Tuesday, January 30, 2007


1. I'm tired of this cold. I'm feeling much, much better today and yesterday than I have been in a while, but I'm *still* conjested and *still* not sleeping well at night because of it.

2. Christoper Robin is abbreviated CR. We have decided that this can also stand for Corruptive Rascal.

3. I've had the song First of May stuck in my head this morning. I'm blaming CR. I've been very, very careful not to sing it out loud with the Sweetling around.

4. I have a tablet PC. The Jedi has spent last week updating it and upgrading it. He's going to install art rage on it for me.

5. I have a tendancy to get myself over-involved. VBS committee has just started up. (I went to the VBS curriculum fair on Thursday, which I thoroughly enjoyed.) I want to be involved with crafts, decorating, kids dance team, and preschool lesson. That's FOUR areas. My eyes are bigger than my stomach (or certainly bigger than my schedule).

6. We had a phone consultation with a therapist from Children's Hospital last night. In November, E is for Energy had been moved from his orphanage home to a new orphanage. He hasn't been happy with the move and separation, and has been throwing temper tantrums. While this is a totally natural and understandable response, I'm anticipating more temper tantrums when he comes home with us. I want to have some plans in place, some tools, some well-thought out responses, for how to best cope with and help him handle his anger and frustrations.

7. I journaled about that this morning. I know, from past experience, several things.
a) I am *capable* of handling this in a very positive constructive way. I did a wonderful job with some situations as a preschool teacher with two of my students who were prone to huge, violent tantrums.
b) At home, I tend to avoid any form of confrontation. Its very, very difficult for me to be firm.
c) When I was growing up, any and all types of behavior from any male family member, regardless of age, was either excused, appeased, rationalized, or ignored. I need to make a conscious choice not to follow that example.
d) I can NOT turtle out on this. I WILL NOT turtle out on this. I WILL have a healthy approach already in place before E is for Energy comes home.

8. We have an appointment in early February for an office visit with the therapist. Me, Sweetling, and the Jedi are all going. We'll see her at least twice in the office before E is for Energy comes home. She's helping us put into place a family plan for E is for Energy's grief and fear based tantrums.

9. I need to look up P.C.I.T and see what that's all about.

10. I haven't gotten back to any art. I'm really unhappy with how Fawn is looking. I'm really pleased with how Richard looks. This is the time at which I'm tempted to give up the project. I need to make a commitment to finishing it.

11. I thought there was a scripture, a promise that God will equip you to handle any good work for which he has called you. But, I can't find it. I found three verses that were close, but not the specific encouragement that I really need right now.

12. This is from my journal this morning:

E is going to need me.
He is going to need my strength.
He is going to need my confidence.
He is going to need my consistancy.
He is going to need my presence.
He is going to need my love.
He is going to need my guidance.
He is going to need my boundaries.
He is going to need my discipline.
He is going to need my acceptence.
He is going to need my comfort.
He is going to need my understanding.
He is going to need my tenderness.
He is going to need my steadfastness.
He is going to need me to follow through.
He is going to need me to uphold consequences.
He is going to need my praises.
He is going to need me to stay engaged.
He is going to need to hear my voice.
He is going to need my embrace.
He is going to need me to provide structure.
He is going to need my bravery.
He is going to need my softness.
He is going to need my firmness.
He is going to need me to be his mother.


Impossible Mom said...

Do you remember WAAAAAAAY back when you were having trouble with bounderies and I gave you that book? There has to be a book on this somewhere...the woman who juggles too much.

As far as discepline goes, Its a nessecarey thing for good parenting. I find it hard sometimes too, just remember to always pick your battles. The teachers at school kept telling me I needed to work on getting volume not to lick everything. Its an overwhealming task and I flat out told em no. So just pick your battles...you'll be strong enough.

Chocolateer said...

I have a book with an elephant balancing on a beach ball. I can never remember its title, but I remember the image. I should get that back out and reread it, because I've obviously forgotten the lessons.

You know, I was mentioning that boundry book in wow this morning. It was an awesome book.

I did send out an email today saying no to being on a subcommittee for planning preschool vbs. Do I get a cookie? And I'm not being on the main VBS committee either. More cookie.

lushgurl said...

WOW Ms. Chocolateer...you moved me to tears today...
I only have to say thank you for posting the list of things you need to be for E is for energy... I will substitute Devilteen in there and book mark it! I SO needed to 'hear' that today.
BTW...Fawn looks great, you, my dear, are too critical of self, have a cookie, you deserve it!!! XOX

Chocolateer said...

Thank you thank you Lushgirl :) I needed some nice encouragement this evening :)