Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Ten Timely Facts

Yes, after a long absence, I'm back to the Homeschool Memoirs Assignments. Why? Cause this weeks assignment involves no computer or technical ability for posting photos. Nor does it require creative clever rhymes. And its all about me. So, low effort, ego-centric... right up my alley.

Ten, or so (cause you know counting and trimming would be work), fun facts about me.

1) Math is not my friend. Oh, it tries to lure me in, but in the end I always want to know more about the little squirrel's story, and have lost interest in the exact count of his nut collection.

2) My hair is frizzy. It shall be forever more frizzy. It defies the straightening iron. It will, however do neat little ringlets with the curling iron. You know, the kind of ringlets that were cute and popular in about 1840.

3) I shall never master the chokehold in Tae Kwon Do. If I'm ever assaulted, and my survival depends on trying to get my attacker in a chokehold, I'm done for. In fact, we were taught, and supposed to practice this move last night. I got dubbed "Charmin" by the other ladies in the class, cause they said I just looked like I was doing a teddy bear hug. You figure out the logic there on your own.

4) No amount of crunches in the world is ever going to reverse the effect pregnancy had on my stomach. An extensive amount of plastic surgery, and the elimination of all things chocolate, might be a start. But if two months of TKD haven't done it yet, its just not happening. My tummy will be a misplaced piece of pudgy elephant hide forever. If I had a trim tummy and a cute belly button, I would be tempted to get a little tummy/belly button ring. Since I'm allergic to 99% of every earring I've put in my ear, this might be a bad idea anyway.

5)I've never been tempted to get a tattoo. a)this involves needles. b) this involves making a decision I'd be stuck with forever. BUT, I noticed a lot of the American olympians had tatoos of the olympic rings. If I were ever in the olympics, I'd totally do that. So, you see how likely a tatoo is in my future.

6)Despite my pudgy belly, I can buy my underwear from the little girl's department, cause they are cheaper there.

7)It looks like this list is not going up on the blog I keep with my co-op students.

8)The only "favorite" thing I've had for any amount of time is a favorite color, yellow. (Is yellow an appositive in that sentence? I think so.) All my other favorites, books, movies, songs, etc...phase in and out.

9)I live and die by spellcheck.

10)I'd love to dress in ethnic and eclectic clothing, but settle for jeans and tops off the clearance racks.

11) Just as well, since I would quickly get tired of some of my eclectic choices.

12) Sweetling is here to inform me I am no longer in keeping with the ten timely facts. Sweetling, bless her heart, does her best to keep her free-spirited mother on the straight and narrow.

13) Practically any sweet and delectable item can be made a breakfast food if one serves a side of scrambled eggs and cheese with it.

14) I love the flute, the hammer dulcimer, and the harp. I can play none of these, despite the fact that the Jedi bought me a flute many years ago for Christmas. Musical instruments require consistency and hard work. Not two of my better qualities.

15)Gardening also requires consistency and hard work. Despite the lies printed in books with deceptive titles like "20 minute gardening," "the low maintenance garden" and "the weekend gardener".

16) From October to March, my hands are perpetually cold. I keep a pair of thin gloves in a drawer by my desk to wear when I'm typing and doing school.

17)Flat surfaces are clutter magnets. Jimmy Hoffa might be hiding in my hall closet.

18) Maintaining any degree of artistic ability requires regular practice. Why are the loveliest things in life so demanding?

19) I can memorize entire psalms, a part in a script, or a lengthy monologue. These things stay with me for a day or two after I present them, then my brain, without any conscious direction from me, does a memory dump.

19) Sweetling is now objecting to my numbering scheme.

12b) Take that Sweetling ;)

8a) Sweetling says, "What?!?"

20) Sweetling has concluded that she has a crazy mother. And yet, your father married me anyway :) Sweetling thinks that this is because the Jedi is silly too. This was actually brought up in a Father's day sermon our pastor gave. His wife was Sweetling's Sunday school teacher. She had, a few weeks before, asked the children for some adjectives that described their fathers. Sweetling said her Daddy was "silly". From the pulpit, the pastor related this story and said, "Now I don't know if you know Mr. Jedi personally, but if you do, I think you'll agree with me in saying that 'silly' is not a word that I would have ever picked to describe this brother." (He went on to talk about how important it was for a father to laugh and play with his children.)

21)I want to end this list on one more thing. Oh, I know. I want to take a family vacation this summer. I don't know if that's going to be financially manageable. And certainly, of the big 'three' family vacations, none are happening. One of the big three would be to DC, one would be along the Oregon Trail, and one along RT 66 (for Sweetling). None of those are likely, but I really want to do something. Caves are out, the Jedi hates them. So, where could we go from Cincinnati, Ohio? We like nature and we like history, and we wont have a big budget. We also don't camp. Any suggestions?


tammy said...

ah, my favorite color is yellow, too. I was cracking up about the fact that your list wasn't going on your other blog! Too funny!! What a dear Sweetling you have and I know she tried oh, so hard to keep her mother in line. ;)

Impossible Mom said...

no suggestions, but can I say it took me till #12 to realize you went past 10? Its kind of a given...

Joy Comes in the Morning said...

I love the color yellow too. It reminds me of warm sunshine coming through my kitchen window as I do dishes. I feel so close to God at those times. Blessings.

flmom said...

I've thought about a tatoo more than once and then I remember that needles are involved ... no thanks, I'll pass. LOL

Nora MacFarlane said...

My dear friend,
Re: #4) If you are pudgy, I'd like to be pudgy too.
Re: #5) (I think), about the underwear...TMI...