I could put up on Facebook, I'm going to take that opportunity to talk with God and thank him for the many blessings that I have.

When Toa of Boy does something funny (which is often), I take the opportunity to thank God for my wonderful son. And I give Toa a hug, if I can catch him, and tell him how much I appreciate him.

When I'm tempted to post something whiney about housework, instead I pray and thank God for the blessing of my home, for all the things we have, for the opportunity to stay home.

When I'm at Tae Kwon Do and thinking about posting an update about my toe jam, instead I stop and thank God for my health, for my flexibility, for my strength.

So far its made me much more mindful and appreciative of my blessings; it's kept my attitude positive and my spirit sweet; and its helped me to pray more frequently and more regularly than ever.

Wifey Wednesday: Mirror, Mirror....

I went through three outfits this morning, not including the clothes I pulled off the hanger, then put back without even trying them on.

No, I wasn't shopping. No, it isn't really a special occasion.

I just couldn't find an outfit I was happy with, despite the fact that my 'closet' is an entire side of a small basement room that is packed full of clothes.

Sometime, late in this process, I had to stop and wonder, just why am I doing this?

It isn't to impress my husband, not entirely. My husband does an AMAZING job of letting me know how lovely he finds me. But, as I was going back and forth between two different necklaces, I can't claim this is to impress my husband....since he really doesn't even like me wearing jewelry. (He says that jewelry is a distraction from my face. How sweet is that?)

And it isn't to impress, or compete with, an old friend from college who's in town for a visit. Really, if I were seriously struggling with my weight or body image, she would be one of the first people I would run to for help. So, I don't feel the need to seem perfect around her.

And it certainly isn't to impress the strangers at the restaurant we'll be going to tonight.

So, what was it?

I don't know for sure. I only knew that I really needed to feel good about how I looked today.

It reminded me of something I had read a few years ago, in a book called Captivating. Adam and Eve were both created in the image of God, therefore, both man and woman have unique characteristics which they reveal about God's nature through their own nature. Among other things....

A woman is created to reveal God's beauty.

It's why the pioneering women lived in little sod houses, yet carefully stitched together scraps of fabric to make pretty curtains for their one tiny window. Why women for centuries scatter a few flower seeds along the edges of their sustenance vegetable gardens. Why a woman can't help but try to catch a glimpse of herself in each reflective surface she happens to pass.

We are created to reflect and reveal God's beauty, and the beauty of His creation.

Yet, we are fallen, and we live in a fallen world. And that can cause us no end of frustration and consternation.

In our hearts, somewhere deep, we carry a yearning for beauty and we desire that for ourselves, and we desire to bring that to the environment around us. But we, and our world, are not only imperfect, but flawed. When that core desire clashes with the limits of reality, we develop all sorts of defense mechanisms to deal with it.

We can become obsessive about it, going on diet after diet or buying clothes and beauty products well beyond reason for our means or our circumstances.

We can become despondent about it, dwell in despair and give up trying...because sometimes its easier not to try than to try and continuously fail.

We can turn to some other outlet, developing all sorts of addictions, in an effort to avoid the stress and uncertainty.

We can be destroyed by it. Eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, out of control addictions---so many of these cancers are germinated and fed by the discrepancy between our desire for beauty and our reality.

And just to be clear, when I say "our desire for beauty", I do not mean a desire to look like a super-model. Fundamentally, our desire for beauty is something good and healthy. The desire for beauty can, and should, take many forms. A desire to be physically attractive, desire to be a beautiful person, a desire to create a lovely environment around ourselves. All these goals are good, and worthy to be pursued. As long as a healthy balance presides over that pursuit.

So, where does this leave us, and how does it impact our marriages?

First, I think we need to confess to ourselves and to our Lord any sin that this conflict has led us into. Bitterness, avoidance, excessiveness. I'm not saying this to heap more guilt on anyone's shoulders. Heaven knows, if we hadn't felt so guilty about 'not being good enough', none of us would have struggled with most of these issues in the first place. So, don't read the word 'confess'  and either turn off your computer or start crying, or both. But, it is important to be able to honestly face what we struggle with so that we can be healed, and learn to move beyond it.

Second, I think we sometimes need to get additional help in the healing process. This can be from a prayer circle, a mentor, some quality reading material, a counselor, or a support group. I know personally several women who were genuinely transformed when they allowed themselves to face, get help, and work through an area of struggle. Don't sell yourself short. Don't pretend like a problem isn't really a problem. Do what you need to do to be the strong, beautiful woman God has created you do be.

Third, we really, really need to let go of unrealistic expectations. You know the kind I mean. We create in our minds some fictional super-woman. We take the components of many good role models around us, and roll them all together into this impossible standard we set for ourselves. And then we beat ourselves up when we can't reach this unobtainable mark.

Fourth, we need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. It's unreasonable to expect ourselves to let go of unrealistic expectations, if we do not also learn to appreciate what we have. Otherwise, we will always be stuck in a "grass is always greener" mentality. Start keeping a journal, a little notebook. Everyday write down specific things that you are thankful for. But, everyday, make each of those items something different than the day before. How many small things can you start noticing about yourself, your spouse, your life that you are truly blessed by? Can you, over the course of several weeks, come up with 1000 different blessings to thank God for?

Let me take another moment to say, yes, I know this is all easier said than done. I know because I've struggled down this road myself. It is a struggle. It is hard work. It does take effort. It does take determination. Yes, there are days when you'll feel like you've messed it up, again, but those days get fewer and farther between the more you keep at it.


Fifth, we need to let ourselves be the revelation and reflection of beauty that we are intended to be. Think this is contrary to the first four steps? Think again.

Only after we have begun to move past our hangups, to let go of our unrealistic expectations, and to become women who practice true joy and contentment can we comfortably and confidently be free to express the beauty of our inner selves.

Last, we need to recognize that our husbands are naturally drawn to that inner beauty, when we allow it to shine through our outer selves. They are drawn to it, and they crave it, and they are sorely, but silently, crushed when we try to stifle it.

We can show love to ourselves, to our husband, and to our Creator, by carefully nurturing our inclination for beauty.

1. We can take care of our health and appearance. No, this isn't about being a certain size or a certain weight. But it is about making an effort to be healthy, to eat well, to remain active. Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Such a temple deserves some good upkeep. (It also deserves a hot fudge sundae from time to time, I'll agree. I'm not ever going to suggest eating nothing but rice cakes and carrot sticks. But you can't run a temple on junk food, and you can't keep a temple strong without movement.)


2. We can dress well. No, this isn't about buying designer labels, expensive jewelry, or the latest fashion. This is about showing a healthy pride in ourselves and in the calling God has placed us in. For some, that might mean jeans and a cute top. For others that might mean professional attire. Its not the type of clothing or the cost or the size. It's that you feel confident and happy with it. (Notice I didn't say comfortable. My jammies are comfortable and there are days that I just want to and do hang out in my penguin pants, but I try to make those days the exception, not the rule.)

3. We can make time to create. Carve out 30 minutes twice a week. Carve out an hour once a week. If nothing else, carve out 15 minutes. But carve out some time to allow yourself to pursue some creative endeavor, art, craft, or hobby. It doesn't have to be something that the Smithsonian will be displaying, or that Martha Stewart is asking to feature in her next magazine. Whatever it is you enjoy doing or making, even if you don't think you are all that great at it, give yourself permission to do it at least once every week. Don't let interruptions or the things on your to-do list keep you from just a small window of time to allow your soul to indulge and participate in the act of creation.

4. We can beautify our home. Again, this isn't about a right and a wrong style. This isn't about trying to copy a magazine, unless that's what makes you really happy. And this isn't about having the cash to install new kitchen counters or get a new living room set. This is about being able to look at what you have and smile. It's about being happy to walk into your home.

5. We can stop making excuses. No time, no money, no energy. I know, I know as women we are tired, we are busy, we are often overwhelmed. But making a commitment to make some small changes will make such a huge difference in your attitude and your contentment, and those changes will spill over into other areas of your life.

You are worth the effort.

Personal Proverbs 31

• A wife with a gentle and sincere heart seems to be a rarity in today's society.
• She is worth far more than those multi-karat diamond rings which commercials claim are the measurement of love.
• Her husband can trust in her basic goodness, knowing that her words are rarely cutting and that her actions are intended for the benefit of her family. His life is enriched by her presence.
• She is good and kind towards him, daily demonstrating her respect and confidence in his character and his abilities through her words and attitudes. She avoids sarcasm, criticism, and demeaning "teasing". Neither does she second-guess his choices or go behind his back on decisions.
• Her life can easily be overloaded with activities and commitments, so she is careful what she agrees to and chooses wisely her involvements, praying about her decisions and constantly seeking only God's best for her and her family.
• She plans healthy meals and snacks, and is frugal and discerning in her grocery shopping.
• She avoids sleeping in, even though she could, but is instead intentional about getting up and utilizing her morning wisely. By doing so, she helps her family begin each of their days well, in peace and in health.
• She is not frivolous in her spending, but deliberate and conscientious. She seeks to increase the family's purchasing power, not squander it away.
• She is enthusiastic and motivated about her role and her calling, finding fulfillment and energy in the good works God has prepared in advance just for her. She is healthy, taking time to exercise and care for herself physically, because she knows her own welfare is very important.
• She makes sure that the tasks she engages in are productive ones. She does not waste away her days on worthless diversions, nor does she let business keep her distracted from what is truly meaningful. Instead, she regularly reflects on and assesses how she is spending herself and keeps herself from getting burned out.
• She knows the value of the gifts and talents God has given her, and she puts them to good use.
• She is compassionate and actively seeks out ways to help those in need.
• She is prepared in advance for both the immediate future and for the occasional contingency. Her household rarely needs to franticly scramble to get ready for an event, nor does a minor unplanned circumstance throw her life into a tailspin.
• She takes care to outfit her home usefully and beautifully. She clothes herself tastefully and attractively.
• The confidence her husband finds at home carries into his public and work life and he can become the man God created him to be.
• Her efforts do not only benefit her family, but to her credit, they carry over to bless and benefit others as well.
• She is confident, calm, and full of grace. She maintains a positive, joyful attitude even in the face of uncertainty.
• She thinks before she speaks, guarding her tongue against malice, nagging, gossip, and ceaseless prattle. Instead, she desires her words to bring comfort, help, and encouragement to all those she interacts with.
• She is involved with and knowledgeable about the activities and interests of her family members. She keeps track of schedules and appointments and special occasions. She is not passive about life, but engaged and pro-active.
• Her children are well-behaved, polite, and considerate, learning good character traits from their rich home-life. When they are grown, they not only have many fond memories of their childhood, they tell others of the lessons and the values they learned from those experiences.
• Her husband treats her as the priceless treasure which she is. She receives and recognizes his unique expressions of love.
• Our society has turned womanhood into a House of Mirrors, and the images and perceptions of women presented by our world today are false and distorted. A woman's worth is not based on income, material possessions, a high-profile career, or conforming to an impossible appearance standard. No, a woman's true worth is found in her inner character, in her ability to love and do and give to others, in her spirit, in her preciousness in the eyes of God, and in the originality of the artful masterpiece she was created to be to the world.

P.S.--I can't honestly say that I have completely arrived at this. But this is what my heart desires.

Draw Near

I'm working through an excellent Bible study which I downloaded, all by myself, in e-book form. Currently, I cannot reveal the name of the ebook or the site where I found it, but as soon as I finish it, I shall do so. My secrecy will make sense at that time.

I've been doing most of the writing assignments and written responses in my little spiral bound devotion journal rather than on-line. (Cause its a secret for now, right?) However, I want to remember the lesson from today's devotions. Occasionally I do go back and reread my blog. I rarely go back and reread my devotion journal. Sad, but true. So, that said, here is the scripture and the question and answers from today's devotions:

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy --think about such things.

Phillipians 4:8

1. Please list several “achievements” from your life – these are things you have worked hard to accomplish, over time, and have (whether known to you at the time or not) received God’s help in accomplishing them. Some examples might include finishing your degree after having kids, training an assistance animal, starting a Bible study in your neighborhood, raising a child, finishing your first quilt, etc. If you have difficulty in coming up with 3 of them, ask your husband, a sister, a good friend and God for direction on which 3 you should pick from your life and list them here:

--homeschooling
--being a foster mom
--being an adoptive mom

2. Prayerfully consider each of the above achievements. Circle the one you sense God was most involved in for you.

--being an adoptive mom

3. Fully remember the details surrounding all the aspects of this achievement. Prayerfully make some notes about what was most important during this time. Think in terms of how you thought about challenges you faced, how you overcame them, what your thought patterns were like, etc.

(While I could write a book on the process we went through for our international adoption I limited my 'thoughts of note' to the following:)

--God's selection of Toa of Boy that I can now answer his question of "who picked me out?"
--waiting on the process
        --> faith in God's sovereignty
       --> image of the Israelites following the pillar
--God's sovereignty even in out illness that allowed Sweetling to be reassured of her part and importance in the family

4. What do you sense God wants you to know about yourself, based upon this achievement?

--God will lead me in walking by faith if I seek him in my circumstances.

5. What do you sense God wants you to know about Him, based upon this achievement?

--see above ;)

6. What do you sense now that you didn’t know when you were in the midst of the achievement?

-- It isn't that God wasn't as involved with me in other parts of life or in other acheivements,  it's that I wasn't as involved with God.

Draw  near to God and he will draw near to you.

--James 4:8

I had that verse on a golden key chain that someone I worked with gave to me. I subsequently lost the key chain, along with the keys that were on it of course, but I remembered that verse. I haven't always applied it in my life as much as I would like, but I want to begin applying it now. K-Love this morning was talking about picking a "word" for yourself for 2010, presumeably a key word that would bring to mind a certain scripture verse. I think my words will be "draw near". Yes, I know that's two words, but you know how much I like to break the rules of any assignment.

7. In terms of achievement, how are you viewing your progress in doing [name of book]? Go back to the “Understand This First” section at the beginning of the book and evaluate how you are doing in each of those areas. Do you need to make any adjustments? If you are in a small group, how is your group doing?

The "Understand This First" section included a fairly extensive self-evaluation and reflection section. At the end of that section the book asked me to go back over my responses and pick two key aspects that I felt led to really focus on over the course of the study. My two areas of focus were to be:
--prayer, and
--a spirit of power, love, and self-control
To be bluntly honest, I had completely forgotten about the exercise of picking two key areas of focus. However, I feel that, once again, God is orchestrating the details of my life to bring me what I need. At church we are beginning a season of focus on prayer and fasting. Also, today was the first day of a  reinstituted women's Bible study in which we will be reading and discussing the book Crazy Love. And now I'm being drawn back to the "draw near" verse.

Condition Stable

Dad's condition seems to be stablizing. It's still going to be a very long, slow recovery, but the doctors are talking about long-term treatment options whereas before they were rather pessimistic about him pulling through.

So today, the first thing I am thankful for is:

<3 Bapa's health
<3 Deb's safe flight in from California
<3 soft tacos for dinner
<3 snuggles with kids in the big arm chair
<3 completed school lessons yesterday
<3 working with Sweetling on algebra
<3 lots of hot chocolate

Readings: GENESIS 18:1-21:7  and some thoughts--

--how many hours did it take to prepare the food Abraham served to his guests?
--when did Abraham realize who was sitting in the shade of the tree, enjoying his hospitality?
--I can almost hear God's small, patient smile in his reply to Abraham's plea bargaining
--why doesn't Lot return to Abraham after Lot left Zoar instead of going to live in the mountains by himself?
--Abraham's second 'prostitution' of Sarah, and again, he profits by it. I wonder how bitter and heartbroken it made Sarah feel. Did she cling to the fact that God protected her even when her husband would use her?

Forgot my Devotion Journal

My devotional journal is at home. I am not. Therefore, once again, you few readers get another exciting glimpse into my devotional time.

thankful for--
<3 a SAFE trip last night
<3 being here for the Jedi's mom
<3 the Jedi is visiting with his dad right now
<3 kids are heading out to play in the snow
<3 well heated van
<3 reading the Love & Respect book with the Jedi
<3 a good night's sleep

Readings: GENESIS 15:1-17:27 and thoughts:
--Abram counted as righteous because of his faith, always one of my favorite concepts
--the sins of the Amorites do not yet warrant their destruction...during Abram's time, their were priests of the Most High God among some of the people in the land. Yet, all the people would eventually become so vile, they would warrant their own destruction.
--Sarai gets a bad rap. God's first promise was just to Abram. Sarai wasn't included in that promise, so I don't think she acts in disobedience, or with a lack of faith, when she presents Hagar to Abram.
--The God who Sees Me.

In other news, lessons I'm learning in my mother-in-laws kitchen:
--boxes of spaghetti in the cabinet above the stove might be open. Be careful how you remove them when your rumaging for cereal in the morning.
--not all plastic stirring spatulas are heat resistant.
--step stools are your friend
--toasters must be plugged in before they will actually toast bread

The Problem with On-line Bibles...

The problem with on-line Bibles is that they are online. As is Facebook, my blog, and a host of other distractions. Day Two of the New Year leads me to "Take Three" on my resolutions. Today I was nearly sabotaged by the online aspect of the chronological Bible. I opened my netbook while I was making my breakfast, with the intention of sitting down and doing my devotions while I ate. Somewhere between the sitting down and the devotions, I had become sidetracked on-line.

But I'm here now, doing devotions. And, as stated yesterday, the devotions will not become a regular part of the blog, so Facebook buddies needing go hiding all my updates just yet.

<3 Saturday morning snuggles
<3 family pictures on the flatscreen tv
<3 Sweetling's smile
<3 a clean an empty sink
<3 Christmas reflections book
<3 Zelda time yesterday
<3 God lets me sniffle on his shoulder when I need it

GENESIS 4:1-5:32;
1 CHRONICLES 1:1-4
GENESIS 6:1-22
 
--universality of God's warning to Cain. If you do what is right, you will accepted. But if you refuse to do what is right, watch out! Sin is crouching at your door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master. Too often we think the choice is between being obedient to God versus doing whatever we want. In reality, refusing to do what is right allows sin to control and enslave us.
--I can't read about the mark of Cain without immediately thinking, "vampire". Just being honest here.
--When I was a little girl, I always loved the Bible story of Enoch. I had a picture Bible that showed an illustration of a path winding around a group of flowing plants and shrubs. I wanted to be just like Enoch, walking closely with God.
--meaning of Noah's name is rather ironic. The father received what he wished for, a release from the toil of working the ground, but not in the way he expected.
--

New Year's Resolutions, Take Two

That's right; it's 10:23 am on New Year's Day, and I'm already on take two of my New Year's Resolutions.

See, I made my breakfast (well, ok, the Jedi made my breakfast), and I was planning on sitting down with my breakfast and my One Year Chronological Bible, which I loaned to mother a couple years ago. So, Mama, with perfect timing, walked into the kitchen, and I asked her for the Bible....having already spoken to her about my intent to read through the Bible again this year.

And that's where take two comes in. She might have left it in a car that died and got junked. She might have loaned it to someone at work. She meant to buy me another one so that I would never know, but she forgot.

No biggie. I just hoped on my cool new netbook, and did a search for an on-line chronological Bible, and voila.... this one is even cooler because you don't have to start on Jan 1. You can set your default start date on any day you choose. So, someone in April can still commit to reading the Bible in One Year, and not feel like they are starting out "behind" and, even better, still be able to read through it chronologically.

So, rather than get up and go fetch my pink pen and devotion notebook, I'm just doing today's devotion online.

I always start with seven specific things I'm thankful for.
<3 I'm still so proud of my kids' attitude, manners, and patience when we spent several hours of Christmas day visiting Bapa in the hospital.
<3 I'm glad Sweetling has a Jedi who cares for her so deeply and understands and connects with her.
<3 We got to spend almost the whole week at home with no outside obligations, commimtments, or appointments.
<3 I love my new penguin blanket and my new netbook.
<3 The Jedi tells me daily, daily, many times a day, how much he loves me and cherishes me.
<3 We got to see Tommy and family over Christmas.
<3 I love spending time with the Jedi, and I'm grateful for all the evenings we have had together this week.

And today's reading is Gen 1:1-3:24. Some thoughts as I read--
--I wasn't really motivated to read Genesis. I felt like, yeah, I know this part already.
--Why do you think God puts in so many references to "each one after its own kind."? He emphasizes that with regards to the plants, the fish, the birds, and the animals.
--Adam and Eve were vegetartians.
--The garden of Eden is always depicted as a "jungle". But the Bible says the "Lord God *planted* a garden..."  I want to see the garden design!
--the NLT version doesn't contain the reference to God placing man in the garden "to work it". Nevermind. It's in verse 15 "to tend it and watch over it."
--How many days, how much time passed between the creation of Eve and the day the serpent came to her? How much time did she have to live in and enjoy paradise before she and her husband sinned and were cast out of the garden?
--Wonder if the veil that separated the Holy of Holies from the rest of the temple had any artwork that symbolized the cherubim and the flashing sword that guarded the way back to the garden and the tree of life.Ah yes, Gen 26:31....the cherubim  are there, but not the sword. Though the ark itself was protect by God's glory, so perhaps the Glory of the Lord *was* the sword?

Don't expect this every day. Most days I'm lucky if I manage seven short blessings jotted in my notebook and a few verses read in the midst of breakfast and Toa interruptions.

What I Do

I feel like I should start by saying that I'm not at all a Bible scholar. But, I'm betting if you had wanted a Bible scholar answer, you would have asked a Bible scholar. You want an everyday, ordinary woman answer. I might be too weird to be be ordinary, but I can certainly share what I do.

This is what I try to do every morning. Now, it doesn't always happen, but its the goal I shoot for. I like to do my devotions while I'm having breakfast. Toa of Boy is usually watching pbs kids at that time, so few distractions there, and Sweetling is off getting her morning stuff done. There's something about sitting at the kitchen table by myself with a cup of hot chocolate, an egg on toast, my Bible and my journal that just appeals to me. I don't think it matters what time of day you pick to read the Bible, as long as you can do it without many interuptions and you aren't so tired you'd be lucky to remember your middle name. For a mom, those are two pretty big preconditions! When I was working, in those prekid years, I did my devotions during my lunch break....not in the morning when I was rushed and frantic and trying to get up and get out the door on time!

So, I sit down with my breakfast (and hot chocolate...I haven't found a scripture to back this one up, but I'm sure it's pretty spiritual!). I have a little journal, nothing fancy, and a Bible that is easy to read. The NIV is my favorite, but find one that you can read and is pretty clear. I also like a Bible with footnotes, cause sometimes if I don't get it, there might be a footnote that can help clarify.

Everyone always says over and over that the most important thing to start with is prayer. I'm going to repeat it, cause I'm sure they know what they are talking about. I'm going to confess that I'm not the most consistant or prayerful person in the world BUT I do find that I get more out of what I read, more insight, on the days that I do remember to pray. So pray :)

Then I open my jounal, before I open my Bible. I jot down the day and the date, just because it seems the thing to do. Here's the part that makes a huge difference to me.... I start my devotion time making a list of seven specific and unique things that I'm thankful for. They have to be slightly different every day. No fair just writing "my husband" every day. Otherwise it becomes a rote list, not something reflective and beneficial. I do this for a few reasons. It puts me in a positive frame of mind both for the morning, and for the rest of the day. It helps me focus on my blessings and not my "to do" list. It helps me notice, as I go through the day, specific details that I can store up for tomorrow's list.

After I've written my list of blessings (and I put a little heart in front of each one, cause I love cute things!), I'm ready to start my Bible reading. Personally, I have a pretty short attention span. So, every few weeks I found myself changing how and what I'm studying about the Bible. I think the important part here is to find something that works for you. However, here are a few things I've found helpful. I'm just going to put them in a list, cause I like it when things look organized, it helps me focus. If I knew how to add a heart in front of each one, I totally would ;)

Keep your daily reading selection "bite sized". Dont try to read too much at once. Some Bible reading plans will list several chapters to read each day. When I try to read through multilple chapters, I totally don't absorb what I read. I read the words, but they just go in and right back out, and I may as well have not read anything at all.

Keep your daily reading selection in ONE PLACE in the Bible. Don't 'skip around' and read from three different places in one day. Some Bible reading plans have a reading from the old testament, from psalms, and from the new testament for each and every day. Talk about confusing. Its like trying to watch tv with someone who can't stop flicking through the channels on the remote. You get bits and pieces of a ton of stuff, without ever having a clear picture of any one program on any of the channels.

Keep your daily reading selection interesting. Don't get bogged down in the begats and in the levitical law of what can and can't be eaten or how many measures of wheat and oil make a sacrifice. Yes, I'm sure they are important...but they need a whole lot of digging and digesting to make them meaningful. The Gospels are a good place to start (especially John and Mark). After that, Acts, then Genesis and Exodus. Reading one or two gospels, Acts, Genesis, and Exodus will give you a very good overview of the story of God's love for his creation. By then, you'll be practiced and able to chart your own path on where you think God is leading you next in His word. Beware, if you're reading the Bible in bite sized chunks, that's a lot of chapters! Just the few books I mentioned will take you a few months to get through.

Keep in mind that this isn't a race. You're making a comment for a life time habit. Don't worry if a month from now, you're only half-way through the book of John. You are growing deep roots, and deep rooted trees grow slowly, but they are strong and well grounded! Avoid the habit of comparing yourself to what others may or may not know. God is working on you. You are his masterpiece. Be patient and content.

Keep in mind that the Bible doesn't "read" like a regular book from cover to cover. It's more like a library of separate books. It was written by many different people, in different languages, over the course of a couple of thousand of years. Its not even completely chronological. It took me a while to figure that one out (or to come across that information.) I kept thinking that if I started in Genesis and kept reading, the Bible would read like a story book. Then I'd get to Kings and Chronicles and get totally confused, cause it jumped back and forth. And THEN the books of the prophets were actually written during the life times of some of the Kings mentioned in Kings and Chronicles...and so on and so on. Anyway, I wouldn't recommend picking up the Bible and trying to read it from cover to cover.

SOOOOOO...

All that being said, I've made my list of seven blessings, and I read a little bit of the Bible, depending on what I felt called to study at that particular time. Then I jot down a sentence or two, or a couple super quick notes about what I've read. This helps me make sense of it and retain it. But I don't let myself turn this into an essay assignment. As you can probably tell, I like to write, and I write A LOT once I get started. But the point of this is just to remember the key point or the main application of what I've read. Not to start developing my own commentary book. When I jot a few words down, I make sure that I don't just read and let the words wash over me and away, like so many waves on the beach.

Last, I pick one verse from what I've read that I thought was particularly poignant to me. I copy it to a little yellow post it note, and I put it somewhere where I can see it through the day. (I put mine on my bathroom mirror, cause I'm home during the day, and I see it there often.) This helps, because I found that even when I did my devotions in the morning, and even when I'd make a couple notes in my journal, by 4pm...I often had NO IDEA what I had read that morning. Glancing at a key scriptue through the day helps me remember, reflect, and hopefully apply what I'm learning. Plus the yellow note is a little reminder for me to shoot a quick "popcorn prayer" to God about what he's trying to teach me that day.

Anyway, that's what I do. It doesn't happen every morning. And it doesn't happen perfectly on the mornings when it does happen. But every day, that's my goal. And more often than not I met my goal. Let me leave you with a couple other bits of advice. First, don't be afraid to try something new...and don't be afraid to change how your studying the Bible if one system or plan isn't working for you. God makes us all differently. There is no one "right" way of reading and learning His word. Second, if you miss a day, or two, or three....don't beat yourself up over it. This isn't a diet that you can "blow". He makes His mercies new every morning. Just open up your Bible and start again where you left off. Third, if you possibly can, get involved in a Bible study with other women. I'm not always in a group Bible study, but I do make an effort to "complete" at least one group Bible study once a year. Its hard for me to fly solo all the time, and I find that participating in a group study really refreshes my learning time and my perspective.

I hope that was more helpful than it was lengthy (which is a pretty tough measurement!) I've heard of several people who also use their devotion journal as a prayer journal, writing down specific prayer requests and then coming back and writing down the date when God answered those requests. I'm not that consistant, but its a neat idea, so I though I'd pass it on ;)

Finally, I like examples. So, I'm typing out for you my devotion journal from yesterday and today.

Tuesday, April 1
--squirrels building a nest
--Toa of Boy's cough is better
--got to sleep in this morning
--Jedi says every day he looks forward to being with me
--our cupboards are so full
--Easter dance coming together
--God gives me many creative outlets

(read Psalm 119:33-40)
We need to ask God for understanding. Even the esteemed author of 119 beseeched God for insight!
Post-it verse: Teach me, O Lord, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end. Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart. Ps 119:33-34

Wednesday, April 2
--Mom's car is done and covered under warranty
--Jedi's car didn't need towed
--both squirrels still there after hawk visit
--time reading and talking with the Jedi
--song with Sweetling
--snuggles with Toa of Boy
--the golden light of morning

(read Psalm 119:41-48)
true liberty comes from following God's plan
"Doing whatever I want" is really bondage!
but since God is my crator, I am in perfect freedom when I am fulfilling my purpose. When I do what I am designed to do, my spirit leaps and bounds, full of joy and life :)

Getting Dirty

I knew that would grab your attention.

I wasn't going to do today's reset material just because I wanted to do something else. I didn't know what else. Just something else. Blogsurf maybe. Or look through plant catalogs. I had a short story idea on my mind, things that I wanted to wrap up in my writing project, and garden visions. By the time I had made my hot chocolate, I had settled on the garden ideas. I really need some more stepping stones and some rocks to help retain soil on the far side of the sandbox. The Jedi has said many times that we are not buying rocks, so where can I get them? Oh sure, if I wanted to be really rude I could drive to Winton Wood, park my car by one of the streams, and help myself. But there's something wrong, and probably illegal, about pilfering landscape materials from a county park. What other streams can I help myself to?

But definitely gardening was the topic du jour, at least in the instant I, more out of obligation than anything else, opened up my reset journal. Don't get me wrong, I've been really digging the reset material. But I was grumpy and feeling selfish. I used to get exasperated with Toa of Boy when he would refuse to do something just for the sake of saying no, but really I'm the same way. I wasn't going to do it simply to be contrary. I was going to sit down and flood the blog world with inquiries about rocks. See, the area on the other side of the sandbox could be a lovely shade garden, but I can't plant anything right now because there isn't any topsoil there. Its just hard packed clay. Even the weeds can't grow. But if I had some rocks, I could build a couple of raised beds to fill with peat moss and compost and make good topsoil for hostas and ferns and other shade lovers.

And that is exactly what I was thinking about when I opened my journal and read...

"Ever try to grow a garden? Its all about the soil."

The scripture verses are, of course, the parable of the sower. Luke 8:4-8 and 11-15. And the journaling prompt is...

"What in your own life right now is enhancing or preventing you from receiving God more fully? Consider this for a moment then describe the condition of your own soil, or draw a picture."

Which I wrote about in my journal. I might come back and type it out here, but right now I'm going to hop in the shower.

Three 5s, Two 4s, and Two 3s.

This is from the Reset Journey we're doing at church. I'm actually not sure what week I'm supposed to be on. I missed a couple of weekends and lost track of where we were. But me personally, I just did the journaling exercise for Prompt 3 of Week 3. Week 3 is all about surrender.

Day one was to journal about your fears. (Not the "spiders" or "dark" or "heights" type fears.) Day two was to think through your day from beginning to end and think about all the things you tried to control. Then, after you had made that list, to go back through and list the underlying fear that motivated that need for control.

Day three, which i just did, was to return to the day two's list. To rewrite the items and to rank them from 1 to 5 according to how tightly you try to hold on to them, with 1 meaning "you care about it, but it doesn't consume you" and 5 being "the thought of anything upsetting that one would really stress you out". I almost skipped the prompt, cause you know, its Friday and I'm not only a couple days behind, but I don't even know if I'm on the right week. And, here's the kicker, I was pretty certain I'm not real big on control anyway, so didn't figure the prompt wasn't going to mean that much to me.

But I did it. I looked back at my list and rewrote it. And put a five next to the ones that really, really stress me out when something upsets my feeling of control. A four next to the ones that are still pretty critical. A three next to the ones that were important, but not as stressful. And suddenly I didn't have any items left to rank. Really? Really? I'm not an uptight person. Oh sure, I'm "high maintenance," as Christopher Robin would be quick to point out. But I'm far from uptight. So I look back over my list, seeking items that I could downgrade. Yet I'm fairly confident that they are all accurately ranked.

huh.

BFS: Apples of Gold

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

This week's blogger friend school assignment is to share prayer requests and to visit each other's blogs and pray for each other. A few weeks ago, I was reading the love dare book, and blogging about some of the devotions and memory verses. One of the days challenged me to examine my speech and my patience with my family. I blogged about how I'm less patient and tender with Sweetling than I should be. Over the weekend, I also felt convicted on the tone of voice I use with Dear Mama. I tend to be way too sarcastic and cutting.

So, my prayer request for myself is that I consistently seek to be more loving in my speech with my family.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly. --Proverbs 31:26

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. --Ephesians 4:29

Back to Blogger Friend School

I found blogger friend school a year or two ago and really enjoyed their assignments. Then, being me, I lost track of them over the summer. But Google is a wonderful thing, is it not? So, here I am again. (And this time, I know how to add a link in my sidebar.)

Assignment: Try to think of one thing you can say to the glory of God- one thing to thank Him for, a positive thing you can say about Him, or one of His Names-using each letter of the alphabet. You are allowed to make up words- if you can justify them by making it clear what you mean- and you may also use any foreign language (but please explain what it means) - and you can also use a thesaurus or dictionary if you get stumped. I’m putting my list below so you’ll have to copy and paste this then remove my answers. It’s a bit of a challenge but I think you’ll enjoy it. Have fun with it!

Now, I'm a sucker for ABC memes, so this is a perfect "first assignment" for me.

Awesome
Beautiful
Caring
Daring
Excellent
Family-minded
Great
Higher
Intimate
Jesus
King of Kings
Loving
Magnificent
Neighbor to the homeless
Omnipotent
Perfecter of our peace
Qualified
Regal
Sovereign
Thought-provoking
Unbridled joy
Veil was torn
Warrior
Xuan's lover
Yodeling cucumbers (you can thank Veggietales for this item)
Zenith

Love Cherishes

"Marriage is a beautiful mystery created by God, joining two lives together as one. The not only happens physically but spiriatually and emotionally. You start off sharing the same house, the same bed, the same last name. Your identitiy as individuals has been joined into one. When your spouse goes through a tragedy, both of you feel it. When you find success at your job, both of you rejoice.

"Your lives are now interwoven together. Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it also affecting you.

"When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. so treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life."

I've not been great with the follow through. The love dares seem to mundane to me, so I've been doing the devotion reading, but skipping the love dare half the time. Which really means, I read the devotions, think, wow, that's really insightful, and then don't let it actually change my behavior. Not all the time. But half the time.

Today's love dare is:

What needs does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or a foot massage? Is there housework that you could help with? Choose a gesture that says 'I cherish you', and do it with a smile.

I have no idea what the Jedi needs. I think I'll email the Jedi and ask if he'd like pot pie or beefy biscuit cups for dinner tonight. And I think I'll email the Jedi with some suggestions for an after dinner activity. (Remember, Sweetling reads the blog, so you grown ups figure out what I'm talking about.) The Jedi will be well pleased with both of these emails.

Love is Unconditional

I can't chop this one up and maintain its integrity.

Today, my goal for myself is to stay connected, to stay focused, to stay involved. Yesterday I did the minimum and I spent a lot of time reading online comics. It was a mental break. So today, I want to stay busy. Get the schooling done, get the laundry folded, get the living room dusted and the kitchen in shape.

My scripture verse isn't from the love dare. But it capsulizes my goal for the day.

"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands." --Proverbs 31:13

I want to be selective and intentional about my tasks today, and I want to work with eager hands.

Greet One Another in Love

First, let me say that I've noticed something about myself. I "clock out" over the weekend. Every weekend, I have a decent excuse for it. On this weekend such and such was going on. On that weekend this and that happened. But the over all pattern is that I step down and take a break from being a wife and a mother over the weekend. And yes, we all need breaks. And yes, we all need down time. But all weekend? Every weekend?

Oh sure, I start the laundry going on Sunday. But relationship-wise, I'm just not there. I get self-absorbed in my own thoughts and my own projects and I just leave my family to fend for themselves both on an emotional level and often also in terms of activities.

Now for those few of you who think that my blog might be too self-critical these past couple of weeks, it is meant to be self-critical, or at least self-examining. And yes, there's many things I do really well as a wife and mother. But what I want to do is move from a "B" grade to an "A" grade, so I've been deliberately dragging a fine toothed comb over the areas I think I could improve in.

I'm polishing my apples.

No, I don't know where that came from either.

(Speaking of idioms and phrases, where does the phrase "Crazy like a fox" come from? hmmm?)

Back to love dares.

I love all of today's devotion. I really do. And since it's my blog, you all get to love almost all of today's devotion.

"Its probably something you don't think about very often -- the first thing you say to him or to her when you wake up in the morning, the look on your face when you get in the car, the energy in your voice when you speak on the telephone. But here's something else you probably don't stop to consider-- the difference it would make in your spouse's day if everything about you expressed the fact that you were really, really glad to see them.

"When someone communicates that they are glad to see you, your personal sense of self-worth increases. You feel more important and valued. That's because a good greeting sets the stage ofr positive and healthy interaction. Like love, it puts wind in your sails.

"What kind of greetings would make your mate feel like that? How could you excite his or her various senses with a simple word, a touch, a tone of voice? A loving greeting can bless your spouse through what they see, hear, and feel.

"It doesn't have to be bold and dramatic every time. But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate's heart in subtle, unspoken ways."

And of course, I have to apply this to my children also. How do I greet them when they first wake up? How do I speak to them through the day? Do they feel loved and appreciated by the tone of my voice and my facial expression?

The Jedi, as usual, already has the gold trophy on this dare. He is always careful to kiss me goodbye, even when I'm still hanging out in bed half-asleep. He greets me and kisses me when he first comes home. He kisses me and snuggles me as I'm falling asleep.

So, how can I be more intentional about greeting him? Hmmm, I think being *awake* in the morning would be a good start. Pausing in what I'm doing when he comes home from work to let him know he's more important to me than whatever activity I'm engaged in. Wrapping up stuff in the evening to get to bed at the same time as him.

I haven't read what the official dare is for today, but those are my goals.

Love is Not Jealous

So my first response was, "Oh, this isn't going to apply to me." But I read the devotion anyway. A general definition of the type of jealousy being discussed...

"...we will shift our focus to the illegitimate kind of jealousy that is in opposition to love--the one that is rooted in selfishness."

Now, this next scenario doesn't apply to me quite. All you who know the Jedi know that he doesn't take off on the weekend to go do his own thing. And all you who know me know that the absolute last thing I ever do on the weekend is clean house. In fact, if you ever catch me spending the weekend cleaning house, please come looking for the real me, because it will be evident that aliens have snatched my body and have taken over my life. Nonetheless, the sentiment is sadly similar.

"He may be enjoying golf on the weekend while she stays home cleaning house. He boasts to her about shooting a great score, and she feels like shooting him."

I have to confess, on those rare, rare occasions that the Jedi sits down to do something relaxing while I'm still busy with dinner, cleaning (yeah, I do clean from time to time), or kids...I am immediately prone to a flash of jealousy. I don't act or speak on it, but its there in my heart. Nevermind the fact that the Jedi nearly always does at least as much, if not more, around the house than I do, I still flash jealous.

Here's the other quote that got me:

"A loving wife will....throw a celebration, not a pity party."

Let me tell you how much I am the queen of the pity party. With snacks even.

So the dare is:

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it.Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

I never got around to actually writing out my lists, though I did think about them. And actually, the list was the assignment from two days ago, cause I didn't even crack the book open yesterday. (Co-op, library, dance, tae kwon do). But I have three things in mind to encourage the Jedi about :)

And my scripture verse for today from the Song of Solomon (2:15)...

Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

My jealous thoughts are like little foxes that bite and gnaw at the stalks of my joy and love and appreciation.

Appreciation and Depreciation

No, this has nothing to do with current politics. It is, of course, once again, Love Dare. Today's devotion can't be chopped into neat quotes, so I'm not going to try. I'll post the dare, but not my writings for it.

The verse today is :

"Love believes all things, hopes all things." --1 cor 13:7

And the dare:

For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same thing with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and a plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Colds and Love Dares do not mix

I had a nasty head cold over the weekend. I did no love dares. Saturday's love dare was "invest in your partner" by "buying a little something that says I'm thinking of you." Saturday was also Valentine's Day. I got a webkinz squirrel from the Jedi. The Jedi got a wife in flannel jammies snuggled up to a tissue box. I don't even know what Sunday's love dare was cause I didn't even open the book. In fact, I slept all of Sunday afternoon while the Jedi got lunch for the kids, sorted and washed most of the laundry in the house, cleaned the kitchen, and loaded and unloaded the dishwasher. When we got home from Sunday evening church, I changed back into flannel jammies and watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition. At bedtime, the bed had a couple loads of clean laundry on it, which the Jedi was in the process of folding. (My approach would have been to scoop the laundry back into a basket where it could sit and wrinkle for a week.) I started helping the Jedi to fold, and he said, "Why don't you just sit on the bed and be cute?" So I kicked off my bunny slippers and climbed up on the bed and read while the Jedi folded laundry.

So far, the Jedi is hands down winning the love dare without even trying. Go Jedi :)

I might have a better chance with today. Today is "Love is not rude." I'm pretty sure I get a B+ grade on this category already.

"When a man is driven by love, he intentionally behaves in a way that's more pleasant for his wife to be around. If she desires to love him, she purposefully avoids things that frustrate him or cause him discomfort.

"The bottom line is that genuine love minds its manners.

"Will you be thoughtful and loving enough to discover and avoid the behavior that causes life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?"

The dare is :

"Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only."

And even without asking, I bet I can name three things the Jedi might list... being late, being interrupted, and either not being given time to ponder a response to a question I've just asked him OR having chaos and clutter in the house.

I'll ask him tonight, though I'm not sure how to ask without giving away why am asking.

Warning: Gushy Content

Its Day 3 of love dare, so you know I'm reading and journaling about Day 2.

"Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing."

"Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. so you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man." Pr 3:3-4

And my response to the dare was to gather and take the trash out before the Jedi got home. And to try to do some decluttering and general straightening. Both of which I accomplished. And as I worked, I oscillated between hoping the Jedi would notice and say something and hoping the Jedi wouldn't notice...or at least wouldn't connect the actions with the Lovedare. And I was happier when I worked and was hoping the Jedi wouldn't notice. I felt better about what I was doing, and it eliminated the negative, Eeyore philosophy of 'no one will even notice, it'll all be undone before I go to bed tonight.'

But really, the Jedi does acts of service and kindness everyday, all the time. Like breathing. Acts of service is his primary love language and he speaks it well.

And after reading the devotion, taking out the trash seems really sad and lame and wimpy as an act of kindness. So, all in all not thrilled with my efforts at extra kindness.

Gushy content, cause I have to share:

I went to the Wednesday night group and one of the other women asked me where the Jedi was. I told her that the Jedi was in choir. She said something to the effect of that she couldn't quite picture the Jedi doing the Fireproof curriculum. It seemed too touchy feely for the Jedi, says her. And I can understand how she might have that opinion. The Jedi, in his "public" self is very businesslike, efficient "just the facts, ma'am," in his demeanor. But the truth is that the Jedi is a romantic at heart, and he showers me daily with wonderful words of love and affirmation, with gentle touches on my hand or on my shoulder as I'm going about my tasks, with kindness in his actions and respect and honor in his treatment of me. I told him that this morning. Probably not so elegantly. But I told him that he was romantic, so very romantic. He smiled. And I told him that I loved to just bask in the things that he whispers to me. I told him that I wanted to be able to give back to him as well. He says that I do, that I share myself with him. I said it hardly seemed like a fair trade. He said I was right, he was very spoiled.

To the woman in the Wednesday group, I mentioned that we were going to the marriage life conference in March, and that this would be our second weekend on that retreat, and that both times it was the Jedi who had initiated it. She said her and her husband would have to go, just to witness the Jedi at the retreat. I told the Jedi the story later. He joked and said he should call her and ask if she wanted to carpool.

I still feel like a sponge. I'm saturated in the Jedi's love, and what I give back is the droplets of love that leak out after I am completely full.

Day 3 is "Love is not Selfish".

"Loving couples--the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage--are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share life with. That's because true love always looks for ways to say 'yes.'

"Ask yourself these questions--
*Do I truly want whats best for my husband or wife?
*Do I want them to feel loved by me?
*Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?
*Do they see me as looking out for myself first?"

I do want what's best for him, and I do want him to feel loved by me. But, truth is I'm very self-focused (see how much better that sounds than self-centered?) And the Jedi probably doesn't see me as looking out for myself first, but I see me as looking out for myself first.

Today's dare is:

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

White chocolate might say that. (But honestly, the likelihood of me going to the store today is small. It's Saturday, and we've plans together today. A separate and independent store trip isn't going to fit in.) So, how else can I invest in my marriage today?