In my life, I've forgiven many people for many different things. Not that I'm saying this to brag, but I'm saying this because I feel rotten. Well, maybe not rotten...but I feel like I *should* feel rotten. I've forgiven many people for many wrongs that were done to me...most of them, I know, just happened not because the people were intending to do me wrong, but just because the persons were human and falliable, and working under the strain of their own wounds and their own issues.
So, if I can forgive persons that wounded me, why do I harbor this on-going resentment towards one person in particular over, get this, a game? People who hurt me emotionally, physically, sexually, in my heart I've been able to forgive them. But this one person whose only crime is that this particular game isn't very fun anymore? Bitterness. And I smile and I'm polite, but deep down I just simmer. And the person isn't doing it on purpose. The person cares and thinks to make the game better for everyone.
And you know what, its a game, a game.
And I'm not angry for myself, which is what makes it difficult. Myself, its probably too easy for me to walk away from any situation whenever it gets uncomfortable or difficult. I am an expert at ditching and hiding. So, I'm angry for someone else, who's invested a lot of time and energy in this endeavor, who wanted to be able to do something like this for years, and who is reaping zero pleasure from it now.
Why am I writing this? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it'll just make things worse.
I feel like I need to forgive, and I can't seem to do that. I know a few of you that might read this have gone through the process of forgiving. Maybe I'm writing this in the hopes of getting a few tips.
At least a couple of you that read this will know exactly who and what I'm talking about. But you know how much I trust you, and I know you can keep my words in confidence.