Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Green Isn't a Color & Gerbils Don't Like to Be Vacuumed

No. The gerbil did not meet a terrible fate involving a vacuum cleaner. Its all right. Breathe. There ya go.

Yes, to the Sweetling reading over my shoulder. I'm well aware that green *is* in fact a color, and not only that, but its your *favorite* color. (for now).

Let me tell my story. And then everything will make sense.

Long, long ago in the land of yore.... Well, at least long, long ago during my fresmen year of college a large group of us were up at all hours of the night sitting on someone's dorm room floor. We had played a game or two of Uno (maybe). We were bored and restless and rather than do the sensible thing of either our classwork or sleeping, someone suggested we play Fizzbin Uno. After the concept and story had been explained to the unenlighted among us, we proceeded to do so. It turned out to be surprisingly fun. To make the game playable, we decided that each hand, the dealer could make whatever rules s/he felt like, and all would have to follow those rules for that hand. The night wore on, the rules got sillier and more complex, and the freshmen got more slaphappy. (Only slaphappy, no other substances were involved.) In one game, I had at least thirty cards in my hand. Green kept coming up. Not a single one of my thirty plus cards were ever green. My hand kept growing at a seemingly expodential rate. I was extrodinarily vocal about this profound injustice. The next hand was my deal. I immediately proclaimed that green wasn't a color (my deal, my rules), and proceeded to deal out the cards.

For a little while after that statements of "Green isn't a color" made by the friends in that group were sort of taken to mean "I don't like this, and wish I could alter reality to my bidding."

Having explain that, let me just say-- Green isn't a color, and Wednesday's don't count.

There. I feel much better now.

I was making chili this afternoon. I put tomato sauce in this time, so it did have a chance. I realized after I had started the chili, that the chili took more time to simmer and sit than we actually *had* between the time the chili went on the stove, and the time we were meant to go to church. I then realized that the kitchen floor never got swept or mopped yesterday. How, I wondered, had that happened? I was so proud of getting *all* my routines done, *all* of Susan's school done, a blog posted, Christmas clutter put away, etc etc etc. Then I realized, the kitchen floor never got done, cause I streamlined my morning routine. The problem with streamlining is, once you take something doesn't get done unless you put it in somewhere else. Ding ding. Light bulb moment.

New thing. The housework that got nixed from the morning rountine, has to be done sometime. I can do it at 3, while Sweetling does her "homework". Then I should still have an hour of freetime between 4 and 5. Except on Wednesdays.

Nothing goes according to plan on Wednesdays. Ergo, Wednesdays don't count. But I still need to vacuum. Wednesdays are my vacuum days. So now the motto is, Wednesdays don't count, except for vacuuming.

The gerbil? I know you're wondering where the gerbil comes into this story.

Its not that exciting (lucky for the gerbil). Only that I did vacuum, and there was gerbil fluff all over the school room floor, the gerbil stand, my desk, the printer...pretty much anything within three feet of the gerbil cage. Gerbils like to *dig* you see. They are burrowing creatures. Being the loving person I am, our gerbil has a custom cage. The bottom half of the cage is an aquarium filled with fluff for a burrowing gerbil. The top half is a multi level wire platform cage that the Jedi rigged together. Not because he loves the gerbil mind you, but because he loves me. But, the gerbil, in his enthusiastic digging, throws fluff from the bottom half of the cage. It scatters and disperses out of the open wire top half of the cage. I vacuumed the outside of the cage, the stand, the desk, the printer, the floor. The gerbil wasn't pleased when the vacuum tube was going over the wire bars of its cage.

See. Told you it wasn't that exciting.

I should have just left the title stand on its own.

My something for the day:
bought a new devotional. bought a pair of navy blue pants for AHG. bought a pair of chocolate cordoroy pants for fun. bought a pink Bengals jersey for Sweetling. bought 5 polo shirts for the Jedi. ie--my something was going shopping.


The Maven said...

I wish my something was always going shopping and that my Wednesdays never count.

I'm also relieved that no gerbils were harmed in the making of your day.

Now I must do what I keep forgetting to do and add you to my 'self-absorbed exhibitionists' list on my page :P

Chocolateer said...

What went so wrong in my childhood that I'm delighted to be called a self-absorbed exhibitionist?

lushgurl said...

You are TOO funny!!! Glad the Maven linked you 'cause I know I'll be back to read more craziness that I TOTALLY get! Hey do you do 'something' everyday? Tell me more!