Co-op Lunch Room

Most boring blog entry ever. Seriously, don't read it.

I'm writing because I'm forcing myself to write. I don't have any motivation, I don't have a topic, but I'm going to write anyway. Why? Because if I have some time to write, and if I decide not to write because I don't have a stellar blog entry, I'll quickly become trapped in perfectionism. Those of you who know me well may at this point be laughing at the thought of me being a perfectionist. And you're right, I'm not a perfectionist. But I am always at risk for being a defeatist. There is always, always the risk of falling prey to the mindset that my efforts/ability isn't very good, so why try? One of the ways that I combat that, at least when it comes to writing, is to give myself permission to write poorly anyway. (And then inflict my poor, rambling writing on the rest of the blogosphere).

Random thoughts--

--I'm sitting in the co-op lunch room. Hence the thrilling title. I'm free fourth period, for now, and I've finished the Bible study I brought to work on, so here I am with some free time and a netbook. Go me and my netbook.

--Toa of Boy tale. Yesterday I called the children into the kitchen to check out how the snow had melted on excatly half of the front lawn, which is on the north side of the house. The shadow of the roof line made a sharp edge of demarcation between the green grass and the white snow. I was just so impressed by the clear difference between the sun and the shade. Toa of Boy's comment, "So, we can go bikeriding?"

--Crazy Love. I'm going to love this book. I watched a video segment on the website "the awe factor of God" and it was, in fact,  awesome. I tried to pull the video segment up on the flatscreen tv in the living room (which is run through a media center pc), but I wasn't quite the techno geek for the task. I'm going to give The Songwriter all sorts of grief next Tuesday for not liking the video segment.

--Sweetling. Sweetling no longer makes apperances in my blog entries and facebook updates because many of her peers are on Facebook. I don't think Sweetling would appreciate her Mommy sharing "cute Sweetling stories" that are visible by the entire church youth group. Still, I feel guitly that I share about Toa and am silent in regards to Sweetling.

--Three pounds. No, this isn't at all like Seven Pounds. Only that between the middle of December and the middle of January, I've gained back three of the four pounds I lost when I spent several weeks carefully counting calories last August and September. Two months to take off four pounds, one month to put almost all of it back on. And yeah, I know three to four pounds isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but darnit, I worked hard to lose those four pounds. I really don't want to go back to knowing how many calories are in two measly peanut M&Ms, so I'm looking into The Belly Fat Cure instead.

--Sewing. I can do it, I don't like it. It's like cleaning....I can do it, I don't like it. I tend to procrastinate any sort of sewing project. I know you are all shocked by this. Yesterday, the Jedi asked me, again, if I could please mend one of our waterbed sheet sets when I got the chance. I realized later that whenever the family needs anything, the Jedi prioritizes the task and gets it done no matter how unpleasant it is, how grueling it is, how frustrating it is, or how tired or stressed he is. None of that matters. What matters is that something needs done, and he does it. I'm ashamed at how immature and selfish I am by comparison.

--Water. The water in the co-op school building tastes yucky. I bring two waterbottle with me to co-op each week. Today, I had drunk both of them by the end of lunch. Now I have no water and I'm thirsty. Ok, no good water.

--Stampede. Co-op is ending. I hear the echoing stampede of feet on the stairs.

Draw Near

I'm working through an excellent Bible study which I downloaded, all by myself, in e-book form. Currently, I cannot reveal the name of the ebook or the site where I found it, but as soon as I finish it, I shall do so. My secrecy will make sense at that time.

I've been doing most of the writing assignments and written responses in my little spiral bound devotion journal rather than on-line. (Cause its a secret for now, right?) However, I want to remember the lesson from today's devotions. Occasionally I do go back and reread my blog. I rarely go back and reread my devotion journal. Sad, but true. So, that said, here is the scripture and the question and answers from today's devotions:

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy --think about such things.

Phillipians 4:8

1. Please list several “achievements” from your life – these are things you have worked hard to accomplish, over time, and have (whether known to you at the time or not) received God’s help in accomplishing them. Some examples might include finishing your degree after having kids, training an assistance animal, starting a Bible study in your neighborhood, raising a child, finishing your first quilt, etc. If you have difficulty in coming up with 3 of them, ask your husband, a sister, a good friend and God for direction on which 3 you should pick from your life and list them here:

--homeschooling
--being a foster mom
--being an adoptive mom

2. Prayerfully consider each of the above achievements. Circle the one you sense God was most involved in for you.

--being an adoptive mom

3. Fully remember the details surrounding all the aspects of this achievement. Prayerfully make some notes about what was most important during this time. Think in terms of how you thought about challenges you faced, how you overcame them, what your thought patterns were like, etc.

(While I could write a book on the process we went through for our international adoption I limited my 'thoughts of note' to the following:)

--God's selection of Toa of Boy that I can now answer his question of "who picked me out?"
--waiting on the process
        --> faith in God's sovereignty
       --> image of the Israelites following the pillar
--God's sovereignty even in out illness that allowed Sweetling to be reassured of her part and importance in the family

4. What do you sense God wants you to know about yourself, based upon this achievement?

--God will lead me in walking by faith if I seek him in my circumstances.

5. What do you sense God wants you to know about Him, based upon this achievement?

--see above ;)

6. What do you sense now that you didn’t know when you were in the midst of the achievement?

-- It isn't that God wasn't as involved with me in other parts of life or in other acheivements,  it's that I wasn't as involved with God.

Draw  near to God and he will draw near to you.

--James 4:8

I had that verse on a golden key chain that someone I worked with gave to me. I subsequently lost the key chain, along with the keys that were on it of course, but I remembered that verse. I haven't always applied it in my life as much as I would like, but I want to begin applying it now. K-Love this morning was talking about picking a "word" for yourself for 2010, presumeably a key word that would bring to mind a certain scripture verse. I think my words will be "draw near". Yes, I know that's two words, but you know how much I like to break the rules of any assignment.

7. In terms of achievement, how are you viewing your progress in doing [name of book]? Go back to the “Understand This First” section at the beginning of the book and evaluate how you are doing in each of those areas. Do you need to make any adjustments? If you are in a small group, how is your group doing?

The "Understand This First" section included a fairly extensive self-evaluation and reflection section. At the end of that section the book asked me to go back over my responses and pick two key aspects that I felt led to really focus on over the course of the study. My two areas of focus were to be:
--prayer, and
--a spirit of power, love, and self-control
To be bluntly honest, I had completely forgotten about the exercise of picking two key areas of focus. However, I feel that, once again, God is orchestrating the details of my life to bring me what I need. At church we are beginning a season of focus on prayer and fasting. Also, today was the first day of a  reinstituted women's Bible study in which we will be reading and discussing the book Crazy Love. And now I'm being drawn back to the "draw near" verse.

Autobiography

Toa of Boy is my name. I like playing wii. I like to eat dinner. I like to play in the rain. I lik to play in snow. I like io play in Sharon Woods. I like to swim. I like KirBy. I write this.

Condition Stable

Dad's condition seems to be stablizing. It's still going to be a very long, slow recovery, but the doctors are talking about long-term treatment options whereas before they were rather pessimistic about him pulling through.

So today, the first thing I am thankful for is:

<3 Bapa's health
<3 Deb's safe flight in from California
<3 soft tacos for dinner
<3 snuggles with kids in the big arm chair
<3 completed school lessons yesterday
<3 working with Sweetling on algebra
<3 lots of hot chocolate

Readings: GENESIS 18:1-21:7  and some thoughts--

--how many hours did it take to prepare the food Abraham served to his guests?
--when did Abraham realize who was sitting in the shade of the tree, enjoying his hospitality?
--I can almost hear God's small, patient smile in his reply to Abraham's plea bargaining
--why doesn't Lot return to Abraham after Lot left Zoar instead of going to live in the mountains by himself?
--Abraham's second 'prostitution' of Sarah, and again, he profits by it. I wonder how bitter and heartbroken it made Sarah feel. Did she cling to the fact that God protected her even when her husband would use her?

Forgot my Devotion Journal

My devotional journal is at home. I am not. Therefore, once again, you few readers get another exciting glimpse into my devotional time.

thankful for--
<3 a SAFE trip last night
<3 being here for the Jedi's mom
<3 the Jedi is visiting with his dad right now
<3 kids are heading out to play in the snow
<3 well heated van
<3 reading the Love & Respect book with the Jedi
<3 a good night's sleep

Readings: GENESIS 15:1-17:27 and thoughts:
--Abram counted as righteous because of his faith, always one of my favorite concepts
--the sins of the Amorites do not yet warrant their destruction...during Abram's time, their were priests of the Most High God among some of the people in the land. Yet, all the people would eventually become so vile, they would warrant their own destruction.
--Sarai gets a bad rap. God's first promise was just to Abram. Sarai wasn't included in that promise, so I don't think she acts in disobedience, or with a lack of faith, when she presents Hagar to Abram.
--The God who Sees Me.

In other news, lessons I'm learning in my mother-in-laws kitchen:
--boxes of spaghetti in the cabinet above the stove might be open. Be careful how you remove them when your rumaging for cereal in the morning.
--not all plastic stirring spatulas are heat resistant.
--step stools are your friend
--toasters must be plugged in before they will actually toast bread

Simple Woman's Daybook

For today, Monday, Jan 4, 10:42 pm.

Outside my window...its a whole new world of cold out there. I opened the patio door a little after seven this morning to toss some crackers out for the squirrels and every joule of heat in the air around me was immediately sucked away. There is no snow to speak off, only tiny little flecks that have not really formed far enough past the basic ice crystal state to qualify has a snowflake. There is just enough of them in the air to swirl around in the bitter wind to sting eyes and face. I was outside for a second time this morning to carry library books to the car for Mama. I looked up once to see a swarm of snow's more sinister cousin come swirling off my neighbor's roof during a gust of wind. I hustled my shivering body back inside.

I am thinking....we're likely driving back up to Canton today. The Jedi's mother was going to give us a call this morning with an update on Dad's condition. Here's what needs done today:
--pack clothes for me and the kids.
--pack the bathroom bag?
--pack Toa's school books
--pack Sweetling's school books
--make a list of easy menus I can cook up in Canton
--make a grocery list and check Meijer's sale flier for the groceries I need
--go to Meijer and/or Walmart to get some of the shopping done before the drive
Sweetling has just finished her math for the day, and Toa is just now finishing up phonics. The laundry is done and folded, so we're off to a good start.

I am thankful for...a good and gracious God who hears our prayers.

Toa is finished with his phonics worksheets. I'm off to start packing.

Reaching the Children

I have a tossed salad of thoughts to write about today. However, I shall group my thoughts and subtitle each section, cause you all know I'm an organizational goddess.

Interview with Toa of Boy

(Disclaimer: Toa of Boy loves church. Always. Well, disclaimer to the disclaimer, he always loves children's church. He groans about having to sit with Mommy and Daddy once a month on family Sunday. But children's church you can't keep him home from. Combine his eagerness to go to church with lessons that he really understands and talks about later AND many memorized scripture verses and you get a picture of an extremely effective children's program. So, the disclaimer is that the amusing antedote I'm about to share is an exception to the norm.)

"Mommy," says Toa of Boy, "We started a new program at church today."

"Oh," says Mommy, quickly remembering that they had wrapped up the previous curriculum just before Christmas. "What's the new program?"

Toa of Boy shrugs.

"What did you do?" asked the Mommy who knew he just needed a little help clarifying his thoughts.

Toa of Boy grins and declares, "We yelled a lot of things loudly!"

"What sorts of things did you yell?" was the perfect, teacher-type follow-up question. So the Mommy asked it.

"One team, the home team yelled, 'We want to win!' And the other people yelled, 'We are superstars!"

This wasn't the Biblical truths the Mommy was expecting, and she must have looked confused, becasue Toa of Boy went on to explain, "Some people were the home team and the other people were the visiting team and Miss Bethann was the coach and when she said 'visitors' then the visitors had to yell and you had to yell the loudest and the home team was the loudest by a little bit I think."

At least, I think that's what he said. Sometimes following Toa of Boy's explanations can be a bit challenging. I do know what that Mommy said next. Not to be detered from having a beautiful and meaningful teachable moment to follow up and reinforce the deep spiritual insight he had surely experienced at church, the Mommy asked, "So, what was the lesson?"

"I don't know," says an unphased Toa. "She talked a lot of words so I don't remember them."

School Attendance

I haven't logged my school attendance hours since November 30th. Now, for the actuall school days, we have spiral-bound notebooks that we write down start and end times for each subect. (In theory.  That lovely record keeping theoretically happens every school day.)

However, the last month being the month of December and a little busy, our record keeping left a little to be desired. Plus, on many days we were doing educational activities, but just not our regular curriculum. For those of you unfamilar with how attendance works in a virtual school, each day (ha ha) the parent or primary instructor is to log into the on-line system and log the amount of time each student spent in each separate subject. I, being the unschooler that I am at heart, often have difficulty figuring out under which subject to log our extra-curricular activities. Building fairy houses? I take the total time and divide it evenly among art, language arts (for the story-telling), and science (for the nature hike portion of the expedition.)

So, I'm an old hand at deciding how to log worth-while, educational, enriching activites that just don't fit in the regular mold. However, I struggled with a few of our Christmas activities. I was going to post these on Facebook for opinions, but there were too many.

Three hours of work at the food pantry at church? Health, since it builds character.
Helping to make 90 some Ojos de Dios and hand-colored envelopes to hold them? Art, of course.
Zombies card game? Technology (for strategy decisions) and language arts (for the cleverly written carrds).
What about, really really wanting to pet the cow on Uncle Tommy's farm but accidentally spooking the cow multiple times, cause we were too excited to approach it carefully? Science, for animal behavior.
Attempting to ride an old tractor hubcab down a steep hill in the pasture? Um, physical education.
Making a small folding chair out of cardstock to stick on our Christmas tree after watch Curious George's A Very Monkey Christmas? Art.
Making a snowball to put in the freezer because someone else we know has a snowball named Frederickson living in their freezer? Science, annoying science, but science.
Building a 14 inch tall Lego Ogre Warrior who lived only long enough to get his picture taken and then do battle against the Bionicles, whereupon the Legos were gathered up and reassembled over the course of several days, with several rebuilds, to make a red dragon with moveable limbs, a multijointed tail, and a nearly two foot wingspan? Technology.
Backgammon at Mrs Ria's? Algebra.
Mythbuster marathon? Science.
Man Vs Food? History. That's pure American culture right there.

Tagged

To Nora, ttptptptptptptptp. You are such a bad influence. How many questions are there? Way the heck too many. That's work is what that is. What, do you think I like to write or something?

Prayer Request

Last, but far from least, please keep the Jedi's father in your prayers. He's back in the hospital, in ICU, in critical condition. Things are not looking good for him. We are traveling back up to Canton, likely tomorrow.

I'll update later with more specifics.

Crabapples in Tupperware

I found a link to this article on To Love, Honor, and Vacuum.

There is the question of why I want to write. I don't have a specific goal in mind. I don't have a burning, driving desire to be a novelist. I don't have a specific story or message that God has laid on my heart to share with others. I just like to write. I have this delusion that I'm occasionally good at it, and I want to practice and hone that ability.

That being said, I didn't write much today. I did read a few blogs. I failed to add The Starr Blog to my list. I accidentally deleted a story thread from my g-mail account. (But Christopher Robin is going to rescue me, cause she has the story thread and is going to resend it to me. After rolling her eyes of course.) And I came up with the oh so clever comparison that if a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver, then my words were more often like crab apples in tupperware. (By the way, Holly, I didn't mean to imply that I only directed my temper tantrums at God. My friends and family members also receive some fall out, though the Jedi gets the hysterical tears part more often than the temper tantrum part of my little emotional meltdowns.)

And now, Toa of Boy is snuggled into bed, so I can't play Zelda. No, that doesn't have anything to do with writing, The "and now" was a topic transition. Anyway, Toa of Boy is my cheerleader, commentator, and advisor while I'm playing Zelda. So, I can't continue on through the Water Temple without him, because the Zelda game has become nearly a team effort. I think I'll go play Sims Racing instead.

The Problem with On-line Bibles...

The problem with on-line Bibles is that they are online. As is Facebook, my blog, and a host of other distractions. Day Two of the New Year leads me to "Take Three" on my resolutions. Today I was nearly sabotaged by the online aspect of the chronological Bible. I opened my netbook while I was making my breakfast, with the intention of sitting down and doing my devotions while I ate. Somewhere between the sitting down and the devotions, I had become sidetracked on-line.

But I'm here now, doing devotions. And, as stated yesterday, the devotions will not become a regular part of the blog, so Facebook buddies needing go hiding all my updates just yet.

<3 Saturday morning snuggles
<3 family pictures on the flatscreen tv
<3 Sweetling's smile
<3 a clean an empty sink
<3 Christmas reflections book
<3 Zelda time yesterday
<3 God lets me sniffle on his shoulder when I need it

GENESIS 4:1-5:32;
1 CHRONICLES 1:1-4
GENESIS 6:1-22
 
--universality of God's warning to Cain. If you do what is right, you will accepted. But if you refuse to do what is right, watch out! Sin is crouching at your door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master. Too often we think the choice is between being obedient to God versus doing whatever we want. In reality, refusing to do what is right allows sin to control and enslave us.
--I can't read about the mark of Cain without immediately thinking, "vampire". Just being honest here.
--When I was a little girl, I always loved the Bible story of Enoch. I had a picture Bible that showed an illustration of a path winding around a group of flowing plants and shrubs. I wanted to be just like Enoch, walking closely with God.
--meaning of Noah's name is rather ironic. The father received what he wished for, a release from the toil of working the ground, but not in the way he expected.
--

New Year's Resolutions, Take Two

That's right; it's 10:23 am on New Year's Day, and I'm already on take two of my New Year's Resolutions.

See, I made my breakfast (well, ok, the Jedi made my breakfast), and I was planning on sitting down with my breakfast and my One Year Chronological Bible, which I loaned to mother a couple years ago. So, Mama, with perfect timing, walked into the kitchen, and I asked her for the Bible....having already spoken to her about my intent to read through the Bible again this year.

And that's where take two comes in. She might have left it in a car that died and got junked. She might have loaned it to someone at work. She meant to buy me another one so that I would never know, but she forgot.

No biggie. I just hoped on my cool new netbook, and did a search for an on-line chronological Bible, and voila.... this one is even cooler because you don't have to start on Jan 1. You can set your default start date on any day you choose. So, someone in April can still commit to reading the Bible in One Year, and not feel like they are starting out "behind" and, even better, still be able to read through it chronologically.

So, rather than get up and go fetch my pink pen and devotion notebook, I'm just doing today's devotion online.

I always start with seven specific things I'm thankful for.
<3 I'm still so proud of my kids' attitude, manners, and patience when we spent several hours of Christmas day visiting Bapa in the hospital.
<3 I'm glad Sweetling has a Jedi who cares for her so deeply and understands and connects with her.
<3 We got to spend almost the whole week at home with no outside obligations, commimtments, or appointments.
<3 I love my new penguin blanket and my new netbook.
<3 The Jedi tells me daily, daily, many times a day, how much he loves me and cherishes me.
<3 We got to see Tommy and family over Christmas.
<3 I love spending time with the Jedi, and I'm grateful for all the evenings we have had together this week.

And today's reading is Gen 1:1-3:24. Some thoughts as I read--
--I wasn't really motivated to read Genesis. I felt like, yeah, I know this part already.
--Why do you think God puts in so many references to "each one after its own kind."? He emphasizes that with regards to the plants, the fish, the birds, and the animals.
--Adam and Eve were vegetartians.
--The garden of Eden is always depicted as a "jungle". But the Bible says the "Lord God *planted* a garden..."  I want to see the garden design!
--the NLT version doesn't contain the reference to God placing man in the garden "to work it". Nevermind. It's in verse 15 "to tend it and watch over it."
--How many days, how much time passed between the creation of Eve and the day the serpent came to her? How much time did she have to live in and enjoy paradise before she and her husband sinned and were cast out of the garden?
--Wonder if the veil that separated the Holy of Holies from the rest of the temple had any artwork that symbolized the cherubim and the flashing sword that guarded the way back to the garden and the tree of life.Ah yes, Gen 26:31....the cherubim  are there, but not the sword. Though the ark itself was protect by God's glory, so perhaps the Glory of the Lord *was* the sword?

Don't expect this every day. Most days I'm lucky if I manage seven short blessings jotted in my notebook and a few verses read in the midst of breakfast and Toa interruptions.

Blog Year in Review

Forty-five minutes after the ball has dropped, Toa of Boy and Mama are in bed. Sweetling is on her compter giggling at HomeStar Runner. The Jedi is on his computer searching for a PC version of an old Commadore game. And I'm on my new netbook under my new penguin blanket bloggiing.

This is how this works. For each month of last year, post the first sentence written on your blog for each month. Then post here, and let me know so I can come read too :) I forget whose blog I saw this on first. Maybe tomorrow I'll search and see if I can find it.

January
Why are resolutions yucky?

February
I think I'm supposed to be sharing this Sunday in the women's Bible study.

March
I am thinking... that the Jedi and I have scared three of the youth boys into eternal bachelorhood after last night's class about marriage and communication.

April
I feel like I should start by saying that I'm not at all a Bible scholar.

May
Because I just did math with Honey Bunny.

June
I just need to stop visiting Nora's blog.
 
July
At Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers, they do a thing called week in review.
 
August
It's August already.

September
I am....sitting at the park.

October
Simple Woman's Daybook....cause I need to get back into blogging.

Novembeer
Toa of Boy likes to look at artwork produced by other young children.

December
Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, then tag your friends (including me).


In other happenings....
New Year's Resolutions
 
1. Read therough the Bible in a year. (I've successfully done this before using The One Year Chronological Bible,)
 
2. Write 250 words a day, except Sundays. Doesn't matter what or where I write. Some of it can be on my blog, some of it can be for Associated Content, some of it can be in a word program. Just write. (Or, alternatively, I can also take a day to revise anything I have written.)