Why We Should Believe People Who Say the Anti-Christ Is Going to Use Computers to Take Over the World

Behold the log of evidence:

Yesterday, 7:30 a.m.
The Jedi is at work already. I sit at my school desk to login and update attendance and lesson plans for our online school. No go. Now, I usually try to do this at night before bed, but couldn't log in the night before either. I close Firefox and try IE. No. I try from the kitchen laptop. No. I get on facebook to whine and learn that the school site isn't down, cause other people can log in. Its just me. I clear my cache. Nope. I clear my cache and reboot. Nope. I jump through every technological hoop I can think of and a few that facebook friends suggest. Nope. Short of sacrificing a chicken on the keyboard, I'm just not getting on the OLS (online learning system) today.

Yesterday 11:30 am.
I've done math and phonics with Toa of Boy, because we don't need the OLS for either of those subjects. I sit down with Sweetling to do algebra at the kitchen table. But, I haven't done the problems in advance, I haven't worked yesterday's problems either, and I'm pretty frustrated in general.

"Do you want to do algebra?" I ask Sweetling.

"Not really," answers Sweetling.

"Good. Let's go play Wii," say I. And that's what we do till lunch. After lunch we have a literature and language day, which means that Mommy reads a book, Sweetling reads books and posts on her boards, and Toa of Boy plays Super Mario Galaxy.

Yesterday 5:30 pm
We are all sitting at the dinner table. "When you get back from Sweetling's Tae Kwon Do," I ask the Jedi, "can you look at the computer? I can't log on to K12." I then regale the Jedi with my tales of computer woes from the morning.

Yesterday 6:12 pm
I get an email from the Jedi, sent from his phone, from the TKD school. The text?
"K12 is fixed." And indeed it is. Still, I don't use the opportunity to get my records caught up or to look at tomorrow's lesson plans. Instead, I finish my book.

Today, 6:20 am
I'm awake, much to my dismay. Sweetling is sleeping on the floor of our bedroom in a sleeping bag, having arrived there sometime after midnight last night. Rather than wake her with the window "boot up" chimes from my school computer right outside our bedroom doorway, I set up the laptop on the kitchen table. Plus, the kitchen table is more conducive to early morning cups of hot chocolate. I sit down to log in to K12.

NOTHING.

The Jedi is in the shower. I patiently do other things while I wait for him to get out.

Today, 6:40 am
The Jedi is out of the shower, dressed, and comes into the kitchen for breakfast. I open the K12 log in screen so that the Jedi can see exactly what has been driving me batty since Wednesday night.

As soon as the Jedi ENTERS THE ROOM, the login goes perfectly smoothly.

I sit at the kitchen table updating my attendance and looking over today's lesson plans. The Jedi has his breakfast, packs his lunch, and heads to work.

Today, 9:40 am
Sweetling and I sit down with her algebra to check her work from Wedenesday and do the next lessons. I open the K12 log in screen, cause I still haven't gotten around to working out the problems myself, and just want to enter her answers and have the computer check her work. That's involved parenting at its best.

NOTHING.

I try from the OTHER kitchen laptop, the one that's permanently mounted to my kitchen wall. Still nothing. I start jumping through the same non-productive hoops I jumped through yesterday trying vainly to get k12 to load. I throw a fairy fit. Sweetling says, "Ok Mommy, you're starting to act a little creepy."

I sit down with a pad of paper and a pencil to work out the algebra problems, check Sweetling's answers, and teach the next lesson. I complain bitterly the entire time to Sweetling about the wickedness of the computer and how it PLANS to fail on me when the Jedi isn't around to keep it in line.

Sweetling sincerely asks, "Do you want me to go get you my Edward Bear to sit next to the computer?"

So that's where I am right now. Resorting to plush Jedi voodoo dolls in hopes of influencing the internal processing of the computer in my favor.

Today, 10:40 am
Sweetling and I have finished algebra. Sweetling sits at her school computer downstairs to do some independent learning. Sweetling logs into K12 without any problems whatsoever. Why? Because she's the Jedi's little girl, that's why.

I'm going downstairs to climb into a large cardboard box with Toa of Boy so we can do phonics together.