Cheating

Smurf sent me this email. It was far too funny not to put in my blog. Of course, the only people who read my blog are already copied in the email (with the exception of Vaya)....but that's just too bad. My blog. Mine. I post what I want and I don't have to answer to you poeple. Mine. Names have been changed to protect the innocent....not that they were either innocent or protected themselves...

I was looking through school stuff this morning, and the following e-mail was in my inbox via blackboard:

"Hi Smurf

my name is S---- and Im in your philosophy class with Prof ____. The material is bullshit and you are the only person who understands whats going on. Ive never had to write a paper in philosophy before. Can I pay you to do mine for me? Its my only chance of passing. Please be discrete."

This was my response:

"Dear S-------,

I'm sorry you find the course work so difficult; it is very challenging, which is why I spend so much time asking Prof. G_____ questions about the readings in class. I sincerely wish you had been seeking tutoring instead of outright academic dishonesty. However, since help understanding the material isn't what you're after, I'm afraid I won't be able to help you.

Additionally, I am equally sorry to have to tell you that while I'll be perfectly discreet regarding your request, you yourself have not been. Blackboard copies all student emails sent through the class roster to the professor of the course. This was, perhaps, not your most ingenious move. The plus side is that you can probably evidence your foolishness here as proof that you haven't tried to cheat before (given how easily you are caught).

Hi Prof. _______!

Sincerely,

Smurf"

My professor should be highly entertained. ;P

Chocolateer is "Wierd"

We went to the park today. It was 60 degrees this afternoon. Christopher Robin and her boys met us there. And we picked up Pinky on the way. (I've been a bad, bad friend to Christoper Robin. Horrible bad.)

Christopher Robin was filling me in on all the latest little anecdotes in her life. (Yes, that's misspelled, I'll let Smurf post with the correct spelling in the comments. It'll give her smug self something to do. )

Here's one of my favorites of the stories. Cause it involved me of course. I'm just that self-centered.

Pinky has three older brothers. I was going to name them after the Billy Goats Gruff, but I'll go with ...Punching Bag, who's the oldest and takes the brunt of my teasing when I'm around them. Goth, which is a self evident name, and gets teased mercilessly from me about his ripped up pants that so don't qualify as a fashion statement. And...hmmm.... I'll have to think on the third. He's not in this story anyway. Darn. Pinky's Mom needs a name. Now, several weeks ago. I confessed to Songwriter at church the first name that popped into my mind for Pinky's Mom and she highly encouraged me to pick a DIFFERENT name. Let's just be unoriginal and go with Pinky's Mom.

Punching Bag, whose 17, was complaining that he doesn't have a girlfriend. Has never had a girlfriend, was doomed in fact, to a life devoid of female companionship. No girl was ever, ever, going to like him. He was going to grow old alone.

Pinky's Mom, trying to be a voice of reason, pointed out that Uncle Bear was a nerd, and look, he's happily married.

Punching Bag was neither convinced nor cheered.

Pinky's Mom pointed out that the Jedi was an even bigger nerd. The biggest nerd she knew, and look...he is married too.

Yeah, Punching Bad admits, but that's only because Chocolateer is weird.

And, says Pinky's Mom, there's the right weird girl out there for you too.

Doesn't the whole story just warm your heart? I repeated the story after dinner tonight. The Jedi was flattered to be called a bigger nerd than Bear. Score one for the Jedi, in fact. And before I could get to Pinky's Moms last reply, the Jedi said "See, and there's a weird girl out there for him too."

I feel so loved.

8 Minutes in the Morning

Yes, I'm trying *another* program. Why? Because I'm an ENFP, and I start multiple projects a day, that's why. So, here's the newest thing I'm trying.

It's a fitness program called 8 Minutes in the Morning. I'm thinking, surely, surely, I can do just 8 little minutes in the morning. Surely I can. The kicker is that I need to do 8 minutes _every_ morning....and thats where the ENFP might fail. But I'm going to hop on board and give it a whirl. Why? Cause I'm an ENFP, that's why.

So, part of this new venture is that I'm supposed to sign this contract and write a letter about why I'm starting. I, you know, skipped the contract, cause it involved weighing myself...and that involved finding the scales and what not. Plus it was boring. But the letter to myself about why I'm doing this sounded interesting, so that's what I'm doing.

Dear Self,

You used to be fun and adventurous and active. You used to bike or walk everywhere, cause you didn't own a car. You used to love being outside and immersing yourself in nature. You used to take ballet classes through Evening College. You used to abhor sitting still, and the idea of sitting at a computer for hours would have been sheer torture. Where have you gone?

Now, I glimpse you in the bathroom mirror and wonder, who is that middle aged, pale, flabby, dough like person? What albino elephant contributed a piece of hide to make that belly? Who is THAT? It certainly isn't me.

And then I go make us a mug of hot chocolate and turn on the computer.

Dear self, we can be active again. No, not like we used to be. Lets face it, our lives have changed now. The changes are good ones, but they necessitate a less active life. And, lets face it...we will never be interested in going on a walk in the evening, by then we're tired. And we certainly aren't hauling our sorry selves out of bed to go for a walk in the morning before the Jedi leaves. That's just insanity talking there. Exercise machines are boring. The very word exercise makes us groan and pull the covers back over our heads. Diets are evil, evil things. Besides...we don't really need to lose a ton of weight, we just need to tone up and kick our metabolism back in gear. Exercise fitness tapes are dorky. Especially the Jazzercise VHS tape from the early nineties. We still have "better butter burner" song stuck in our brain. We're so sorry brain. We'd erase it if we could. We're never, ever going to get our act in gear enough to join a club that we'd not go to. Or carve out the time to do a ballroom dance class, or any of the other options like that.

But, dear self, we surely, surely can do 8 lousy minutes in the morning. That doesn't even involve getting up early or anything. Just 8 simple minutes. 8 simple minutes, and all we need to do is tone up a bit. We will feel so much better for it. We will look so much better for it. No, we still aren't going to get our belly button pierced, even though we want to. You know we can't wear earrings without our ears turning red and itching...belly button piercings would have the same results. But we'll at least be able to wear a pair of jeans without a roll of flab popping out over the waist line. That'll be a nice change, won't it dear self? And we'll celebrate our first four weeks by going out and buying two new pair of cute paints.

See, dear self, this will be easy. And we'll get a cute little notebook for it. That'll make it fun. Maybe a purple pen and stickers. We love purple pens and stickers.

Barefoot in the Snow

Today is the first day back to school after a three week Christmas vacation. Why a three week vacation? Because Mom moved in with us. This involved the school room becoming Mom's bedroom and the downstairs becoming the school room and Sweetling's room getting a loft bed and being repainted. One Thursday night, the Jedi came home and decided it was time to get the school room out and a bed in. Mom had been sleeping at our house since that Monday on the little loveseat couch. So, Thursday night began the Great Shuffle. I took Sweetling to Tae Kwon Do so the Jedi could dissasemble, move, and reassemble two beds. (The loft bed and the large captains bed weren't going through doorways as a unit. They had to come apart and be put back together.) Stuff got stacked in the LR, stuff got stacked in the new school room. Stuff got stacked in the hall. I looked at Sweetling and said "Merry Early Christmas, we're not doing school in all of this."

So, today was our first day back. Sweetling was tired this morning. Far too tired to do pre-algebra. But maybe not too tired to do science. Being a heartless Mommy that I am, I told her to do some of her basic forms for Tae Kwon Do to wake her up. I offered to send her outside, barefoot in the snow to practice her forms for that real 'Kung Fu' feel. She opted for the indoors instead. Go figure.

Little Guy, on the other hand, would have done it. Little Guy has said that snow is his favorite weather.

In other news, we had a great break. Sweetling's new room is awesome. She painted a lot of it all by herself. We drove to Canton Sunday before Christmas with three cats, three cardboard boxes, and two rolls of duct tape. We hit a white out north of Columbus. We left our driveway (the first time) at 3 pm. We drove five minutes to Mom's apartment for the great Boxing of the Cats. We left our drive way the second time around 5pm. We arrived at the Jedi's parents (the first time) at 11pm. We took the children in and tucked them in. We left to drive to East Nowhere Ohio where my brother's house is to drop off the cats. One cat deboxed itself en route. We arrived (the second time) at the Jedi's parents' at 1:30 am. I count it as an Experience. The Jedi counted it as an ordeal.

Sweetling's favorite part about Christmas: "I like getting Webkinz."
Little Guy's favorite part about Christmas: "Choo choo train" (quickly changed to Webkinz cause that's what Sweetling said.)

If I weren't so lazy, Id move the pics to the end of the blog. But that involves editing the Html page. And you and I both know that isn't going to happen.