I haven't blogged in a while. I mean, really blogged...not just putting up webkinz screen shots or posting lists of busy-ness. I think its because the things that are really on my heart and mind are just too difficult to write about. So instead, I use activities as a shield.
One of the women in my bible study group on wednesday was sharing an annalogy about the healing process. Its like scrapping off wall paper in an old house. You start to get the first layer off, and realize there is another layer of older, ugler paper under that, and maybe another layer under that. Each layer has been put up to cover the old, ugly stuff that no one wanted to look at or deal with anymore. But, to truly get a fresh start, you have to get every layer off, sand the wall down, and start over. And the process is hard, hard work. And the process is messy. And things are going to look and feel worse for a while before complete healing is possible. But once you start, you need to stick through it and finish the job.
But I think its all right too, to close the door for a bit, take a break. Go drink some water, get refreshed, and then come back to it. That's where I am right now. I've had enough of the layers of wallpaper. I'm not even sure, in some points, what the real wall is supposed to look like or when I know I might have reached it. So, I shut the door, and took a break. I will go back to it. I have to. But not just yet.
And in the meantime, I'll post my lists, whine about my losses to stuffed animals, and buy two packs of different kinds of pens before deciding that ball-point pens are just not worth the money, even if they are cheaper, cause I'll never write with them. Yes, it took two packs to figure that out. Anyone want some pens?